The Oscars 2015 may be over, but we still have a few awards of our own to give out. Auxiliary awards, if you will.
Auxiliary awards make everything more fun. They liven up yearbooks, end-of-year celebrations, and now, the Academy Awards. (And, after sitting through last night’s ceremony, we can definitely say that they need a bit of livening up…) Categories like “Best Picture,” “Best Director,” and “Best Actress” only cover so much.
With our Oscars 2015 auxiliary awards, we hope to cover other facets of this year’s best movies (and then some)! From movies that have received academy recognition to those who haven’t, no movie is safe from our awards (and by “no movie,” we mean these thirteen specific movies).
Without further ado, enjoy our Hypable Oscars 2015 Auxiliary Awards. Please hold your applause until all awards have been announced.
Fakest Baby We’ve Ever Seen in Our Lives
American Sniper — When we first saw American Sniper, we couldn’t believe that a movie made by Clint Eastwood would use, of all things, a fake baby. He’s the Clint Eastwood. But, we guess it’s go big or go home for the man, so if he’s going to use a fake baby, he might as well use the fakest baby of all. The baby looks so fake that absolutely everyone who saw the movie noticed. Kudos to you, American Sniper.
Craziest Ending of the Year
Birdman — After reading through countless theories and having numerous discussions with friends, we’re still not entirely sure how we interpret the ending to Birdman. Out of all of the films we saw over the past year, Oscar nominees included, Birdman has the absolute craziest ending. No contest. We knew that Birdman would be unlike anything we’d ever seen before, but we had no idea that the ending of the Best Picture of the year would be that crazy.
More Violent Than Anticipated
The Grand Budapest Hotel — Show of hands: Who ever thought that a Wes Anderson film would ever be nominated or win an award titled “More Violent Than Anticipated”? It just doesn’t fit! And yet, The Grand Budapest Hotel surprised us with the amount of borderline-gory violence it displays. Seriously though. The Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe) smashes a man’s fingers in a door! We knew that American Sniper would be dangerous and saw J.K. Simmons chuck a chair at Miles Teller’s head in the Whiplash trailer, but, while it’s not to an extreme level, we never would’ve imagined the amount of violence in The Grand Budapest Hotel.
Most Effective in Scaring People Away from Marriage
Gone Girl — If you saw Gone Girl and you didn’t question your current marriage situation or your decision to get married one day, you did it wrong. Gone Girl is creepy in that you can never truly know if you know everything about the person you’re marrying. It’s absolutely terrifying (and not just because you’re sharing a joint bank account with them). We’ll never truly enjoy weddings or search for significant others the same way ever again. Thanks a lot, Gone Girl.
Most Informational About How Not to Anger Your Farmers Agent
Whiplash — Out of all of the Best Pictures this year, Whiplash is definitely the most educational. No, it didn’t teach us anything about historical figures or events, but it did teach us how not to piss off our Farmers insurance agent. Don’t want to get assaulted by your insurance man? Then be sure to BE ON THEIR TEMPO. And, if you’re not, know whether you’re rushing or dragging. Otherwise, you’ll get a chair hurled at your head (which probably won’t be covered under your insurance). Thanks for the insight, Whiplash.
Best Film Adapted from a Wikipedia Page
The Theory of Everything — The Theory of Everything is a beautiful film. It’s so interesting to look at and we don’t need to remind you that Eddie Redmayne gives one of the most impeccable performances of the last year (after all, he won an Oscar for it). However, because the movie spans such a large timespan, at times it feels like we’re just watching a visual representation or reenactment of Stephen Hawking’s Wikipedia page. It just moves so quickly from one event to the next without really diving much into certain subjects (most notably, the thought processes behind his theories).
On page two: ‘Most Underappreciated Film of the Year,’ ‘Strangest Use of Bees as a Plot Device,’ and more!
Most Likely to Cause Flashback Whiplash
The Imitation Game — We have to admit, it took a little time for us to get used to the fact that there are three different time periods shown or being referenced throughout the movie. Of course, the flashbacks that show Alan Turing as a school boy are easy to distinguish from the later timelines (mostly because the earliest flashbacks don’t have Benedict Cumberbatch) but the other two take a bit of work to tell apart. Going back and forth between all of the different time periods sometimes makes our heads spin as we watch the movie.
Best and Most Organized Collection of Home Videos
Boyhood — While it does have a relatively cohesive story to it, Boyhood really feels like a well-curated collection of home videos. There are no transitions between years and ages but you can tell when the film skips forward a few months. Plus, family members or friends just kind of drop out of the picture with no explanation about where they went or what they’re doing now. More than anything, Boyhood will always be known for Richard Linklater’s innovative idea to shoot a movie over 12 years (not the plot), so it’s basically just like a stack of home video VHS tapes put onto a DVD by your local Sam’s Club.
Most Underappreciated Film of the Year
Selma — Not to mention undervalued and under-discussed, Selma is the one film this year that we believe has gotten the shaft the most. We’ll admit that Selma wasn’t high up on our list of Oscars 2015 Best Picture nominees that we wanted to see. At least, at first. But that’s mostly because we hadn’t heard anyone talking about it. At all. Selma is an incredibly well-done film that’s moving and gut-wrenching. It’s a real crime that this film hasn’t gotten more attention. Hopefully last night’s ceremony will change that because this is a great movie with quite a bit of emotional heft.
Strangest Use of Bees as a Plot Device
Jupiter Ascending — Though it just came out a few weeks ago, Jupiter Ascending really cleaned up when it comes to our auxiliary awards. In addition to “Strangest Use of Bees as a Plot Device,” the movie also wins “Most Unnecessary Orgy Scene,” “Most Surprising Non-Death,” “Best Use of a Movie as a Commercial for Haute Couture,” and “Greatest Incorporation of an Oedipus Complex.” No, Jupiter Ascending isn’t the greatest movie we’ve ever seen, but, as evidenced by these awards, it’s definitely worth watching.
Most Likely to Be Mistaken for an Animated Film
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies — It’s no secret that the Hobbit trilogy uses a lot of CGI and special effects. However, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies uses so much that it could honestly probably have been in contention for Oscars 2015 Best Animated Feature Film when the Academy was choosing its nominees. Seriously though. We’re not saying it’s a good or a bad thing. It just changes the way we look at the story.
Everyone’s Secret Best Picture of the Year
Guardians of the Galaxy — Could this award go to any movie but Guardians of the Galaxy? Guardians was one of the highest-grossing films in 2014. Not only that, but it’s one of the best-reviewed and most-well liked of the highest grossing films of the year. While we’re overjoyed that it was nominated for two Oscars 2015 categories this year, we still secretly consider it to be Best Picture of the Year in our hearts.
Most Awesome Movie of the Year
The Lego Movie — Because The Lego Movie is awesome and we just want to remind everyone of that.