2:00 pm EDT, September 10, 2019

34 ‘The Good Place’ quotes to soothe your soul here in the Bad Place

The Good Place quotes are always hilarious! Prepare for The Good Place season 4 with a collection of the best quotes from the first three seasons.

Disguised as a hilarious comedy, The Good Place is in fact uncommonly profound, packed with clever observations about the human condition and cutting jokes ranging from the existential nature of frozen yogurt to the existential nature of, well, us.

And now, with season 4, it’s coming to an end. We now officially dub this… The Sad Place.

But to celebrate everything about The Good Place, we have collected the 34 best The Good Place quotes from Michael, Janet, Chidi and the rest that perfectly sum up life, the universe and everything.

Look no further for the best pieces of life advice, clever observations, and less clever observations from The Good Place seasons 1, 2, and 3!

The 34 best ‘Good Place’ quotes

‘It’s not about who you know. Enlightenment comes from within. The Dalai Llama texted me that.’ – Tahani Al-Jamil, ‘The Good Place’ 3×01

the good place season 3 quotes

Sure, Tahani’s propensity for name-carpet-bombing might not be all that relatable… but it’s still good advice!

‘Sometimes, when you’re feeling helpless, the secret is to help someone else. Get out of your own head. Trust me. The next time someone asks for help, say yes.’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 3×01

the good place season 3 quotes

It’s easy to get lost in our own problems, but Michael reminds Jason — and the rest of us — that acting selflessly is often the key to helping ourselves. It’s a pretty keen observation from a recovering demon!

‘I will go physically pick those up, I guess, and then walk them back here with my feet.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 3×02

the good place season 3 quotes

Janet is adjusting to existence without her powers on Earth, but even us puny humans can learn from this. Sometimes, you gotta do the thing to do the thing, people!

‘Eleanor farted, and then she blamed it on her chair. That’s gonna cost her at least a few points.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 3×03


‘Our fates are sealed. But I think we have one move left: We can try.’ – Eleanor Shellstrop, ‘The Good Place’ 3×04

the good place season 3 quotes

Here, Eleanor reveals one of the simplest and most powerful truths of The Good Place. Even when the odds seem stacked against you, even when you’re locked out of the Good Place for eternity, there is value in trying to do good. It doesn’t matter if anyone is keeping score, or even if you succeed; positive efforts and a positive attitude are valuable of themselves.

‘Ya basic. And that’s okay.’ – Eleanor Shellstrop, ‘The Good Place’ 3×06

the good place season 3 quotes

Yeah, maybe you wear yoga pants all the time. Sure, maybe your only drink is white-mom Chardonnay. And maybe your life looks different from what you thought was cool, powerful, or world-changing a few years ago. That doesn’t matter! Be yourself. Be basic as fork! There’s no shame at all in enjoying the things that make you happy.

‘I tried to script your whole afterlife. And I devised a million-point plan to torture you. You made choices I never saw coming. I call that free will.’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 3×07

the good place season 3 quotes

You probably don’t have your own personal torture demon, but some days, it can definitely feel like it. As Michael tells Eleanor, we can still make incredible choices — no matter how much the world seems to be trying to keep us down.

‘There is some good news. There’s some cake left!’ – Neil from Accounting, ‘The Good Place’ 3×09

the good place season 3 quotes

If you tell me you don’t want to hear those words, I’m sorry but you’re lying. If anything can turn the Medium Place into the Good Place, it’s cake.

‘We have no plan. No one’s coming to save us. So… I’m going to do it.’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 3×09

the good place season 3 quotes

Michael taking matters into his own hands — first seeking out Accountants, then the Good Place, and then the Judge Herself — is pretty darned inspiring. We can’t always rely on finding answers or help from others. Sometimes, it’s just down to you. And if even a once-nihilistic demon like Michael can take on the entire whole points system for the sake of all humanity, well… what can’t YOU do?

‘We’re refugees. What kind of messed up place would turn away refugees?’ – Jason Mendoza, ‘The Good Place’ 3×10

Yeah, I mean, apropos of nothing, that’s a really good question. Don’t turn away refugees. Why would you even do that?

‘I guess ‘try and enjoy this’ is a better plan than ‘have the anxiety sweats.’’ – Eleanor Shellstrop, ‘The Good Place’ 3×10

Anxiety sucks, and it’s not exactly the kind of thing you can talk yourself out of. (Visit https://www.crisistextline.org/anxiety if you need help!) But sometimes, it can help to keep the here and now in mind, instead of getting lost in the future. And after all…

‘Here’s an idea. What if we don’t worry about whatever comes next?’ – Chidi Anagonye, ‘The Good Place’ 3×10

the good place season 3 quotes

…If Mr. Anxiety himself can give it a try, so can we. Live in the moment, people!

‘Time means nothing. Jeremy Bearimy, baby. We’ll just get through this. And then you and I can chill out in the dot of the I forever.’ – Chidi Anagonye, ‘The Good Place’ 3×12

the good place season 3 quotes

First of all, mega “aww!” for Eleanor and Chidi’s tangled love story. But this quote is also touchingly full of hope, even as Chidi prepares to say goodbye to Eleanor and his memories. Yes, the universe and the timeline may throw curveballs in your way. You may be farther than you think from your goals or the one you love. But at the end of the day, we’ll all get through it — and all of those things that seemed so incomprehensible and scary will be the reward at the end of the journey.

‘If there were an answer I could give you to how the universe works, it wouldn’t be special. It would just be machinery fulfilling its cosmic design. It would just be a big, dumb food processor. But since nothing seems to make sense, when you find something or someone that does, it’s euphoria.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 3×12

There really isn’t anything to say about these gorgeous words, but… wow. It’s the struggle that makes the victory, guys. Thanks, Janet. *blows nose*

the good place season 3 quotes

‘I guess all I can do is embrace the pandemonium, find happiness in the unique insanity of being here, now.’ – Eleanor Shellstrop, ‘The Good Place’ 3×12

You said it, Eleanor.

‘In case you were wondering, I am, by definition, the best version of myself.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 2×09

The Good Place quotes

While you should always seek to improve your already fabulous self, this confidence-booster from Janet (D’Arcy Carden) is worth repeating to yourself every once in a while.

‘Principles aren’t principles when you pick and choose when you’re gonna follow them.’ – Chidi Anagonye, ‘The Good Place’ 2×11

Chidi (William Jackson Harper) says a lot of smart things, occasionally a little too smart for comfort.

‘The point is, you’re cool, dope, fresh, and smart-brained. I’ve never seen you dance, but I bet you’re good, cause you’re good at everything. You’re awesome! Be nicer to yourself.’ – Jason Mendoza, ‘The Good Place’ 2×04

Jason (Manny Jacinto) might not seem, act or — let’s be honest — be as smart as Chidi, but that does not mean he isn’t wise and, more importantly, kind.

‘Hi, guys! I’m broken.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 2×06

The Good Place quotes

Honestly? Probably the most relatable thing anyone on The Good Place has ever said.

‘I would say I outdid myself, but I’m always this good. So I simply did myself.’ – Tahani Al-Jamil, ‘The Good Place’ 2×05

We know now that Tahani (Jameela Jamil)’s confidence is partly an act, but she really does believe herself to be fabulous. We could all stand to be a bit more like Tahani.

‘It’s a rare occurrence, like a double rainbow. Or like someone on the internet saying, You know what? You’ve convinced me I was wrong.’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 2×01

Haaaaaaaa haha. Yep.

‘I have no idea what’s going on right now but everyone else is talking and I think I should too!’ – Jason Mendoza, ‘The Good Place’ 2×03

Also, incidentally, relevant when talking about the state of the internet.

‘Why do bad things always happen to mediocre people who are lying about their identities?’ – Eleanor Shellstrop, ‘The Good Place’ 1×07

Eleanor (Kristen Bell)’s statement here is ironic, but also true. It’s almost like being a terrible person isn’t worth it.

‘Any place or thing in the universe can be up to 104% perfect. That’s how you got Beyoncé. – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 1×04

I mean, who can argue with that one?

‘I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone.’ – Chidi Anagonye, ‘The Good Place’ 2×13

Chidi delivers yet another profound line here about just how the quest for goodness at the heart of The Good Place comes into being.

”Fair’ is the stupidest word humans ever invented, except for staycation.’ – Shawn, ‘The Good Place’ 2×11

While we all like to believe that fairness is a universal and earned value, Shawn (Marc Evan Jackson) sees through the bullshit. ‘Fair’ is a construct that we all have to fight to maintain.

‘I can’t believe Michael betrayed us again, why is it always the ones you most expect?’ – Jason, ‘The Good Place’ 2×08

Jason isn’t wrong. It’s amazing how much we keep going back to people who have hurt or betrayed us in the past, convincing ourselves that this time will be different.

‘Lies are always more convincing when they’re closer to the truth.’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 2×03

As much as we like to believe otherwise, it has been scientifically proven that everybody lies. Constant vigilance!

‘If this isn’t a test, then it’s something way worse: A choice! That we have to make!’ – Chidi Anagonye, ‘The Good Place’ 2×12

We are all Chidi when it comes to having to make choices. Choices are the worst.

‘Now we’re going to do the most human thing of all: attempt something futile with a ton of unearned confidence and fail spectacularly!’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 2×10

Pretty much the human experience summed up in a sentence, tbh.

‘You know, sometimes a flaw can make something even more beautiful. Like with Cindy Crawford and how short she is.’ – Tahani Al-Jamil, ‘The Good Place’ 1×02

Well… half of that quote was very profound, anyway.

‘Searching for meaning is philosophical suicide. How does anyone do anything when you understand the fleeting nature of existence?’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 2×04

Michael might be hitting on a hard truth about human existence and the lies we tell ourselves, but to borrow a quote from another great show about life and death and everything in between, the aptly titled Angel: “If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.”

‘It turns out the best Janet was the Janet that was inside Janet all along.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 1×03

Once again, Janet delivers a fantastic quote about self-confidence and believing in yourself. Especially when you are not-a-robot.

‘Pobody’s nerfect.’ – Eleanor Shellstrop, ‘The Good Place’ 1×11

The Good Place quote pobody's nerfect

Last but certainly not least, let us all take a moment and marvel at the simple wisdom of Eleanor Shellstrop, whose immortal words “pobody’s nerfect” may remind us that, indeed… we’re all definitely going to the Bad Place.

Last updated with The Good Place season 3 quotes August 2019

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