Double the dances! Double the eliminations! Double the usual amount of redemption storylines per week! It’s Icons Night on DWTS.
The theme of Icons (dancing to songs by iconic singers) was far less intrusive than usual, as the show had to get through the individual round (where almost everyone redeemed themselves somehow) and the Team Dances, not to mention an exceedingly rushed double elimination.
The couples eliminated are Von & Witney and Kim & Sasha. The former is good news — we’ve winnowed out two football players, with only one left. We had hopes that we could be shot of both footballers this week, but that was asking too much, and at least we get another week of Sharna. The latter is not good news, even if it was a tad expected — Kim was probably the weakest of the non-footballer dancers left, but she had more personality than most of them combined. We loved her partnership with Sasha, and really hope to see him back as a pro again. He was eliminated in the same place as he was with Snooki (eighth place in Season 17). Witney had her worst finish since her first season, when she placed ninth with Cody Simpson.
Von’s last solo dance was the most mellow salsa we’ve ever seen, themed around Elvis. There were some incredible acrobatic lifts (which Bruno recognized as poses from the kama sutra), but whenever Witney was on the ground the energy disappeared. The judges gave them all eights.
Kim’s last dance, on the other hand, was full of energy — the judges claimed it was her best dance. We disagree, but okay. Kim did a samba that had good footwork and hip movement, but we didn’t see much bounce. Kim was pissed she hadn’t gotten nines last week, so she got all nines this week, meaning she got to go out on a high note!
The last half hour was devoted to the Team Dances (our favorite!), with the additional twist of it being a Battle of the Sexes. And wow, a gender studies class could have an absolute field day with this episode. The girls declared, “You’re about to see four women who want it way more than the men do!” So how did that determination pan out?
The four men, who have no reason to be confident given their members’ lack of skill, lack of hearing, and lack of attendance, spend their rehearsal getting their James Brown on while the pros choreograph. The four women, two of whom got the season’s first perfect scores later on, worried extensively about how to make themselves useful, and finally decided to concern themselves with the outfits. As for the performances themselves: the boys coasted by with a half-assed routine (the football players mostly jumped over their partners) and got 28. The girls were penalized for attempting an ambitious routine (they lost sync occasionally) and got 25. Who knew DWTS could serve as such an effective microcosm of society?
The most amazing thing about Team James Brown (the boys) was that Nyle managed to keep up with not one but seven dancers swirling around him. That’s overwhelming to anyone, and we keep being astounded by Nyle’s ability to take it in stride. Credit where it’s due — when the guys shifted time to be in sync with him, it was a great moment of teamwork.
Team Beyoncé (with choreography crafted by powerhouses Val and Mark dancing together) had a slightly disjointed start, but once they got going, it was awesome. It wasn’t just four couples dancing together; they really transformed into one big group. We’re Team Beyoncé all the way. Now, let’s welcome our stars!
First Place, 56 points (28+28): Nyle & Peta. Nyle is atoning for his sins of cockiness last week. But with a heaping helping of humble pie, Nyle turned it back around, delivering an elegant foxtrot. It was a rough week for the couple — Nyle suppressed his outgoing personality lest he “annoy people,” and then had to cut half of Peta’s dress away earlier that day. But he persevered, and reminded everyone of why he’s a favorite to win. Yet again, he fell victim to a scoring snafu when Bruno tried to give a 10 but had written down a nine.
Second Place (tie), 55 points (30+25): Ginger & Val. Val put a lot of pressure on Ginger to up her scores, before having a change of heart and becoming contrite for pushing her. The end result was a breathtakingly beautiful Viennese waltz that got the first perfect score of the season. The beginning of the dance was especially cool, with mirrors surrounding the duo to give the illusion of a ballroom full of elegantly twirling couples (which is about as gimmicky as Val ever gets).
Second Place (tie), 55 points (30+25): Paige & Mark. Paige got the season’s second perfect score seemingly just for the attempted difficulty of the routine. This was one of the fastest and most intense jives we’ve seen on the show, with Paige spinning like a dreidel half the time. Her kicks side-by-side with Mark seemed a hair out of sync to us, but that’s more than made up for by them cartwheeling on each other’s backs. Paige looked like she was barely keeping up, but she did make it through the routine.
Second Place (tie), 55 points (27+28): Wanya & Lindsay. Wanya came up against scheduling conflicts, as so many stars do, but he is committed enough to DWTS to try getting out of his Boys II Men commitments. We give him a 10 for prioritizing DWTS! He did a cool foxtrot with Lindsay that made good use of a set — her inside a house, him on the porch, before uniting at the doorway. Carrie Ann wanted to be more wowed by Wanya (though foxtrot does not lend itself to wowing).
Third Place, 52 points (24+28): Antonio & Sharna. Antonio actually received the lowest individual score, but was boosted by the team. His redemption arc was premature — it happened last week, leaving him with nothing going on this week as everyone else redeemed themselves. In the “Dance of Slytherin” (love you, Tom!) Antonio kept messing up, a fact highlighted by the close-ups of his shoddy footwork. The most interesting part of the segment was Sharna’s wardrobe malfunction. Tom had a little voice in his head telling him to look at the top of Sharna’s dress — same here! When he informed Sharna of needing to pull up her dress, she rightly demanded 10s for that. If only the audience vote was this week instead of next!
Last Place, 51 points (26+25): Jodie & Keo. If throwing Keo through a table didn’t work, what’s a girl gotta do to get some nines? Apparently, doing a Quickstep with no body contact, loss of sync, and a break in hold (ignored by judges) suffices these days. The only holdout was Carrie Ann, who was super into Jodie’s aura, but only awarded an eight. While Jodie is perfectly competent, and rightfully made it this far, Keo doesn’t push her enough to get her into the finals (or, if by some fluke she does get in, she won’t do very well).
Are you Team James Brown or Team Beyoncé? Are you sad to see Kim or Von go? And which of the commemorated icons is your favorite?
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