Supergirl season 4 ended with an enormous bomb that was years in the making: Lex Luthor revealing to his sister, Lena, that her best friend, Kara Danvers, happens to be Supergirl AKA the Girl of Steel.

Over the years, it has been hard to take a side in the debate over the Supergirl identity reveal and whether or not Kara should reveal her identity to the person she claimed to be her “best friend.” Lena and Kara have had such a strained relationship when she’s wearing the cape, but Lena and Kara have such a fantastic relationship when she’s not.

Now that the truth is out — even though Kara doesn’t know about the Supergirl identity reveal yet — it’s going to be interesting to see how these two women handle the matter. However, that doesn’t mean either side is right or wrong. It’s possible to see where both of the characters are coming from, why Kara has made the choices she’s made and why Lena is making certain choices on Supergirl season 5 (as we’ve seen in the trailer for the upcoming season, seen below).

Kara’s justified feelings

While I suspect there’s more to the story than we’ve been told about why Kara has tried so hard to keep her identity from Lena, we know enough. She’s been trying to keep Lena safe, especially as the Luthor family has continuously tried to destroy Supergirl and all aliens. Lena’s life has been in danger plenty of times for her family name alone, so Kara didn’t want to contribute to that.

Additionally, keeping Lena in the dark allowed Kara to put “Supergirl” away and just be Kara Danvers, even for a little bit. I can understand why Kara would want to just have one part of her life that is (almost) completely normal because she doesn’t even get that at work as just Kara Danvers anymore.

Finally, Kara didn’t want to lose Lena. After all of the betrayal Lena has experienced, including Eve’s recent betrayal, she knew exactly how Lena would take the news. What I don’t think has been explicitly said is how Kara/Lena have a great relationship, but Supergirl/Lena do not. How would Lena learning that Kara is Supergirl change her view of her? I believe this is another part of the puzzle, and Kara didn’t tell her because she was afraid of losing the one person who sees her as Lena does.

Over Supergirl season 5, preferably early on, we need to see Kara and Lena have an actual conversation about why she kept the secret from Lena, especially for so long.

Lena’s right to feel betrayed

First of all, Kara has not nor has she ever “owed” anyone her identity. That is Kara’s secret to tell how and when she feels like it, but I think it’s safe to say that it wasn’t like Kara has never wanted Lena to know. It’s been the bane of their friendship over the last three years.

Lena’s feelings, particularly going into Supergirl season 5, are completely understandable, in my opinion. She feels extremely betrayed by Kara and this huge part of her life that has been hidden from her by not only Kara, but everyone.

What’s getting lost in the conversations about this is that Lena isn’t just angry with Kara, she’s angry at everyone she knows in National City for knowing Kara was Supergirl and all of them lying to her. Kara, Alex, and James are three people that Lena has been incredibly close with since arriving in town, and now she knows how in the dark they were keeping her for years. Pair that with Eve’s recent betrayal, and it’s a recipe for her anger to get the best of her.

Imagine how you would feel if you found out someone who you called your “best friend” and vice versa was lying to you about their entire life. Pair that with your supposed best friend knowing about your trust issues and knowingly lying to you every day. And then add on having everyone close to you, including the family that destroyed your mental and emotional well-being, in on the secret. Lena has every right to be hurt.

What she’s experiencing is surely a culmination of every bad thing that has been done to her by Lex, Lillian, Eve, and the world. Lena never thought or expected it to come from Kara, so it broke her. Can you say the same wouldn’t happen to you if you were in Lena’s shoes?

Somewhat one-sided

The Supergirl identity reveal has been very one-sided over the last three years. Only on Supergirl season 4 were we able to see more from Kara about her reasoning for keeping the secret from Lena, but it’s always been about how Kara was betraying and (knowingly) hurting Lena by keeping the truth from her. Lena feeling exactly that way should surprise no one, especially because Kara didn’t get to reveal the secret herself.

Even in the trailers for the new season, we don’t see how Kara feels about the news. We’ve seen brief glimpses of Kara crying and Lena punching Kara (probably in the virtual reality world). How can anyone take sides when we’re only seeing one side of the story? Why take sides in general when neither Kara nor Lena are wrong in their feelings about the Supergirl identity reveal. They are both entitled to feel what they do, as best friends torn apart by a secret.

Supergirl returns Sunday, October 6 at 9 p.m. ET.