House of Cards season 2 is almost upon us, and we have the key to planning the ultimate premiere party.
It’s almost February 14, and we all know what that means. Forget chocolates and flowers, it’s time to get your closest friends together and watch a group of people tear each other apart. Remember, this is a show so good that it has been renewed for season 3, even before season 2 has premiered.
Related: House of Cards season 2 trailer: ‘Hunt or be hunted’
If you learnt anything from House of Cards season 1, you’ll know that it isn’t about what you’re doing, it’s about who you do it with (and who sees you doing it). Translation: the guest list is key. With that in mind, here is our ultimate guide to creating your House of Cards season 2 premiere party guest list.
House of Cards season 2 premieres on Netflix on February 14, 2014.
‘House of Cards’ guest list: Who’s in?
Or: The friend who watches C-SPAN voluntarily.
Although House of Cards does a brilliant job of explaining the world of Washington to the politically ignorant, it never hurts to have an insider around. This is the friend who spends all their time watching news, followed by more news, and then shows that satire the news (like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report). They can name all the Presidents. They even understand how Congress works.
Of course, after watching House of Cards season 1, we all hope that this political thriller is more on the side of fiction than non-fiction, but sometimes that background information is helpful. Alternately, if you can’t find a real life politics junkie, recruit the friend who connects every life situation back to The West Wing – it’s basically the same, right?
Or: The friend who wins the “what else have they been in” game. Every single time.
This friend makes it their business to know everyone else’s business, and House of Cards is no exception. They will know the name of every guest star. They will know the resume of every actor who has appeared on the show. They will know when House of Cards season 2 filmed, and every detail about the promised House of Cards season 3.
This friend is a wealth of information. Their presence will mean you never need to check your IMDb app to find a familiar acting face, and that any production questions you have will be immediately answered (during breaks, not interrupting the show). They might be more concerned with the production aspects and the star studded cast than with the story, but they will enjoy themselves and be useful to you.
Or: The friend who tweets you, even when they’re sitting next to you.
First, you will have to accept that this friend will be glued to their phone all the time through your entire House of Cards season 2 premiere party. And while in normal circumstances, that can be enough to have you shaking them and demanding that they pay attention, in this case it will actually work in your favour.
House of Cards is a special situation, because the entire season is premiering at once. This means the danger of spoilers is even more rampant, and the only way to truly avoid them will be to stay off social media while you are watching season 2. This friend would never be able to give up their social media anyway, so they can make sure that you stay clued into the world while filtering out all of those nasty spoilers.
‘House of Cards’ guest list: Who’s out?
Or: The friend whose homepage is Wikipedia.
This friend is easy to identify. They are always up on major plot twists of each major television show, but they only know what they need to know to get by. While there is nothing wrong with following TV shows without actually watching them, this is the last person you want at your House of Cards season 2 party. After all, they probably have not watched season 1, and only want to attend so that they don’t miss out.
The fact is, it is just impossible to know everything you need to about House of Cards without literally watching it. The show is so detailed that this friend will inevitably become confused, bored, or interrupt with a thousand questions. Unless you feel like dealing with questions like, “Who’s Peter?” and “Why doesn’t she go with the hottie photographer?,” keep them away. And then there’s the unforgivable: “Why is he talking into the camera? It’s weird.”
Or: The friend who marathons every show they watch.
Initially, it comes across as a good idea. “Let’s get together and watch House of Cards season 2,” this friend will say. “All of it. In a row.” The first few episodes will fly by as you’re glued to your seat, but eventually staring at the screen will catch up with you. It will creep up slowly, until suddenly you wake up halfway through Frank’s new plan, and you have no idea what events led up to that point.
Don’t risk it, especially not with the show as glorious as this. Marathoning often seems like a fun idea, but a show like House of Cards requires so much concentration to keep up with it. Additionally, the pacing of this thriller lends itself to being watched in single episodes, rather than running them all together. Take breaks, drink coffee, and savour it.
Or: Your Valentine’s date, or prospective date, or it’s complicated.
This is an unfortunate problem created by the season 2 premiere date. But let’s be real. House of Cards is not what romantic Valentine’s Days are made of. If you and your significant other are already excitedly planning on celebrating by watching this thriller together, then you have chosen well. But under no circumstances make this House of Cards party your first date.
There are many reasons for this, not least of which is: do you really want your first date with someone to be a group date with your politically obsessed friends, while you watch a show about relationships breaking down and murder? (Hopefully not.) Either they will distract you from key details of the show (nudge nudge), or you will scare them off with your enthusiasm for politically inspired murder.
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