Mercedes and Mike lead Kitty, Marley, Jake and Ryder in their callback, which is a sing and dance-off to the Grease song “Born to Hand-Jive.” The couples dance together and switch off, testing the chemistry between the four potential Danny/Sandy combinations. Many jealous looks are thrown around as Jake does his best to steal Marley from Ryder’s hold and Kitty does her best to make everyone miserable. At one point, Jake throws her over his shoulder mid-twirl and tells her to stop being so crazy, and the pair definitely come across as somewhat more insane than the enthusiastic and naïve Marley and Ryder. Still, everyone puts on a good show, so there’s a possibility that it’s still anyone’s game.
After the callbacks, Finn finds a dressed-down Unique in the library and says solemnly that they need to talk. Unique thinks Finn’s there to let her down gently, but Finn looks around and coyly offers her the part. Unique is thrilled and accepts, and Finn says that he’ll handle Sue or anyone who tries to make it an issue. As Finn goes to leave, Unique is so overcome that she begins to look upset, and when Finn asks what is wrong, she explains how out of place she feels being made to portray a boy at school, and that it’s nice to finally have found one. Finn looks touched, and levels with Unique – he wants to check that before he posts the cast list, Unique is ready for the backlash, and that Finn can try to be a shield for some of it, but maybe not all. Unique accepts this, saying “dreams aren’t free,” so Finn and his team go to post the cast list. We get some stunning reaction shots from the new Grease cast – including the flawless appointment of Sugar as Frenchy, Tina, all smiles, as Jan – clearly she and Mike worked things out during commercial, the place where all their plots happen – and a resigned Blaine as Teen Angel. Marley and Ryder get the top spots as Sandy and Danny, and Kitty is furious to have received the role of Patty Simcox.
“I don’t understand, I prayed really hard about this,” she demands. “Maybe God didn’t hear you because he was busy helping people with cancer,” actual-good-Christian Joe offers up, but Kitty shuts him up and immediately starts blaming Jake, saying he screwed up “Hand-Jive.” “No, I didn’t,” he tells her. “We were both great. It just didn’t work out.” “I’ve been hearing that a lot from you lately,” she says, and stalks off, making sure, as she goes, to exacerbate some more body issues in Marley, in what is sure to be the plot-line of another Very Special Eating Disorder episode. As she leaves, Sue approaches and everyone freezes as she checks the cast list. When she gets to the casting of Wade ‘Unique’ Adams as Rizzo, Finn stares her down defiantly.
At their apartment, Emma is panic-stirring saucepans in an attempt to make Will a complex meal. When he comes home and finds her like this, she starts to babble nervously about the reasoning behind it until he tells her to stop and admit the problem. She forces out that she doesn’t want to go to Washington with him, and asks him to sit. They talk about what it means, and what they want from their relationship. She loves that Will gets to do this, but admits that she’s scared of resenting him and pulling away if she goes with him. “I would rather be here, far from you but feeling really close than close to you but feeling really far away.” Will finally catches on that forcing Emma to accompany him will ruin their relationship, and they agree to go long distance for the grand total of three months, with plenty of weekend visits.
Will goes to break the news to the other love of his life, Finn Hudson. Will compliments Finn’s enthusiasm with the musical, and when Finn struggles to pinpoint why he feels fulfilled by it, Will smiles and tells him “it’s called being a teacher.” Which leads him to his other point – he’s leaving for a while and he’d like to leave Finn to run the glee club in his absence. Finn starts to smile in disbelief as Will explains that he spoke to Figgins and that since glee club isn’t an actual class, they don’t need a certified teacher to run it – just an adult. “Mr Schue, I’m not an adult,” Finn says adorably, wrinkling his nose, and when Schue replies with “First of all, I think maybe it’s time you start calling me Will,” the exchange hits me right in the feels.
The mushiness is quashed immediately as Will states “You’re ready, and if you’re willing, I can promise you that there’s no greater joy in the world than helping a young boy like you turn into a man,” and I mean, come on, if that wasn’t intended to make him sound like an Ancient Greek pederast, then they really need to go over their scripts a bit more. Oh, Glee, at least I can always count on you to give me words that I literally cannot believe are coming out of people’s mouths on national television. Good to have you back.
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