UnReal is experiencing a “Too Many Cooks” meltdown. At the end of the day only one person is calling the shots and no one is happy about it.

Ambush, sabotage, torture. All components of guerrilla warfare, all components of UnReal‘s “Guerilla.” There are two camps on UnReal, each in contest with one another while at the same time working to appease one person even if they think they are trying to win something for themselves. The contestants are the show, the “show” being Everlasting. The producers are the brand, the “brand” also being Everlasting. When the producers cannot control the contestants in the way that they want, both the brand and the show fail. Only one person has complete authority over both and, unfortunately, his name is Gary.

The mostly offscreen bigwig from the network wants one thing– suicide ratings without the suicide — and everyone wants to be the one to deliver the live numbers. This leads to a “Too Many Cooks” style episode where the name on the creator, executive producer, field producer, and even camera operator change so many times it is hard to keep track of who is doing what and for what purpose. Is Rachel framing a shot for the network or for Quinn? Is Chet trying to win over Darius to regain is masculinity, or regain the show, and by extension some stability, to win back his son? And who the hell is Coleman?

After two weeks the budding new exec’s credits barely extend beyond documentary filmmaker who won some unnamed, unquantifiable awards for an exposé about Cambodian sex slaves. Sure, it is better than reality television in a lot of ways, and kudos to the fake achievement, but in this alternate reality he is lacking two key skills– a quick mind and a sharp tongue. Coleman can appreciate the fine manipulation of a situation, he sees the math. But he does not have the moxie to execute what needs to be done.

The same goes for Chet. When the episode opened with ATVs blowing up and obstacle courses being installed, I loved it. It’s the perfect extreme to take Chet’s mind and at the same time it was not a half bad idea. Imagine American Ninja Warrior meets the Bachelor. It’s not particularly “on brand” with ball gowns and wine tastings, but it is bridging a gap in the market. Imagine the husbands, boyfriends, or any person trying to get close to someone watching Everlasting. Girls competing in a test of endurance is not what they signed up for when they sit down.

While I see all the ratings good that could come from the this exploration of girls in bikinis, guys sipping martinis with a twist, the real heroes of the episode are the women who can pick up the pieces and sharpen them to stab each other in the back. Quinn was made by the business and while she enjoys the view from the presidential box, she knows that the work gets done by those who get their hands dirty. So she takes on a few of the more damaged contestants and turns them on each other with a few baited lines and assuring head nods. Before you know it an MMA fighter has a professional football quarterback in a headlock and will probably end up under psychiatric care for the rest of her life.

Quinn won, fair and square. But Rachel got under someone else’s skin and, to steal a metaphor from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, turned the neck of the head in control to pay attention to her. In her brief, yet effective conversation with Coleman, Rachel showed her own mastery of manipulation, pushing him to reach the core of his relationship problems in what would take years of building trust in a psychiatrist to reach. She’s good, but Quinn is still better.

I’m not here to condone or applaud Quinn’s actions. They were brutal, unfeeling, and, at the end of the day, unnoticed. She is sure to deliver exactly what the boss wanted, ratings. But she still has to write them on a card and slip them through the crack she made in the glass ceiling of reality television so a man can hand them to the network.

There is no right person to prevent the Everlasting train wreck. It’s heading 1000 miles per hour and only avoids collision because enough people are around to make sure the railroad switch is activated. The best bet for Everlasting at the moment is controlling the chaos with Chet, Quinn, Rachel, Madison, Jay, Wagerstein, and even Coleman having a hand in the operations.

Stray Observations

• In a compelling, tell-all New Yorker piece highlighting the career of UnReal‘s creator Sarah Gertrude Shapiro, it was revealed that Jeremy’s reappearance in season 2 was not the plan. Instead of fighting to remove him from the story, she let this battle go in the network’s favor and wrote a story for Jeremy. So far, I’d say Shapiro is doing a fine job giving Jeremy the character development he deserves.

• Bring on angry-hydra Quinn. Rachel practically cut off Quinn and Chet’s heads and served them to the network on a platter. Quinn’s bound to come back even more vicious than ever. Rachel should be scared, very scared.

• Anyone else really want to watch Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants again?

• Is it just me or is season 2 feeling a bit disconnected this season? Maybe it’s a piece of brilliant writing and execution waiting to come together in an, and I hate to say this, “Ah-ha” moment, but something feels lost in the shuffle and I have not quite worked out what.

Watch UnReal season 2, episode 4, “Treason,” next Monday, June 27 at 10:00 p.m. ET on Lifetime.