The Oscars 2015 may be over, but we still have a few awards of our own to give out. Auxiliary awards, if you will.
Auxiliary awards make everything more fun. They liven up yearbooks, end-of-year celebrations, and now, the Academy Awards. (And, after sitting through last night’s ceremony, we can definitely say that they need a bit of livening up…) Categories like “Best Picture,” “Best Director,” and “Best Actress” only cover so much.
With our Oscars 2015 auxiliary awards, we hope to cover other facets of this year’s best movies (and then some)! From movies that have received academy recognition to those who haven’t, no movie is safe from our awards (and by “no movie,” we mean these thirteen specific movies).
Without further ado, enjoy our Hypable Oscars 2015 Auxiliary Awards. Please hold your applause until all awards have been announced.
Fakest Baby We’ve Ever Seen in Our Lives
American Sniper — When we first saw American Sniper, we couldn’t believe that a movie made by Clint Eastwood would use, of all things, a fake baby. He’s the Clint Eastwood. But, we guess it’s go big or go home for the man, so if he’s going to use a fake baby, he might as well use the fakest baby of all. The baby looks so fake that absolutely everyone who saw the movie noticed. Kudos to you, American Sniper.
Craziest Ending of the Year
Birdman — After reading through countless theories and having numerous discussions with friends, we’re still not entirely sure how we interpret the ending to Birdman. Out of all of the films we saw over the past year, Oscar nominees included, Birdman has the absolute craziest ending. No contest. We knew that Birdman would be unlike anything we’d ever seen before, but we had no idea that the ending of the Best Picture of the year would be that crazy.
More Violent Than Anticipated
The Grand Budapest Hotel — Show of hands: Who ever thought that a Wes Anderson film would ever be nominated or win an award titled “More Violent Than Anticipated”? It just doesn’t fit! And yet, The Grand Budapest Hotel surprised us with the amount of borderline-gory violence it displays. Seriously though. The Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe) smashes a man’s fingers in a door! We knew that American Sniper would be dangerous and saw J.K. Simmons chuck a chair at Miles Teller’s head in the Whiplash trailer, but, while it’s not to an extreme level, we never would’ve imagined the amount of violence in The Grand Budapest Hotel.
Most Effective in Scaring People Away from Marriage
Gone Girl — If you saw Gone Girl and you didn’t question your current marriage situation or your decision to get married one day, you did it wrong. Gone Girl is creepy in that you can never truly know if you know everything about the person you’re marrying. It’s absolutely terrifying (and not just because you’re sharing a joint bank account with them). We’ll never truly enjoy weddings or search for significant others the same way ever again. Thanks a lot, Gone Girl.
Most Informational About How Not to Anger Your Farmers Agent
Whiplash — Out of all of the Best Pictures this year, Whiplash is definitely the most educational. No, it didn’t teach us anything about historical figures or events, but it did teach us how not to piss off our Farmers insurance agent. Don’t want to get assaulted by your insurance man? Then be sure to BE ON THEIR TEMPO. And, if you’re not, know whether you’re rushing or dragging. Otherwise, you’ll get a chair hurled at your head (which probably won’t be covered under your insurance). Thanks for the insight, Whiplash.
Best Film Adapted from a Wikipedia Page
The Theory of Everything — The Theory of Everything is a beautiful film. It’s so interesting to look at and we don’t need to remind you that Eddie Redmayne gives one of the most impeccable performances of the last year (after all, he won an Oscar for it). However, because the movie spans such a large timespan, at times it feels like we’re just watching a visual representation or reenactment of Stephen Hawking’s Wikipedia page. It just moves so quickly from one event to the next without really diving much into certain subjects (most notably, the thought processes behind his theories).
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