It’s that time of the year. The one that we’ve all been waiting for and simultaneously dreading: finale season.
All of our favorite shows are really stepping it up and leaving us hanging on the edges of our seats. Plot lines are getting good, tiny details from past episodes are coming into play, and our favorite couples are finally getting together (Tiva, anyone?!). But, as much as we love all of these things, we know that heartache is coming. Soon, our hearts will be practically ripped out of our chests, and we’ll just be left grasping our remotes screaming “Why?!”
To ensure that you survive the next few weeks of jaw-dropping season finales, you need to make yourself a survival kit. The kit should cover all of your season finale watching needs, physical and emotional. Check out all of our survival kit must-haves and make sure to start stocking up before it’s too late.
*Note: If your favorite series is one of the few shows that has already aired its season finale (like Bones or The Following), we are so sorry we could not get this to you sooner. We sincerely hope you survived.
Tissues
Were you really that surprised that this item was the first necessity on our list? Tissues are really the only defense you have against your body completely falling apart. They are useful for not only wiping the tears from your eyes, the mascara from your face, and the snot from your nose, but also for shielding your eyes from the travesties occurring on the television screen. When it comes to tissues, double-fisting is always acceptable (and even encouraged). So make sure you have a full box within arms reach of your spot on the couch. Consider tissues as your #1 “must have.”
A Brown Paper Bag (or Two)
With so many twists, turns, and heart-stopping moments, a single season finale can do quite a number on the human body. For instance, they make it really hard to breathe normally. The brown paper bag is a proven way (or so we heard) to help counteract hyperventilation. The rhythmic expansion and contraction of the paper bag will calm your nerves and give you something else to focus on instead of the horrible pain you’re currently experiencing. For pointers on how to effectively utilize the brown paper bag, we suggest you watch this video of Janice Goralnik from Friends. She’s not ashamed to ask for a bag and uses it like a pro.
A Big Fluffy Pillow
The pillow is mainly for screaming into. Verbalizing all of your tortured emotions into your hands will only amplify your screams and make you feel worse. Well that, and annoy your family. They just don’t understand what you’re going through. But you know who/what does? Your big fluffy pillow. Try to choose one you wouldn’t mind cuddling with too because hugging one will make you feel a little better. Fancy throw pillows can be itchy, overstuffed, and just generally uncomfortable. If you cannot find a suitable pillow or you feel like a pillow is not sufficient to hold all of your feels, we suggest you procure an oversized blanket. You can make a snug cocoon for yourself and be sure that it will cover every inch of your body, holding you tightly while you quietly sob.
A Tub of Ice Cream
Ben and Jerry’s. Häagen Dazs. Edy’s. Walmart’s Great Value brand. As long as you have a tub of ice cream and a really big spoon, the brand doesn’t matter. Ice cream is the ultimate comfort food, especially during finale season. Its sweet, creamy goodness can help you overcome just about anything if you let it. Make sure to stock your freezer with all of your favorite flavors, and write your name over every inch of the tubs so that nobody else helps themselves to your survival kit stash. There’s really no such thing as having too much ice cream so go ahead and buy more than you think you’re going to need. After all, it’s impossible to tell just how painful your show’s season finale is going to be.
Your Favorite Comedy Movie
Movies have always been an escape from the toils of every day life. They take you to a different place and/or time and help you forget about your life for a little while. Let your favorite comedy movie be your escape from all of your season finale feels. Put it on right after your show ends or wait to watch it until the next day when deeper pain and withdrawal is sure to set in. If you have more than one comedy movie that you love, have a comedy marathon. The more movies, the merrier. Literally. One thing’s for sure: it will feel amazing to laugh after bawling your eyes for so long.
A Really Great Friend
If all else fails or if you just crave the company of another, make sure to have a really great friend on call during your show’s season finale. This friend should be willing to listen to what the show’s writers put you through even if he/she does not understand your highly emotional state. Said friend should also give amazing hugs because you’re definitely going to need them. Just give your friend a heads up about what night your show’s season is ending and reserve them for as much time as you think you’ll need them. You don’t necessarily have to share some of your ice cream with them, but we’re sure it would be a well-appreciated gesture and earn you a few more quality hugs.
Tumblr Tags
Chances are your really great friend is not as passionate about your shows as you are. That’s ok, it happens. After you seek comfort in the arms of your friend, search Tumblr for fellow fandom members’ reactions. Type in your tv show/fandom of choice, and you’ll be immediately bombarded with people who feel the same way that you do. Join other fans in celebration of all of the good times that happened throughout the season or in grievance of all of the dark, soul-destroying times. Scroll through different rants and theories to try to get some perspective about the future and calm your nerves. Just know that you don’t have to go through the pain of your show’s season finale alone.
Your Favorite Fast Food
Once you think you’re finally ready to face the world (or you’ve completely run out of ice cream, whichever comes first), nothing will comfort you more than your favorite junk food/fast food. You know that it’s not the best thing for you, but it honestly cannot do any worse to your body than the season finale(s) that you just experienced. So go ahead. Order a box of Taco Bell’s Doritos Locos Tacos. Gorge yourself on every single item on the McDonald’s Dollar Menu. Hell, take part in that one restaurant’s impossible eating challenge that you’ve always wanted to do (you know, the one where you have to finish an overwhelming amount of greasy food in a certain amount of time and then you win a tshirt and your photo/name forever immortalized on their wall). Your show(s) have dragged you kicking and screaming to rock bottom so things can’t possibly get worse.