Before moving on to the top five films, I’d like to discuss other films that would be considerably grotesque if seen in 4D, although unfortunately did not make the cut for this list. 101 Dalmatians is an honorable mention; 101 young puppies in a house presumably urinating wherever and whenever their hearts desire would be just as horrifying as having to manage 101 puppies. In Les Miserables, Jean Valjean carries Marius through the sewers of Paris to help him survive. Bless Valjean, but the sewers of Paris in the 1830s? The thought of that is simply revolting (pun intended). The amount of slimy human waste in an early 19th century plumbing system doesn’t sound like a party. Lastly, essentially any scene in Star Wars featuring Jabba. Seriously, Jabba’s a slug-toad-obese creature (specifically, a Hutt) that plausibly smells as unfortunate as he looks. There’s a scene in Return of the Jedi where Princess Leia is forced incredibly close to him, and rightfully turns her head away while he speaks. There are a plethora of other films that could qualify as an honorable mention (or arguable to be included on the top ten list), but superb problem is that there are simply too many fantastically nasty films to consider.
5. ‘Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope’ (1977)
A memorable scene from Star Wars: Episode IV is the trash compactor, and it would probably be more memorable if it was converted to 4D. Again, Han even curtly states, “What an incredible smell you’ve discovered.”
We all know the story: while rescuing Princess Leia from the Death Star, Luke, Han, and Chewie attempt to avoid Storm Troopers – and literally dive into a trash compactor to save themselves. Who knows what’s in this Death Star trash compactor – Storm Trooper stool (how does that work with their uniforms?), broken Droids, old and moldy nacho platters from their Destruction of Alderaan after-party, and maybe even corpses of troopers and generals that Vader terminated in pitiful outburts of anger.
There’s even the weird creature that swims around the liquid (what is that liquid?) in the compactor. Even if it didn’t habituate in the compactor, it probably wouldn’t exert a wonderful smell – but the fact that it lives, and probably thrives, in filth can’t make it any better. I hope Luke got a bath after they got back on the Millennium Falcon; after being underwater with that creature of filth, he probably smelled as nauseating as Jabba.
With all of the unique creatures and objects set in Star Wars all piled into a trash compactor, it’s very clear their scents together would not please the nostrils.
4. ‘Shrek’ (2001)
Few fictional creatures are smellier than an ogre.
Though clearly a fun and well-done film (it was the first movie to win “Best Animated Film” at the Academy Awards in 2002), that doesn’t mean it would be enjoyable to watch in 4D. Since I first saw the film 12 years ago, I’ve had the opening credits of Shrek forever burned into my memory. While considering taking a bath in mud, brushing teeth with insect feces, farting in a pond, his outhouse, I literally cringe thinking about these unfortunately disgusting habits in too much detail. When villages go on an ogre hunt to look for Shrek, it’s understandable they scream and run away – I would run at the whiff of an ogre, too.
If Fiona wasn’t under a spell to become an ogress every night, she probably wouldn’t have found Shrek attractive simply due to his odor (vain, but believable). Hygiene is an important and often forgotten aspect when considering a significant other – but Shrek is an excellent reminder of how important it is.
Shrek isn’t just a film about love and accepting others, it’s a movie about the importance of maintaining good hygiene, too.
3. ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince’ (2009)
Let’s be real: dead bodies in an isolated lake is a recipe for some of the foulest odors.
Inferi, for readers who need a Harry Potter brush up, are human corpses under a spell to perform puppet work for the respective witch or wizard. Specifically, Voldemort used inferi to help protect his locket horcrux. Voldemort programmed the inferi so that when the horcrux is tampered with, the inferi attack the intruder: which is exactly what happened to Harry.
Voldemort created and hid the locket in the mid-1940s, which means over 50 years had passed when Harry and Dumbledore sought to retrieve the horcrux in the late 1990s. Subsequently, this suggests the human corpses that were turned into inferi died over 50 years prior. The cleanliness of the lake water would make the stench harder to bear. While under the assumption that inferi don’t really decay, hundreds of dead bodies that have been sitting under a lake for over 50 years only helped to contaminate the smell and water.
I’m glad Dumbledore ended up not having to drink that water.
2. ‘Jurassic Park’ (1993)
Larger than life pre-historic creatures are the subject of Jurassic Park, and in specifically one scene, a huge dino-turd fills the screen.
While Jurassic Park was recently re-released in 3D, fortunately it wasn’t re-released in 4D – because the scene where Dr. Ellie Sattler sticks her hand into a dino-dropping would be a scent our nostrils would never forget. The smell this dropping would produce would be equivalent to it’s gargantuan size and probably make at least half the theater re-regurgitate the popcorn and candy that they’ve been consuming.
However, examining feces is an important aspect of determining a sickness for any creature – which is exactly the reason why Ellie willingly dives her hand into the sick triceratops’ feces (which is why us Hypable writers are pursuing journalism rather than biology). Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to determine the cause of sickness by doing so, and what Jurassic Park didn’t mention is that her hand/lower arm probably smelled like twenty porta potties put together for the rest of the film. She probably wasn’t gaining any points (at least, hygienically) on her quest of winning Alan’s heart.
Luckily, Jurassic Park hasn’t been converted to 4D (yet?) so we can spare our nostrils from experiencing one of the worst smells in any film.
1. ‘Slumdog Millionare’ (2008)
Although most of Slumdog Millionare would be smelly because it’s set mainly in Indian slums, there’s one scene in particular that would scorn the 4D movie-goer’s schnozzle: the outhouse scene.
The first flashback Slumdog Millionare takes the viewer through is of five-year old Jamal obtaining the autograph of Bollywood star Amitabh Bachchan. While answering Mother Nature, a neighbor came banging on the door, demanding to use the outhouse due to an intense emergency. When Jamal refused to come out of the outhouse, Amitabh Bachchan landed via helicopter on the streets nearby – and the entire village went to go see him. Hoewver, as the outhouse caretaker was standing next to the outhouse as well, thought it would be hilarious to lock him in, and then run off to see the handsome movie star.
Therefore, with Jamal locked in the outhouse, and dying to see Bachchan to receive his autograph, he makes the quick decision to plop (pun intended) into the mountain of human ordure. But, the ends did justify the means, as Jamal did end up getting the autograph – although it took jumping into a pile of who knows how many humans’ excrements to do so.
I don’t even want to think about how long the droppings had been sitting there – most likely quite awhile, which would make the scent even more rancid than it probably already was.
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