In classic Brooklyn Nine-Nine fashion, in season 3, episode 11, “Hostage Situation,” the detectives had to deal with the most outlandish people — themselves. The first episode back from the holiday break, “Hostage Situation” didn’t feel like a mid-season premiere. There was something about the dichotomy within the core group that felt off. Maybe it was their wholly self-contained stories — Holt, Rosa and Gina’s plot had nothing to do with Amy and Terry’s plot, which had absolutely zero to do with Jake and Boyle’s storyline. The episode felt more like a filler, something that could be put anywhere in the season. Despite all that, let’s break down what happened tonight.

Gina plays detective for a day

A perp walks into a precinct. Instead of asking for a lawyer, he asks to speak with Gina. Rosa and Holt are perplexed as anything at this request, but they relent. Turns out, the two went to high school together, even made out on the bus, and Gina didn’t remember a thing.

Amy attacks Terry — twice

Ah Amy. We never tire of your do-gooder, perfectionist attitude. Before a boxing training session, Amy asks Terry to write her a letter of recommendation to be a mentee in the S.A.M.S.A.M. program. Right after he accepts, they begin sparring and she knees him in the nose, breaking it and spewing blood everywhere. Later, as he’s writing the letter, she brings him tea that stings his nasal passages and burns him. 0-2, Amy.

She’s denied from the program, and blames Terry. When she confronts him, he shows her the very flattering letter he wrote her. Turns out, he submitted it to the wrong part of the organization — instead of the mentee application, he submitted it for her to be a mentor. Taken aback, Amy wonders why he’d assume he would do that. Terry is then exasperated, of course she should be a mentor!

In the end, he makes a phone call and gets her into the right program. It’ll be nice to (hopefully) see Amy take on more responsibility, something we know she’s more than capable of.

Boyle’s little swimmers are, uh, swimming the wrong way

On Brooklyn Nine-Nine, we’re used to the crazy plot lines, but this one felt pretty bizarre.

Boyle wants to have a baby with his girlfriend Genevieve. We cannot imagine this man becoming a father, but that is neither here nor there at this point. Years ago, when he was married to the terrible Eleanor (Kathryn Hahn) she forced him to get a vasectomy. Prior to doing so, he froze some of his sperm… which is now in her custody.

Charles desperately wants these samples back, and in order to retrieve them, he must do her bidding. Eleanor blackmails her ex-husband. She had attacked a 90-year-old priest who was sitting innocently on a bench, and he sued her. Surprise, surprise. Jake, the only sane one in this plot, points out that Charles cannot confront this man or threaten him because that is illegal.

Eleanor, in true crazy-pants fashion, does dump the sperm, thus ensuring Boyle cannot have biological children. But that won’t stop him from becoming a father! At the end of the episode, Charles and Genevieve are using Tinder for Sperm Donors (not a real app, but they were swiping right and left!) Let’s see where this goes by the season 3 finale.

What did you think of ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’ 3×11, ‘Hostage Situation’?

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