The long-running CBS comedy Two and A Half Men bowed out last night after 12 seasons on air. The show attempted to include Charlie Sheen but failed spectacularly.

In the final two minutes of Two and A Half Men’s series finale, Charlie Harper — played by someone who looks like Charlie Sheen from behind — returns from the dead and knocks on the door of his old home.

Just then, a piano drops from the sky and crushes him. The camera zooms out and we see series creator and executive producer Chuck Lorre turn to the camera and say Sheen’s signature line, “Winning.” Then, a piano falls on his head so Sheen isn’t the only one being made fun of in the show’s finale moments. Ha ha?

If the scene doesn’t make any sense, you’re not alone. Longtime viewers were equally unimpressed.

In a statement released after the episode aired, Lorre explained why Sheen himself didn’t return to the show:

I know a lot of you might be disappointed that you didn’t get to see Charlie Sheen in tonight’s finale. For the record, he was offered a role. Our idea was to have him walk up to the front door in the last scene, ring the doorbell, then turn, look directly into the camera and go off on a maniacal rant about the dangers of drug abuse. He would then explain these dangers only applied to average people. That he was far from average. He was a ninja warrior from Mars. He was invincible.

And then we would drop a piano on him.

We thought it was funny.

He didn’t.

Instead, he wanted us to write a heart-warming scene that would set up his return to primetime TV in a new sitcom called The Harpers starring him and Jon Cryer.

We thought that was funny, too.

Lorre’s idea sounds pretty bad. All things considered (some fans are pointing out that Charlie’s “appearance” tonight doesn’t align with when he was a ghost in an earlier episode), it sounds like they shouldn’t have bothered addressing Charlie Harper at all.