And we just had our third week in a row of “no duh” eliminations – we knew it, the stars knew it, everyone knew it. To the surprise of no one, former Bachelor, Sean, and Peta were eliminated in the quarterfinals, coming in sixth place. Like I said yesterday, this was obviously going to happen, so Peta gave Sean two spectacular routines to do yesterday. Sean’s success at dancing them was questionable, but they were great performance pieces. I love Peta’s honesty – in the “Walk Down Memory Lane” video package after they’re eliminated, she straight up says “I thought he’d be going home in the first four weeks.” If we’re being honest, most seasons he would have.

How did Sean stack up against our other former Bachelor, Season 10’s Jake Pavelka? Sean actually did better! Jake and Chelsie came in seventh, one rank lower than Sean. Of course, Bachelor contestant Melissa Rycroft just won the All-Star Season, so she gets the title of most successful Bachelor-associated person on DwtS. Peta, meanwhile, equals her run from last season, where she placed sixth with Gilles Marini.

I have some fun trivia for you: as of this week, Derek has surpassed Cheryl as the pro with the most quarterfinal appearances (he’s made it ten times, Cheryl has made it nine times). And Karina catches up to Maks for third place, with eight quarterfinal appearances.

Next week, Derek will tie Cheryl for the most semifinal appearances, with nine each. Mark will tie Maks for the runner-up spot, with six semifinal appearances each. We’ll have to wait and see if either Mark or Derek can get into the finals a sixth time to tie Cheryl’s record there (my guess is they both will).

In an attempt to make the hierarchy of the remaining dancers less obvious, this week we got no official Bottom Two. Trying to mess with us, Ingo and Kym were declared safe early on, while Kellie and Derek were “in jeopardy.” Um, yeah, right. Did anyone believe for a hot second that they’d be eliminated? Me neither. This all had the opposite of the intended effect – once Ingo was declared safe, it became obvious that Sean would be going home. Jacoby and Karina joined them in the “may or may not be the bottom two.”

The encore went to Zendaya for her perfect Trio Salsa, which was just as much fun the second time around. We got a recap of last night’s insanity, and heard Len’s arguing much clearer; what he actually told Bruno is, “You’ve got your vocal cords up your arse!” And while Len was way out of line yesterday, he kind of has a point there.

It was also revealed what dances Twitter decided the couples would be performing next week. Alas, we will never see Sean and Peta’s Disco routine. Kym was petrified of getting Hip-Hop, but Zendaya and Val got it instead. Now, I don’t usually grouse about this, but in what world is it fair for Zendaya to dance hip-hop when that’s her career? If you want to tell me that although she’s a dancer, she has no ballroom experience, then fine… but her dancing hip-hop is patently unfair. And there might be some backlash for that.

The results show was jam-packed with performances. Jason Derulo and Emeli Sande both performed. Derek did a Macy’s Stars of Dance thing where he was dancing in a room the size of a cruise cabin (the cheapest ones that I always stay in). The twist was that the entire room was rotating, so it looked like Derek and his partner were dancing on the walls and the ceiling. It was cool, but the best performance of the night had to be Ingo’s son, Peanut, having a ball with the entire cast (also, there was a shot of Len wearing flip-flops… an image my mind can’t reconcile).

Now, those of you who are attentive will doubtless notice something weird going on. We have five couples going into the semifinals, with no dramatic monologues about a double elimination. This has been bugging me for the past few weeks, but I assumed there’s be a double elimination eventually. However, Entertainment Weekly revealed in their recap of yesterday’s show that this season, THE FINAL WILL HAVE FOUR COUPLES!!!

Take a moment to process this.

I’m furious over this – I’ve spent the past eight weeks harping on about the Final Three, as everyone has since the dawn of DwtS. And now, out of the blue, that all changes… without any dramatic video packages talking about how this changes everything! How could they? I guess they don’t want the final to just be the obvious three girls that everyone predicted in Week 1, but that’s no excuse. Humph.

Did the right couple go home? Will Ingo somehow unseat Jacoby next week for a spot in the final? And can you reconcile with the idea of a four-person final?

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