Ryder, hopped up on performance joy, introduces himself to Marley. She knows who he is – she likes his dancing during the football games. He knows who she is – he likes her mom and her mom likes him. They both can’t stop grinning at each other, and as they talk about potentially playing Sandy and Danny, New Puck does some pointed lurking and glaring, which Kitty, still bitter, calls him out on. She amps up his jealousy by pointing out all the ways Ryder is superior to him, and because Kitty refuses to allow either Jake or Marley any happiness due to them shaming her or whatever. She saunters up to try and attract Ryder’s attention, but – shock! – her tactics don’t really work, because Ryder is apparently a nice dude, and as she viciously bullies Marley while flirting with him, he looks at Kitty like she’s dirt and calls her a bitch.
She’s not off-put, proving that she’s literally a crazy person, and when she goes to sign up for the musical, intending to take the Sandy role – and Ryder – from Marley, Jake decides to sign up with her, in order to keep Kitty in line and Ryder away from Marley. Jake gets coerced into auditioning as a pair with Kitty, and they perform “Everybody Talks” by Neon Trees, choreographed with pseudo swing-dancing. They actually have more chemistry than they ever did as an awkward couple and I realise that I kind of want these two to be bitchy, miserable best friends. The panel of judges whoops and cheers, impressed, and Jake sweeps Kitty up in a hug as Marley pouts and weeps in the wings.
Finn, Artie, Mike and Mercedes get down to business with their thumb-tacks as they begin the casting process. They plan callbacks for Sandy and Danny, and start making final calls on some of the other roles. They cast Brittany, their best dancer, as Cha-Cha, and Mercedes wants to cast Tina as Jan just as soon as they can get her to agree to being in the same room as ex-boyfriend Mike Chang, whom she tossed aside earlier this year. When Finn says he wants to cast Unique as Rizzo, Artie isn’t sure about it, but is enthused by Finn’s passion and drive and so agrees to the choice. Sue, who probably had spy cameras set up awaiting this very moment, bursts in and demands that Finn report to the principal’s office. “The twin idiots seated before you are poised to cast the she-male fabulous Unique Adams as Rizzo in Grease, the already overly-sexualized minstrel show featuring teen pregnancy and the ridiculously unnecessary lubrication of lightning,” Sue reports to Figgins, who is confused – naturally, he’d thought Unique was biologically a girl, and one with a bangin’ bod, to boot.
Finn almost visibly starts to laugh at Sue’s antics, looking as if Sue is the ridiculously unnecessary one, and his quiet confidence is a nice thing to see. “I don’t see what the big deal is. If Unique dresses as a girl, and identifies as a girl, she should be allowed to play one onstage,” he states, and it’s the most beautiful thing to have ever come out of his mouth. Miss-The-Point Schuester over in the corner pipes up referencing Shakespearean cross-gendered casting, but Finn goes on to point out that McKinley, in the last few years, has become somewhat of a haven for outcasts, and that it shouldn’t change just because Sue is a bigot. Sue objects to this, reminding them that she has had gay kids on the Cheerios and resigned as principal in protest of the attitude taken towards Kurt’s bullying.
She says that his point about McKinley being a “progressive bubble” is valid – “I think that’s due to the fact that the glee club is being run by a strange, weepy man-child with lotion in his hair but no adult friends.” She hits the crux of the matter, perhaps the point that she’d been trying to make all along disguised with insults and prejudice: that outside of their bubble, they live in small-town Ohio, and this will become a public issue, because she’ll make it one. She tries to guilt them into not putting Wade in danger just to make a point about how open-minded they are, and asks Will to make a call and put a stop to the situation.
Will – the man who wouldn’t let Kurt Hummel perform a female’s Broadway solo until he was threatened with legal action – says he has no control of the situation, that all the power lies in the hands of the teenage student and former student he has allowed to run the musical. Finn finally says enough is enough and puts his foot down, saying he has nothing left to lose, that he’s not scared of Sue, and he promptly puts his foot somewhere else when berating her, saying he thought she’d know more about being an underdog after helping the club win Nationals last year, and having a retarded baby. He immediately steps back and apologises for his inappropriate word choice, but Sue silently fixes him with a look that’s scarier than any of her rants, and leaves. Finn, so mature and confident again, looks dumbstruck, and Will buries his head in his hands.
Beiste finds Emma checking out Washington apartments with a look of fixed determination. She tells the redhead that she knows Emma doesn’t want to go, and that she needs to tell Will. Emma admits that she’s scared of stifling Will’s dreams and becoming another Terri, but Beiste the guru states that Emma better find something she wants to do in Washington besides keeping Will company. “You know I love Will, but I think you’ve spent so much time working on being his girl that you’ve forgot that the reason he’s so into you is because of all the things you are besides that.” Praise. More couple drama arises as Mike finally corners Tina, who’s been avoiding him since he came back to town. She’d been fine with their break-up when she didn’t have to remember he existed, but she can’t handle him being there. Mike, the dumpee, says it’s weird for him too, but that he didn’t think Tina would be upset. “Neither did I,” she screams, clearly having some buyer’s remorse. Mike urges her to help him make it not weird, if this is keeping her from doing Grease, and takes her arm, saying they could really use her talent. She shakes him off and refuses to consider it.
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