Oh my god oh my god! Don’t be a mouthbreathing wastoid with a stick up your butt. Check out the best Stranger Things quotes from seasons 1, 2, and 3! It won’t take 10 hours to read, either.
Calling all Thumper fans and not-morning people! Grab a coffee, sit back, and reminisce over the best Stranger Things quotes from season 1, season 2, and season 3, which arrived Summer 2019. You’ll love it, and not just because I told you to.
‘Stranger Things’ season 1 quotes
- Dustin: Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god.
– Chapter One - Mike: I just didn’t want you to think I was such a wastoid, you know?
Eleven: Mike?
Mike: Yeah?
Eleven: I understand.
– Chapter Three - Jonathan: You shouldn’t like things just because people tell you you’re supposed to.
– Chapter Two - Lucas: She helped just enough so she could get what she wants: food and a bed. She’s like a stray dog.
– Chapter Five - Joyce: I don’t care if anyone believes me. I am not gonna stop looking for him until I find him and bring him home! I am going to bring him home!
– Chapter Four - Dustin: Mike! I found the chocolate pudding!
– Chapter Eight - Dustin: You’re going to take out the demigorgon with a slingshot?
Lucas: First of all, it’s a wrist-rocket.
– Chapter Three - Hopper: Mornings are for coffee and contemplation.
– Chapter One - Jonathan: Your mom doesn’t knock?
– Chapter Six - Dustin: Can’t have more than one best friend.
Mike: Says who?
Dustin: Says logic.
Mike: Well, I call bull on your logic, because you’re my best friend too.
– Chapter Six - Mike: My mom, she’s a pretty awesome cook. She can make you whatever you like.
Eleven: Eggos?
– Chapter Eight - Jonathan: Don’t take it so personally, okay? I don’t like most people. He’s in the vast majority.
– Chapter Five - Mike: The campaign took 2 weeks to plan! How was I supposed to know it was going to take 10 hours?
Karen: You’ve been playing for 10 hours?
– Chapter One - Joyce: This is not yours to fix alone. You act like you’re all alone out there in the world, but you’re not. You’re not alone.
– Chapter Seven - Dustin: Why do we even need weapons anyway. We have her.
Lucas: She shut one door!
Dustin: With her mind!
– Chapter Three - Lucas: We’re going back to Plan A. We’re telling your mom.
Eleven: No.
– Chapter Two - Hopper: Have you ever heard of Mirkwood?
Callahan: I have not, that sounds made up to me.
Lucas: No, it’s from Lord of the Rings.
Dustin: The Hobbit.
Lucas: It doesn’t matter!
Dustin: He asked!
– Chapter One - Florence: Only love makes you that crazy, sweetheart, and that damn stupid.
– Chapter Six - Jonathan: My dad took me hunting on my birthday. Made me kill a rabbit.
Nancy: A rabbit?
Jonathan: Yeah. I guess he thought it would make me into more of a man, or something. I cried for a week.
Nancy: Jesus.
Jonathan: What? I’m a fan of Thumper.
– Chapter Five - Ted: My God, is she Russian?
– Chapter Seven - Joyce: He’s a sensitive kid. Lonnie used to say he was queer. Called him a fag.
Hopper: Is he?
Joyce: He’s missing, is what he is!
– Chapter One - Lucas: Why would the Chief set us up? Nancy, maybe. But the Chief?
Dustin: Lando Calrissian!
Lucas: Would you shut up about Lando!
Dustin: I don’t feel good about this. I don’t feel good about this!
Lucas: When do you feel good about anything?
– Chapter Seven - Joyce: Well, I don’t know who’s been raising you, but I’m going to get you some new crayons because it looks like he’s shooting cabbages.
– Chapter Five - Marissa: You could’ve at least called, said, “Marissa, hey, it’s not gonna work out. Sorry I wasted your time. I’m a dick”
Hopper: …Yep.
– Chapter Three - Dustin: There’s something wrong with your sister.
Mike: What are you talking about?
Dustin: She’s got a stick up her butt.
– Chapter One - Eleven: Mouthbreather.
– Chapter Six - Mike: You don’t need it.
Eleven: Still pretty?
Mike: Yeah! Pretty! Really pretty.
– Chapter Seven - Joyce: I need this phone, and two weeks’ advance.
And a pack of Camels.
– Chapter Two - Hopper: You were right. This whole time you were right.
– Chapter Five - Dustin: Accident or not, admit it, it was a little awesome.
Lucas: Awesome?
Dustin: She threw you in the air with her mind!
Lucas: I could have been killed!
– Chapter Six - Steve: What the hell was that?!
Jonathan/Nancy: Shut up!
– Chapter Eight - Dustin: Do you know anything about sensory deprivation tanks? Specifically how to build one?
Mr. Clarke: Sensory deprivation- What is this for?
Dustin: …Fun…
– Chapter Seven - Jonathan: Sometimes people don’t really say what they’re really thinking. But you capture the right moment, it says more.
– Chapter Four - Barb: He just wants to get in your pants.
– Chapter Two - Joyce: Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m out of my mind! But God help me, I will keep these lights up until the day I die if I think there’s a chance that Will’s still out there!
– Chapter Five
Related: Stranger Things 2: The Best Mom Award goes to Steve Harrington
Related: What your favorite Stranger Things character says about you
‘Stranger Things’ season 2 quotes
- Dustin: I am on a curiosity voyage, and I need my paddles to travel. These books…these books are my paddles.
– Chapter 3 - Billy: Am I dreaming, or is that you, Harrington?
Steve: Yeah, it’s me. Don’t cream your pants.
– Chapter 9 - Bob: What’s at the X? Pirate treasure?
– Chapter 5 - Nancy: You know, out of all of my brother’s friends, you’re my favorite. You’ve always been my favorite.
– Chapter 9 - Hopper: I heard that story. Did you hear the one about the fat man with the beard who climbs down chimneys?
– Chapter 1 - Steve: How do you know it’s not just a lizard?
Dustin: Because his face opened up and he ate my cat!
– Chapter 6 - Eleven: Bitchin’.
– Chapter 7 - Billy: You smell that, Max? That’s actually shit. Cow shit.
Max: I don’t see any cows.
Billy: Clearly you haven’t met the high school girls.
– Chapter 2 - Jonathan: Do you wanna be normal? Do you wanna be just like everyone else? Being a freak is the best. I’m a freak!
Will: Is that why you don’t have any friends?
– Chapter 1 - Steve: Use the shampoo and conditioner and when your hair’s damp, not wet, okay? When it’s damp, you do four puffs of the Farrah Fawcett spray.
Dustin: Farrah Fawcett spray?
Steve: Yeah, Farrah Fawcett. You tell anyone I just told you that and your ass is grass.
– Chapter 6 - Jonathan: You sure this is a good idea?
Joyce: This thing has had Will long enough. Let’s kill the son of a bitch.
– Chapter 9 - Dustin: Son of a bitch. You know, you’re really no help at all, you know that?
– Chapter 5 - Dr. Owens: Sir Will, how are you? Mom. Pop.
– Chapter 1 - Steve: You’re gonna slay ’em dead.
Dustin: Like a lion. *purrs*
Steve: Don’t do that, okay?
– Chapter 9 - Erica: You are such a nerd.
Lucas: Shut up.
Erica: No wonder you only hang out with boys.
Mrs. Sinclair: Erica!
Erica: Just the facts. *mouthing* Nerd.
– Chapter 2 - Steve: Hey! Dickheads! How come the only one helping me out is this random girl?
– Chapter 6 - Hopper: Oh my god, none of this is real. This is a kid’s game.
Dustin: It’s a manual.
– Chapter 8 - Guy: Watch it, kid.
Eleven: Mouth breather.
– Chapter 7 - Bob: Bob Newby, superhero.
– Chapter 6 - Dustin: Uhhh!
Mrs. Henderson: Uhhhh!
– Chapter 1 - Mike: I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.
– Chapter 8 - Lucas: Dad? When Mom’s mad at you, how do you make her not mad?
Mr. Sinclair: First, I apologize. Then I get your mother whatever she wants.
Lucas: Even when she’s wrong?
Mr. Sinclair: She’s never wrong, son.
– Chapter 5 - Dustin: She will not be able to resist these pearls. *Purrs*
– Chapter 1 - Murray: So, Jonathan, how was the pull-out?
– Chapter 6 - Hopper: Just curious why all of a sudden you look like some MTV punk.
– Chapter 9 - Kali: There’s nothing for you back there. They cannot save you, Jane.
Eleven: No. But I can save them.
– Chapter 7 - Mike: If we’re both going crazy, then we’ll go crazy together, right?
Will: Yeah. Crazy together.
– Chapter 2 - Lucas: You’re nothing like your brother, okay? You’re cool, and different. You’re super smart. And you’re, like, totally tubular.
– Chapter 6 - Dustin: It believes it’s the master race.
Steve: Like the Germans?
Dustin: The Nazis?
Steve: Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Nazis.
– Chapter 8 - Will: He likes it cold.
– Chapter 4 - Nancy: Excuse me, I’ll be right back.
Steve: …It’s finger-lickin’ good.
– Chapter 1 - Joyce: Will? What are you doing?
Will: Peeing?
– Chapter 2 - Hopper: I don’t want you to get hurt at all. And I don’t wanna lose you. Just make sure you heat up some real food. Not just Eggos.
– Chapter 6 - Max: Hey guys, why are you headed towards the sound?
– Chapter 8
‘Stranger Things’ season 3 quotes
-
Erica: Yeah! Watch it, nerd!
Lucas: Isn’t it past your bedtime?
Erica: Isn’t time you died?
– Chapter One -
Hopper: I need for them to break up.
– Chapter One -
Hopper: Maybe I’ll just kill Mike. I’m the chief of police, I could cover it up.
– Chapter One -
Robin: How many children are you friends with?
– Chapter Two -
Max: There’s more to life than stupid boys, you know.
– Chapter Two -
Dustin: Now that you’re out of high school, which means you’re technically an adult, don’t you think it’s time you move on from primitive constructs such as popularity?
– Chapter Three -
Erica: You know what this half-baked plan of yours sounds like to me? Child endangerment.
– Chapter Four -
Erica: You can’t spell “America” without “Erica.”
– Chapter Four -
Joyce: We have had a very long day. We have been shot at, nearly blown up, walked God knows how many miles in a hundred degree heat, stole a car, all while being chased by this gigantic psychopath, all so we could bring him to you. Because somehow, you’re the closest person who speaks Russian, which I can’t believe. But that doesn’t matter because, unfortunately, we’re here. So, if you don’t mind, put that thing away, stop behaving like a jackass, and ask him what he’s doing that’s making my magnets fall off my damn fridge! Please.
– Chapter Five -
Mike: How do you even drink that?
Lucas: Because it’s delicious.
Mike/Max: What?
Lucas: It’s like Carpenter’s The Thing. The original is a classic, no question about it. But the remake… Sweeter, bolder, better.
– Chapter Seven -
Hopper: If you don’t mind, for the sake of your poor old dad, keep the door open three inches.
– Chapter Eight
What’s your favorite ‘Stranger Things’ quote?
Share ’em in the comments!