From Emo Kylo Ren to the upper half of Snoke’s body, these Star Wars Twitter accounts are guaranteed to entertain you until Episode IX.
The release of The Force Awakens two years ago prompted a swift revival of Star Wars parody accounts. Activity naturally decreased over time, but with The Last Jedi, some amazing accounts have popped up, and old accounts have found energy again. Here are the best Star Wars Twitter accounts you should be following.
Lots of spoilers below, of course.
Emo Kylo Ren – @KyloR3n
Probably the most well-known of Star Wars accounts right now, and self-proclaimed “ren’s rights activist,” Emo Kylo Ren has returned after a period of pre-Last Jedi sporadic tweeting with a new outlook on life – namely, that he’s kinda sorta in love with Rey. A lot of angsty, irritable, poorly-veiled pining ensues.
dear diary
i stood around all day shirtless and covered in oil in case i got an unexpected call but unfortunately i didn’t— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 19, 2017
*rises from couch with blanket wrapped around his shoulders*
*dramatically throws off blanket*— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) January 2, 2018
more
mORE
*as he furiously squirts ketchup onto his fries*
MORE— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) January 4, 2018
Very Lonely Luke – @VeryLonelyLuke
What did Luke do during all those years on Ach To, drinking green milk and feeling bitter about everything? Without the Force to entertain him, he’s turned to Twitter, apparently. He seems to have mixed feelings. “I’m a hermit on a water planet. I don’t need people. Please don’t leave me.”
You can't just show up here and expect to stay in one of my huts.
You have to make a reservation on Airbnb.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) December 21, 2017
Did you ever stop to think maybe I LIKE being alone?
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 4, 2018
My dad never shows up here, even though he could.
He ghosted me.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) December 29, 2017
The Caretakers – @JediCaretakers
If only Luke knew that he’s not alone on Ach-To. The caretakers are also pretty active on Twitter. They mostly use it to complain about damage done to the Jedi Temple, but they also share recipes once in a while.
Tell ur girlfriend to stop destroying our island
— The Caretakers (@JediCaretakers) December 20, 2017
Book of Island Records year 3,334:
Today we had our usual mandatory island meeting
We mostly discussed noise issues in the living areaSome people
like to force skype really loudly— The Caretakers (@JediCaretakers) December 24, 2017
Island Recipes:
Porg StewIngredients
-7 cups water, divided
-2 tablespoons fish spice
-8 leaves
-4 spades of grass, crushed
-1/2 cup sea salt
-1 1/2 cups (2-inch-thick) slices Island veggiesBring to boil then let simmer.
Chop up cooked porg and add to mix
–
An island favorite— The Caretakers (@JediCaretakers) January 2, 2018
Crait’s Crystal Foxos – @crystalfoxos
The crystal critters of Crait have taken to sharing their occasionally very confusing thoughts with the rest of the galaxy. “The connection speed stinks here, so we all share an account.”
*Tries #KyloRenChallenge *
Foxo look like walking pincushion— Crait's Crystal Foxos (@crystalfoxos) January 3, 2018
Today foxos have agreed that planet needs less crystal everything.
Bit own tail thinking it food again.— Crait's Crystal Foxos (@crystalfoxos) December 24, 2017
Foxos only led way out so smelly people would leave
— Crait's Crystal Foxos (@crystalfoxos) January 3, 2018
Death Star PR – @DeathStarPR
An old-timer account from before the days of the Star Wars revival, Death Star PR is still active… and currently feeling a bit, erm, relevant. “The Galactic Empire has been getting a bad rap,” they claim. “We’re here to set the record straight.”
The destruction of Alderaan is MORE FAKE NEWS. Where's the proof it ever existed?
— Death Star PR (@DeathStarPR) December 3, 2017
All I'm saying is Alderaan COULD have spontaneously combusted.
You don't know, you weren't there.
— Death Star PR (@DeathStarPR) January 13, 2014
Sorry, but if we're going to start measuring the size of people's nuclear buttons, ours is definitely the biggest and most powerful.
— Death Star PR (@DeathStarPR) January 3, 2018
Rey Nobody – @rey_nobody
In an attempt to deal with newfound revelations about her parentage, Rey has taken to Twitter to deal with her identity crisis. And everything that just happened with Kylo Ren.
Some of us don't really have much of a past to let die, Ben.
— Rey Nobody (@rey_nobody) December 28, 2017
I just think the youths these days could be made more aware of the potential risks that come from gloveless hand holding.
— Rey Nobody (@rey_nobody) January 3, 2018
Is it normal to hear breathing over you when you are trying to sleep, but then you roll over to see who it is and nobody is there?
— Rey Nobody (@rey_nobody) January 3, 2018
BB-8 – @BB8
The most adorable droid in the galaxy is also on Twitter! And of course his account is the most wholesome one in the entire site. If you want to occasionally have your day brightened by his beeping, you should follow BB-8.
*Happy New Years Beep*
— BB8 (@BB8) January 1, 2018
*boop*
— BB8 (@BB8) December 29, 2017
*happy beep*
— BB8 (@BB8) December 27, 2017
Arrogant BB-8 – @ArrogantBB8
That’s not to say that BB-8 doesn’t have a dark side. If you want to get a glimpse of the darker side of the droid, maybe you should follow his other account, where BB-8 tells all.
*is curvy in all the right places*
— Arrogant BB8 (@ArrogantBB8) December 22, 2017
*so smooth he's a sphere*
— Arrogant BB8 (@ArrogantBB8) June 11, 2017
*is still a little weirded out that Poe scratched his belly*
— Arrogant BB8 (@ArrogantBB8) December 27, 2017
Snoke’s Upper Half – @snokestophalf
Snoke may have been killed, but not all of him is dead. As he says, “Still alive, but not kicking.” Bereft of legs, Snoke’s upper half is still Tweeting.
Some say I am half the man I used to be, but today I really pulled myself together.
— Snoke’s Upper Half (@snokestophalf) December 30, 2017
My least favorite part of all these sporting events is halftime.
— Snoke’s Upper Half (@snokestophalf) January 2, 2018
Went to the galactic mall today for the after Life day sales. The sales clerk couldn’t stop laughing when I asked if everything was half off
— Snoke’s Upper Half (@snokestophalf) December 31, 2017
Bad Father Han – @BadFatherHan
Claiming that his son Ben “is fifty shades of disappointing,” Han Solo has returned from the dead to make his mark on Twitter — and occasionally harass Emo Kylo Ren for being so… well, emo.
Your name is BEN. We named the dog "Kylo."
— Bad Father Han Solo (@BadFatherHan) December 26, 2015
Put a shirt on, Ben. https://t.co/urVWP3rBJI
— Bad Father Han Solo (@BadFatherHan) January 3, 2018
I don’t need a new year. I need a new son.
— Bad Father Han Solo (@BadFatherHan) January 1, 2018
Sand – @DeathlySand
Okay, so they’ve tweeted only 4 times, but you have to admit it’s funny that this account exists. Its bio is “I like to think that not everyone hates me,” and location is “Mostly beaches and deserts.” Sand deserves more followers.
So today someone turned me into a snow man, except I was made of sand so… sand man? It was fun, but they didn’t know me down so now I’m slowly falling apart.
— sand (@DeathlySand) January 1, 2018
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