2:00 pm EDT, March 10, 2015

Unbreakable and super quotable ‘Kimmy Schmidt’: The show’s best moments

By dannyolepirt | Edited by Donya Abramo

This weekend saw the release of the newest Netflix series Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and the show turned out to be fantastic.

Created by Tina Fey and Robert Carlock, this series follows Kimmy Schmidt (played by Ellie Kemper, best known for playing Erin the receptionist in the later years of The Office), a young woman starting her life over in New York City after being locked up in a bunker for 15 years.

In addition to Kemper, the show stars Tituss Burgess as Titus Andromedon, Kimmy’s flamboyant new roommate, Carol Kane as Lillian, Kimmy’s landlord, and Jane Krakowski as Jacqueline Voorhees, a rich socialite and mother who takes on Kimmy as a nanny for her son, Buckley.

The cast of characters brings this show to life. Kemper is perfect for the role of Kimmy, optimistic and naive. Her initial exploits are reminiscent of Buddy the Elf first discovering the wonders of New York City in the holiday classic Elf. Her optimistic outlook makes her a foil for the rest of the characters, downtrodden and disillusioned by their lives.

The comedy is upbeat, full of heart, and has one of the catchiest theme songs around. It is also very funny. The pilot episode alone is chock full of hilarious one-liners and well placed cultural references. Here are some of the best quotes from the first episode of the series:

The best ‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ quotes

Kimmy (sees Buckley, wearing a full suit, stealing a candy bar from a street vendor): Hey! I saw you steal this! Where is your grown-up? Are you alone? Or are you some kind of tiny businessman, sir?

Buckley (running away): STRANGER DANGER!

Article Continues Below

Kimmy: I’m not stranger danger. I’m a stranger danger ranger!


Lillian: Titus is a very very sweet boy. A little crusty on the outside, but a soft heart, like a wonderful French roll, but black. It’s gonna be wonderful for him to have a roommate because he’s very isolated, but so talented, but disillusioned, but a genius and he’s single, but very gay and he doesn’t know I placed the ad.

Kimmy (to a candy store employee): Hi, I’m Kimmy. I’m a big fan of your products, particularly the shark gummies, which I hadn’t seen elsewhere. And I’m interested in any employment opportunities that you might have.

Jacqueline: You’ll need to get here by 6:00 every morning to wake Buckley up for school, then get me up at 10:00, but don’t wake me up.

Jacqueline: This is Charles. He’s a tutor. He’ll help you do Buckley’s homework. Also, it’s Buckley’s birthday tomorrow so you’ll need to make a cake that’s cute but also paleo.


Kimmy: What in the ham sandwich? I just got a job!

Charles: Please tell me that you’re normal. I need someone here to talk to.

Kimmy: Oh, I’m very normal. I’ve had everything normal happen to me.

Titus: You got a secret.

Kimmy: What?

Titus: You moved to New York City today with a bag full of cash, no stuff, and what is clearly a wig. Somebody in here got beans. Spill them.

Kimmy: Okay. Well, the truth is, I’m from Indiana—

Titus: Oh, okay. That explains why you’re so basic. Say no more.

Kimmy: So what do you want to do tonight?

Titus: Honestly? Listen to Diana Ross albums alone while I do my stretches to alleviate my gas.

Kimmy: We should go out, to celebrate! I mean, I got a job today. I got an apartment. I met you.

Titus: I envy you. I’ve never been able to meet me.

Kimmy: Come on, we should go dancing someplace cool, like Club Bombay from Moesha.

Titus: Whoo! Things are behind in Indiana.


Girl at club: Hey! Do you want to party with us? Are you into molly?

Kimmy: Am I? She’s my favorite American Girl doll.

Kimmy: I’m so sorry! I was up all night. All my money got stolen, and I haven’t had a clock since my Tamagotchi died.

Jacqueline: Uh-uh, this is strike three.

Kimmy: What were strikes one and two? Has baseball changed?

Kimmy: I can’t do this, Reverend Richard was right!

Titus: Wait, who?

Kimmy: Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne, senior prophet and CFO of Savior Rick’s Spooky Church of the Scary Apocalypse.

Titus: Foo?

Kimmy: I am one of the Indiana Mole Women.

Titus: From the news? Why didn’t you tell me?

Kimmy: Because I just want to be a normal person, and I can’t. I don’t know anything. I can’t tell phones from cameras. Even policemen have tattoos!

Kimmy: We are going to pay the rent, I’m gonna get my job back, and I’m going to kiss a boy. And you are going to sing at the Grammys with Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson.

Titus: Bad examples, but yes!

The first season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is now available for streaming on Netflix.

What are your favorite ‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ quotes?

We want to hear your thoughts on this topic!
Why not write a comment below or submit an article to Hypable.

Introducing the Hypable app

Free for iOS and Android