We got more than we bargained for when we saw Jurassic World for the first time. We were expecting an action/adventure/horror movie, but what we got was so much more.
What we got was a party. A giant dinosaur party. In fact, whenever anyone asks us about how we liked the movie, the phrase “#DinosaurParty” is always the first thing that comes out of our mouth (Jimmy Fallon hashtag gesture and all).
So, we got to thinking: What would a legitimate, real-life Jurassic World party look like (besides super awesome)? Two theater viewings, a handful of discussions, and 20 mind replays later, we think we have the keys to throwing the best party ever.
Wanna know how to throw a dinosaur party like the world has never seen? Pay attention to these tips and tricks from Jurassic World.
Pre-dinosaur party planning
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- Instruct your guests to arrive on motorcycle and train their pets to flank them as they’re coming up the driveway.
- Make sure to invite absolutely everyone. Don’t leave anyone out, even if you’ve only met them once or twice before.
- Decorate your party room with dollar store dinosaur figurines. Be sure to strike the right balance between carnivores and herbivores as you place them throughout the room.
- Decorate your front door to make it look like the entrance to Jurassic World. Don’t forget the movie franchise’s theme song!
- Hire a dinosaur specialist or consultant (one isn’t better than the other, especially considering how things went down in Jurassic Park and Jurassic World) to entertain with fun facts and help you keep the peace.
- Save yourself the embarrassment; double check to make sure your crush doesn’t have a significant other. Just because they don’t talk about them doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
- Lay down ground rules before your party starts; tell your guests that you’re not going to be “in control” of the party but you expect them to behave because you have a relationship based on respect.
- Have a “no feathers” policy for your guests’ attire. Everything else is okay, but feathers aren’t allowed at this #DINOSAURPARTY. (Oh, and nothing retro either. We all know how that’s going to end. No retro shirts if you know what’s best for your event.)
- Don’t invite B.D. Wong. He’ll just bum everyone out and say that’s not what the dinosaurs really looked like. WE KNOW! LET US DREAM!
- Invite Jake Johnson. Jake Johnson just makes everything 1000x better.
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Fun things to do at the dinosaur party
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- Lead everyone into your party via road flare.
- Do what Jimmy Buffett says and does: make sure you have a drink in each hand, no matter what.
- Rip off and/or tie up your shirt in front of your guests to signal to them that you’re ready to go. That you’re ready to party.
- Play “Mosasaurus”! Gather your friends around your pool (you have a pool right?), give them all rain-gear, and then jump flailingly into the pool (preferably with some sort of hunk of food in your mouth) and thrash around to soak everyone.
- Rent out small ponies and dress them like baby Triceratops for your guests to ride because regular pony rides are so last year. (I mean, you can also try to find small Triceratops to rent, but who knows how that’ll end up.)
- Play games like “Russian Roulette: Velociraptor Style,” “Tune Up an Old Jeep in 20 Minutes or Less,” and “Pin the Correct Gene Donors on the Indominus Rex.”
- Spend a lot of time staring right at that special someone or crush in your life. It’s bound to attract them.
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Tips for making sure your dinosaur party goes smoothly
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- Don’t keep everyone in a single room for the whole time; you may end up with casualties (especially if you have any genetically modified or stylized friends).
- Be sure to have a lot of food so that your guests don’t start attacking each other out of hunger.
- Speaking of food, make sure all of your edibles are clearly labeled and labeled with simple names. Jurassic World is all for easily-pronounceable names, after all. You want your guests to be able to pronounce what they’re eating. So, for example, if you’re serving bruschetta, call it “Italian tomatoes on toast” to make it simpler for your guests to say.
- Make it clear that you’re the alpha and choose a beta (who you call “Blue” throughout the party) so that there’s a clear pecking order to the party.
- Sport straight hair for the start of your party and, about halfway through, slip out and add a few waves to your hair. The change in hairstyle will make you look like you’re having a lot of fun and that you’ve loosened up over the course of the party.
- Keep any and all women away from pools (or other bodies of water) as well as birds. Especially take caution if your party takes place near a combination of the two.
- People getting all up in your space? Don’t be afraid to put both hands out in front of you and tell them to “Back up” or “Lock it up.”
- Party guests can be vicious; make sure to stay around the perimeter and “never turn your back on the cage.”
- Don’t let your partygoers smell ya sweat. (No seriously, don’t. Douse yourself with gasoline if you have to.)
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Post-dinosaur party odds ‘n’ ends
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- Right before your party ends, get everyone together (including that person who spends most of their time in front of the snack table or the other person who spends a lot of the time outside) and reenact the #DINOSAURPARTY that happens at the end of Jurassic World. There ain’t no dinosaur party like that Jurassic World dinosaur party.
- Give a Mercedes to each attendee as a party favor. They’re apparently the new “it” thing as they were everywhere in Jurassic World.
- At the end of the night, climb onto your roof (or the tallest surface you can get onto) and let out a fierce roar. This was your party and everyone’s going to know it.
Got all that? Well, then it’s party time!
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