Jake and Ryder are very heterosexually showing off their bodies to one another when Tina and Kitty invade the boys’ locker room to let the pair know what their calendar months will be. Kitty gets all up on Jake when telling him about his Halloween theme, and when the girls leave, Ryder tells his friend that he thought Kitty was going to jump Jake right there. Jake admits that since dating Marley, he does not even register other girls, and he then apologises for bringing up his relationship with Marley to Ryder, who is still a little sore about Marley dating him and then dumping him for Jake. Ryder says that he can tell it’s the real deal for Jake, and Jake tells Ryder about singing “A Thousand Years,” how he’d thought Marley was going to say “I love you” and how he would have said it back. Ryder advises Jake that he has to “get naked emotionally” and tell Marley how he feels. Jake performs a slow rendition of “Let Me Love You” in glee rehearsal, dedicating the song to her. Marley gets tears, but when Ryder again encourages Jake to actually say words, not sing them, Jake is attacked with nerves and claims the song speaks for itself.
“Kurt, the hipster from downstairs with the curlicue moustache wants to borrow your Russian hat,” Rachel calls out as she wrenches the door to the Bushwick apartment open. Instead of Kurt, she finds Quinn and Santana, who have been called up to New York by Kurt to give Rachel a nudity intervention. After the pair snark at each other, they get down to business helping Rachel out, both girls offering advice that’s a little more reasonable than Kurt and Brody’s. Quinn asks Rachel to consider the 2-2-2 rule: how will Rachel feel about this in two weeks, two months, two years? Santana shows Rachel the utter permanence of the situation, citing her own experience with her sex tape being leaked online. Rachel claims that some women find it empowering to be naked on film. “Yes,” Santana admits, “but not in a student film that is probably about someone’s grandma with Alzheimer’s.” Given that this is literally the exact subject of the film Rachel is partaking in, Rachel glares at her. Quinn gently explains that they care about her and begs her not to do the film, but Rachel still looks determined.
At McKinley, it’s time for the big photo shoot and we see Tina directing the various months – Blaine as January, popping some champagne, Ryder as Uncle Sam for July, and when Sam jumps in to do August, Tina tries to include Blaine in Sam’s pictures as well, because he’s “looking particularly cute today.” Tina is creepily unsubtle. When Joe offers to be involved in the group shot as well, Sam shoots him down, dismissing the other boy’s body compared to his own, and goes on to say that the whole calendar should have been just him. Artie snarks at him about his arrogance, but Sam doesn’t hear it – he rushes off the photo shoot set because his muscles lost the necessary “pump” for the shot, and he feels the need to do a few more repetitions.
Blaine looks quite worried and follows him. He finds Sam lifting weights and talking to himself, and calls him out about his behaviour, saying this isn’t who Sam is. Sam, upset, says that Blaine doesn’t understand – that he’s such a talented all-rounder that he doesn’t understand what it’s like for Sam, to only be noticed and valued for his looks and body. He claims that people only laugh at his impressions because they’re already hooked by his looks. Blaine looks at his friend and crush sadly, asking if Sam really believes that, and Sam sits, defeated, saying “If you want to make it in this world, you have to be special.” Blaine tells Sam that he is special, even without his body, but Sam doesn’t believe him, breaking down about how hard he works on himself. Blaine, all kindness, tells him to let it go a little – to eat a burger now and then, to skip one of his twice-daily workouts, to stop being so strict and manic, because everyone is still going to love him. Blaine then sets Sam up in a meeting with Emma, who provides him with information about colleges who accept candidates based on things other than SAT scores, and Blaine and Emma together encourage him to apply for some of these schools, and for some scholarships as well.
Finn, full of sass, slaps a sealed envelope down on the table in the teachers lounge, telling Sue that the Penthouse hadn’t been too hard to find. Impressed and seemingly accepting, she tells Finn that she’s not ashamed of her past and opens the envelope to check out her old photo shoot. Instead, she finds a copy of the Highlights children’s magazine. “You idiot,” she tells Finn, “why would you let me open that?” However, Finn is one step ahead of her, and was recording the conversation on his phone. So, coerced with false evidence or not, he has Sue’s confession about doing the Penthouse shoot in the first place, and with this, it seems that she’s forced into leaving the glee club’s calendar alone. “Checkmate.”
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