This week’s Glee focused on the drama surrounding McKinley’s senior Prom, which was a trip back to the prehistoric ages. Read below for a full recap of Prom-asaurus.
Mirroring the last episode, this week opens on another Rachel inner monologue about NYADA, but instead of discussing her preparations, she recounts her audition failure. She seems fairly resigned, willing to focus on smaller goals, such as her wedding, Nationals, and of course, making a splash at the senior Prom. While inexplicably recreating the famous Streisand Funny Girl photo-shoot, complete with leopard-print pillbox hat, she says that her Broadway dreams were like a favourite old sweater, kept around even though it may no longer fit, and that it’s time to move on. She tries to convince herself that not getting everything she wanted doesn’t make her a loser, but this attempt at regaining some self-worth is shot down by Becky Jackson, who tells Rachel she doesn’t want to “catch her failure” as she practises her wave as a Prom Queen hopeful.
After being called out by Figgins in a very confusing and disturbing conversation in which Brittany seemed to get off on the Principal calling her “sexy teen trollop,” the fidgety and dismissive class president agrees to perform some actual presidential duties for the first time since her election. She also uses the phrase “belabouring the nuances of my fluid teen sexuality” which just makes me really question what we’re supposed to believe about Brittany’s intelligence and awareness. She attends a meeting of the Prom Committee, who have been meeting since September. After being presented with their theme ideas, for which she calls them incompetent fools, says they should be put in jail, and accuses them of being a terrorist cell – she fires them all when they do not like her theme idea: dinosaurs. As a matter of fact, she says, “When you insult my dinosaur Prom theme, that’s bullying, and I will not accept it” – we’ve heard these accusations of bullying from Brittany before in the show, and it seems like someone taught her that it was the way to win arguments. I’m no less uncomfortable about this now than I was the first time. I’d also like to point out that this line (regarding another member’s “Stairway to Heaven” idea) – “Not unless we also build escalators to heaven for the disabled students… plus I’m not really sure if they’re even allowed into heaven.” – made me immediately write down “one hand giveth, the other taketh away” because never has there been a more succinct example of everything that is right with Glee and wrong with Glee than the two halves of that sentence.
Sue – doing the morning announcements with Becky in a very Grease-esque style – announces the nominees for the Prom King – Rick that mullet hockey dude, Brittany (yeah), and Finn – and Queen: Some Random, Santana and Quinn. Becky flies into a rage in her disappointment of not being nominated, smashing Sue’s announcement xylophone. As they attend Glee Club, Finn asks Rachel whether she is disappointed not to be nominated and she is flippant, saying it means nothing to her – all she cares about is attending the Prom with Finn and having their night together. As the rest of the group arrives, Schuester announces that the club will be performing again this year, which is met with mixes reviews. Brittany then shares her plans – the dinosaur theme, electing Quinn and Santana to count the ballots as they will keep each other honest, and the fact that hair gel will be banned. This is, of course, directed at Blaine, who does not take it seriously until she says that frankly, she doesn’t like the way Blaine looks and anyone who shows up wearing hair gel will be denied entry. Right, so this attack on someone’s appearance is okay, calling someone an incompetent fool is okay, but any questioning of her ideas is automatically shut down as bullying. I’ve gone from ambivalence about Brittany to hatred pretty fast. She looks slightly manic as she declares it the best Prom ever, and the rest of the group, including Schuester, move on in mild shock as Blaine raises his hand in an attempt to clarify the validity of what Brittany is saying. The facial expressions in the background of this scene are killer, particularly Mike Chang’s, as he looks from Blaine to Schuester to Brittany.
Rachel, who’d been genuinely fine with Finn’s nomination and offered to help him campaign, changes her tune pretty quickly when she sees campaign posters for her boyfriend advertising him and Quinn for King and Queen together, like a couple. She confronts Finn about it and he admits that he agreed to campaign with Quinn, feeling it was the least he could do for her, due to her having been in the accident coming to their wedding. Rachel shares her anguish at the idea of watching him with Quinn, saying that she was also currently suffering due to her dashed NYADA plans and that her high school career was now set to end the way it started, her being invisible watching Finn and Quinn together. I know I’m weirdly obsessed with Finchel at the moment, but even in this fight I adored them, it was so realistic. Gone are the days of these two having over-dramatics and missing the point of one another. They are truly on the same page, even when disagreeing, and I just buy their relationship so much now. I buy it with all the dollars.
Meanwhile, the topic of their conversation is at the physiotherapist with Joe – and she’s walking. Not far, not fast, but she can do it. Joe is proud of her and encourages Quinn to show the other people at school, but she does not want to – she gets a slightly old-school crafty look in her eye as she says that if she works on it, she can surprise everyone by walking into the choir room or into Prom. She makes Joe promise not to tell anyone, and he promises that she will be dancing at Prom.
Becky Jackson – with her inner monologue of choice, Dame Helen Mirren – wanders the halls distraught and angry about not being nominated for Prom Queen. Sue pulls her aside to discuss the situation, saying that Becky’s aggressive behaviour has got to stop. She gives Becky some matter-of-fact advice, saying that the girl should not worry about the image and status and that the sympathy vote was split due to Quinn’s injury. She also tells Becky that people do not like her because she is a bitch with a bad attitude. She means it as a compliment, and Becky takes it as one.
Later the same afternoon, Rachel sings alone in the auditorium – “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie. She thinks she’s alone, until Kurt joins in on the chorus, quickly followed by Blaine. The trio sit around finishing the song together – the arrangement is carefully constructed so that Chris Colfer and Darren Criss never harmonise, lest the entire population’s ears start to bleed again. Man, they must be kicking themselves that they’re not able to have the arguably most popular couple on the show sing together a lot because of how awful they sound when harmonising. Luckily, Lea Michele and Darren Criss sound wonderful together, so the song just scrapes by with a pass, and the acting, the act of singing it to one another and the friendship expressed is sweet. The conversation following the number is epic – Rachel venting her feelings to the boys, who get her even when she’s being awkward and politically incorrect, and they share their stresses regarding the event: Kurt doesn’t want to go, unsurprisingly, but is apparently required to crown the new winner, as he is the reigning Prom Queen. Despite his brave handling at the junior Prom, he fears more humiliation. And Blaine has more superficial fears – his hair. He claims the Prom environment, what with the balloons, taffeta and silk, will create too much static electricity for his hair to handle. The others giggle and shake their heads as he gets worked up, but he persists, saying that they have not seen his hair without product (really? Kurt has never seen his boyfriend, who he apparently has sex with, without any hair product?) and that they aren’t prepared for how bad it will be. He sulks at their laughter and says he doesn’t want to go either. Together, they come up with the idea of not attending, and pitch the idea of an anti-Prom party to the rest of the club. Some of the group appear interested, Puck decides to attend, and Finn pledges his support with plans to attend as soon as he fulfills his obligation to the Prom Court, but Santana shuts the idea down, saying Rachel is punishing the rest of the group by having this “I’m a Victim” party. Santana is really harsh but once I broke it down, I realised what she was trying to say was actually pretty sweet, if wrapped in aggression, because what she is actually saying is that Rachel not attending Prom will ruin one of the last big nights they all have to spend together. Though she wants to attend a proper senior Prom, Santana wants Rachel there too, and that’s what her problem is.
After this altercation, Finn wheels Quinn into the hall, and the blonde questions her ex about the situation. Finn says he isn’t super into the idea, but that he feels bad for Rachel and that things are rough for her. Quinn points out her own rough situation, and once again these two girls are in this same old competition for Finn’s attention – though, Quinn makes it clear that she has no romantic interest. While they talk, they put up campaign posters, and Quinn is approached by another student, one of the former Prom Committee. She praises Quinn’s bravery and Quinn is all big eyes and martyrdom. This is really old-school manipulative Quinn behaviour, and Finn calls her out on it, calling it creepy. She rolls off, looking bored with his simplicity and saying “votes are votes – do you want to win or not?”
Finally, it’s the night of nights, and the first couple we see enter the Prom is Mike and Tina. The theme has actually turned out pretty well, if you like that kind of thing, and Mike certainly does – he admits that he actually really likes dinosaurs and is excited by the decorations and themed food. As students are welcomed into the Prom, President Brittany – barefoot and in a cave-woman dress – performs Ke$ha’s “Dinosaur,” with back-up Cheerios in T-Rex heads. No comment. Santana seems to think this is genius, proving once and for all that Santana is a bit soft in the head when it comes to Brittany. Meanwhile, Finn is looking for Quinn, and manages to track her down in the bathroom. As he tentatively knocks and peeks in for admittance, he sees first her empty chair, and then the girl herself, standing on her own to feet at the wash basin. He’s shocked, and Quinn tries to pass it off as a new thing, that he’s seeing her take her first steps, but it’s very weak and Finn sees through it. Quinn tries to express how much she wanted Prom Queen and what it would mean to surprise everyone by walking up there, but even this is shifty, her eyes darting all over the place, and Finn is disgusted by how she had lied, and used her injury to gain sympathy votes, all the while knowing she could walk. Finn yells at her about how stupid she’s made him look and feel, how she let him betray Rachel: “You may want this, but Rachel needs me, and I picked you over her. Do you know how stupid that makes me feel? You have everything. You’re going to have your crown, you’re going to go to Yale, and Rachel has none of that. And tonight, thanks to you, she doesn’t even have me.” I don’t think I have ever loved Finn Hudson more than in this moment and I wish I could play Rachel a tape recording of this speech so she knows exactly what a wonderful man the boy she is marrying has grown into. He states that he thought Quinn had become a better person, given all that she’d been through, but that he sees now that she’s just the same selfish and manipulative person she has always been. He goes to leave, but she begs him to stay, even though he doesn’t understand why it is so important. She begs him to stay a little longer with her, and he consents unhappily.
Across town, Rachel, Blaine, Kurt, Puck and Becky enter their hotel room for the most boring anti-Prom party in history. They all try to make the most of the situation an pretend they’re having fun, especially Becky, who is basically a hair’s breadth away from calling in some hookers and blow. I quite enjoy Kurt’s childish enthusiasm in this scene – he seems a lot lighter than he has in a long time, and I enjoy him a lot more in this whole episode than I have nearly all season. He also looks fierce, in a disheveled suit sans jacket, and a top hat. Blaine’s wearing hair gel, of course, with his neat suit. Puck brought beer. Finally it’s decided that Rachel would like to show them her Prom dress, as she doesn’t want it to go completely to waste. Becky declares the situation the worst anti-Prom ever, and Rachel looks dismayed.
Back at the actual Prom, Santana is performing “Love You Like A Love Song” while all the students dance. We focus on Sam and Mercedes, who reminisce about last year’s Prom. Sam teases his girlfriend about how she’d kept blowing him off when he said that they’d get back together, and she laughs and calls him crazy. I just really want Sam to be my Prom date, okay? As they dance, Mercedes catches the eye of her ex, Shane, and his date, and in a tidy bit of closure, the couple wave to Shane, who acknowledges them. Finn dances awkwardly with Quinn, holding her hands while she sways in her chair, and he looks ready to leave. She notices and asks him to please just finish the dance, just one song, and Finn, finding some inner resolve, says he will – as soon as Quinn stands up and dances with him properly. He tells her to stand up and show everyone how much she deserves to be Prom Queen, and she asks him incredulously if Finn is really doing this right now. As Joe makes his way over to the commotion, Finn starts to shout – yes, he is doing this, making her walk, making her show everyone what a crazy liar she is, accusing Joe on being in on it. Finn, Quinn and Joe all start to shout, and Joe shoves Finn away when Finn goes to pull Quinn from her chair. Sue intervenes, asking if Finn is forcing her to eject him from yet another Prom (after he got kicked out of last year’s for brawling with Jesse) and instead of waiting for punishment, Finn chooses to leave.
He shows up at the anti-Prom with a corsage for Rachel. Becky and Puck are deconstructing the mini-bar while Blaine and Kurt watch Tabatha. Blaine is still somewhat wistful and disheartened, and Kurt tells him that if Blaine had really wanted to go, Kurt would have gone with him. (Well, he would have had to, seeing as Kurt is the senior in the equation and Blaine would have been an underclassman guest of Kurt’s…) But Blaine says he won’t give in to Brittany’s rule, reiterating once again that Kurt had not seen his natural hair and that it was really, really bad. Again… I find this hard to believe. Rachel emerges from the bathroom in her Prom gown and she is truly stunning – the dress is actually very close to something Lea Michele has worn on a red carpet – Finn and Rachel are taken back by the sight of one another. Once again, Finn Hudson proves his worth by frankly stating “I love you, you’re beautiful, Prom sucks without you.” He goes on to say that this includes all of them, he wants them all there, and Rachel, Kurt and Blaine agree to attend. Finn asks Puck to please come too, but his best friend says no, that he will just attend next year, referencing his failure to be eligible to graduate. Finn looks a bit dismayed as the group departs, leaving Puck and Becky in the hotel.
As the two couples enter the dance, their friends, as well as Emma and Schue, look pleased to see them. Brittany races to greet them as a group of the Glee Club boys start to perform “What Makes You Beautiful,” it is much better than One Direction’s version due to these boys being attractive and not prepubescent. I love when the guys do boy-band style group numbers, and Joe, Artie, Rory, Mike and Sam really do sound great. Brittany does stop Blaine from advancing, saying her rule on hair gel still stands, and Blaine, looking slightly sick and ready to kill, stalks off to the bathroom to remove it when Kurt encourages him.
At the anti-Prom, Becky has convinced Puck to play strip poker, and he’s losing, badly. In just socks and jocks, he asks her to lay off a little because he does not want to get naked, and when she says she can’t back off due to being too angry, he coaxes the story out of her. She shares her disappointment about not getting nominated, and when Puck realises how much it means to her, he decides to crown himself and her as King and Queen of the anti-Prom. He crafts crowns for them out of the beer carton, and Becky plays along, charmed and delighted. They leave the hotel together to put in an appearance at the actual Prom.
Rachel has called Quinn outside the gym to talk. Quinn gives the other girl a few minutes before the Prom Court announcement and Rachel apologises for freaking out about Quinn and Finn campaigning together. Quinn says this is easy to forgive seeing as she had no idea that that was an issue for Rachel, and when she dismisses the situation easily Rachel becomes more emotional, asking if Quinn understands what she means to Rachel. Rachel explains what a pedestal she had Quinn on, and that after all that time she is still on it. Rachel – who is unaware of Quinn’s schemes – says she lost sight of who Quinn is now, humble and inspiring, and that she went crazy because of her own problems, but that when she looks back on high school she will be proud of the fact that she found a way to be Quinn’s friend. She considers this an accomplishment. Full of smiles, she tells Quinn that she voted for her and that she really thinks Quinn deserves the honor. Quinn must be deeply shamed by this, because she looks at Rachel with tears in her eyes as Santana calls her away – “stop making out with Berry, Quinn,” a nice bit of fan service there – to count the votes.
Becky and Puck enter the Prom victoriously, and people applaud them as Sue looks on proudly. To show her gratitude to Puck, Becky then distracts Sue so that Puck can have his dream – finally spiking the punch behind Sue’s back. Puck whirls his anti-Queen off to dance, and he is so damn lovely. Once again, best character development since the show’s inception, hands down. If they give him a terrible ending this season, something not worthy of his heart and his soul, I will be sending some angry letters. As Santana and Quinn count the votes, the discover that Finn has won King. Santana is disenchanted, saying she does not want to be Queen if Brittany isn’t King, Also, fun fact, as they both wield their fern pens, we see that Santana is left-handed. Relevant, I know. Anyway, they discover that Quinn has one Prom Queen, by one vote – Rachel’s vote. Upon learning that she has gotten all she thought that she wanted, Quinn realises that it means nothing to her – it offers her no validation, no victory. Santana says she guesses Quinn deserves it, and the best friends and rivals reminisce over their high school experience, being hugely popular and doing whatever they wanted with no consequence (except Quinn’s baby and a national homophobic political campaign featuring Santana’s image.. but who’s counting) – the blonde isn’t surprised that the two of them were the top candidates for this final high school honor. But, she asks Santana, shouldn’t they leave McKinley having made a difference in some way? Santana looks thoughtful.
Back in the dance hall, the camera pans through a crowd of people spotting something and looking horrified – finally stopping on Kurt, who puts his hand to his mouth muttering “Oh my dear God.” Of course, it’s a very pained-looking Blaine without hair gel. I feel like what they did to Darren Criss’s beautiful, beautiful hair was punishment to every fan who has ever complained about the gel and wished to see Blaine with natural curls, because I genuinely don’t know how they achieved this without some sort of bad 80s home perm kit. Because THIS is what Darren Criss’ curly hair looks like without gel, now that it’s short, but Blaine’s hair is some sort of vertical, frizzy mess and Brittany rather accurately calls him Mr. Broccoli Head. Upon seeing him, Brittany regrets her actions and says she abused her power, and for everyone’s comfort and safety he can have special permission to apply hair gel immediately. Kurt clearly doesn’t much like the unruly mess on his boyfriend’s head, but he does come through when Blaine goes to rush off and fix his hair. He stops Blaine, and tells him not to dare think of changing his hairstyle now, that he loves finally getting to see the real Blaine and that he wants everyone to know how proud he is of Blaine. He does kind of spoil it by calling him “Borat” as a jibe, but it’s honestly the nicest boyfriend moment I’ve ever seen from Kurt, especially since he was clearly very taken aback by how Blaine looked. Blaine looks touched and the pair go off to watch the coronation.
Figgins announces the nominees and invites last year’s Prom Queen, “sassy male student Kurt Hummel,” to come crown the winners. Kurt – still looking very handsome and rock star in his messy suit and unbuttoned shirt – strides onstage with a resigned look on his face. Figgins, in his awkward way, announces Finn as King as everyone applauds, and Blaine bellows GO FINN! through cupped hands like at a football game. Kurt crowns his brother and then, as Figgins reads the winner Queen, he announces for the second year in a row there is Prom anarchy. Due to write-in votes, or rather, Santana and Quinn’s rigging, the Prom Queen is Rachel Berry. The crowd slowly starts to clap, and part for her, and the clapping turns into thunderous applause as people reach out and touch her, congratulating her. Both Rachel and Finn look thunderstruck, Kurt looks delighted and Quinn and Santana exchange smiles. As Rachel reaches the stage, Kurt is there to catch her and crown her, whispering “just smile and breathe” as he places the tiara on his best friend’s head. Figgins presents them to the crowd, and Rachel is still nervous as she takes Finn’s hand to dance. She looks around terrified as the crowd forms a space for them to dance as Quinn and Santana sing “Take My Breath Away.” Many students look on in tears, clearly touched by the achievement of this underdog girl who still doesn’t realise how other people value her, and as she asks Finn if he suspects some kind of joke, he spells it out, saying that she is sexy and beautiful, and an inspiration to every single person in the room, and to him. Rachel finally trusts the situation and settles into her boyfriend, happy, and as the song goes on, couples dance and have their photos taken with a model dinosaur. While singing, Quinn manages to pull herself up to a standing position. Santana is the first to notice, and shocked, she rushes to hold her friend up, but as the crowd begins to notice, they stare in shock and begin to applaud. Rachel and Finn continue to hold each other, and Rachel states that she never in a million years would have expected to win Prom Queen, but if people believe in her enough to see her like that, then perhaps anything is possible.
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