Those of us who saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens know that Luke Skywalker’s role left us with more questions than answers.
In the seventh installment of Star Wars, viewers are left without a Luke sighting until the final couple minutes of the movie, when Rey finally tracks him down on the planet of Ahch-To (the name of Luke’s location was confirmed via a script leak and the novelization of The Force Awakens).
Luke and Rey only silently stared at each other, as the latter held the legendary Jedi’s lightsaber.
This twist left so many questions that we probably won’t receive answers to until Episode VIII is released in May 2017. Two of the biggest: Are Luke and Rey related, and what has Luke been doing all these years?
Enter Very Lonely Luke, a new parody Twitter account trying to answer the second question.
Like the other viral Force Awakens parody account Emo Kylo Ren, Very Lonely Luke takes what we know about the Skywalker family member and brings him to life in entertaining new ways.
For example, many of Luke’s tweets reference the events of The Force Awakens:
I'm not sure why Kylo Ren hates his dad.
My dad was gone for my entire childhood.
Then he cut off my hand.
In the end, we hugged it out.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 3, 2016
Before I left I called Kylo Ren a Sith
And he goes "I'm a Knight of Ren"
So I said "Same Sith different day"
I planned it. It was awesome
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 3, 2016
Real original, Kylo Ren.
Like you're the first kid to become a Sith lord because your parents divorced.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 3, 2016
I haven't always been lonely.
I used to have a pretty serious online girlfriend.
Then I found out I was being catfished by Chewbacca.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 3, 2016
When I told Han I was running away, he said "I have a bad feeling about this"
He says that about everything
Once he said it about waffles.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 3, 2016
Leia said "Don't run away & be a hermit. The Resistance needs you"
And I said "You can't tell me what to do. I'm 30 seconds older than you"
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 2, 2016
Many of Very Loney Luke’s tweets really emphasize just how lonely he is up on that mountain:
I threw a boomerang today.
It didn't come back.
Nothing ever comes back.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 4, 2016
Have the last 20 years of my life been a waste of time?
No.
They have not been a waste of time.
That ocean isn't going to watch itself.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 3, 2016
Some people don't like it when I swear
And by people, I mean one person
And by person, I mean a rock
I threw it the ocean
Fuck that rock
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 3, 2016
Lightsabers cut deep, but words cut deeper.
Just kidding.
Nothing cuts deeper than a lightsaber.
It's a sword made of lasers.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 2, 2016
However, he’s not lonely enough to be tempted by the presence of a Star Trek ship:
A spaceship stopped by today.
It was called the USS Enterprise.
I told those guys to beat it.
Even I'm not THAT lonely.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 2, 2016
Many of Very Lonely Luke’s tweets reference recent trends and news, including the new Star Wars character Kylo Ren (played by Adam Driver).
In this first one, he’s blissfully unaware of what happened in The Force Awakens:
I haven't seen Kylo Ren in years.
I wonder if he's outgrown his Dark Side phase yet.
I bet he and Han worked things out.
Good for them.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 3, 2016
But in other tweets, Luke is meaner towards Kylo Ren:
Hey Kylo Ren, I was tempted by the Dark Side BEFORE it was cool.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 2, 2016
Me and Han used to tickle Kylo Ren when he was being a brat.
He peed his pants Every. Single. Time.
Nobody liked that kid.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 2, 2016
Kylo Ren only went to the Dark Side to piss off his family.
If we were all Sith, he would have a poster of Yoda on his wall.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 2, 2016
At first I was sad I never got married and had kids.
Then I saw Kylo Ren.
Now I'm good.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 2, 2016
Kylo Ren, nobody in our family has hair that dark.
We all know you dye it.
And seriously, stop shopping at Hot Topic.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 1, 2016
Vader wore a mask because his face was disfigured by lava.
Kylo Ren wears a mask because his face was disfigured by Han's DNA.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 1, 2016
I taught Kylo Ren just like Yoda taught me:
By making him give me piggyback rides everywhere.
And that's why he turned to the Dark Side.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) December 31, 2015
When I came to this island 20 years ago, I said I'd only stay until George R. R. Martin finished "Game of Thrones."
Big mistake.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 3, 2016
When I face a tough choice, I ask myself, "What would my dad do?"
Probably kill a bunch of Padawans.
I should find a new role model.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 3, 2016
He also offers commentary on life:
I've been saying "WTF" to people for years.
I just found out it doesn't mean "with the Force."
No wonder I don't have any friends.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 1, 2016
I've been thinking about this for 20 years, and I still don't get it
What does stormtrooper armor even do?
Literally everything kills them
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 1, 2016
I would never Netflix and chill.
The Jedi code forbids it.
I Netflix and die alone.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 3, 2016
But it’s not all bad for Luke:
Sometimes I really hate my life.
Then I remember I own a lightsaber.
Things aren't so bad after all.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 2, 2016