The best TV quotes of the week are highlighted every Saturday on Hypable. If you want to know what was funny, sad, or snarky on TV this week, look no further.
Did your favorite show bring on the funny, the memorable, or the meta this week with quotable quotes? Did you laugh out loud from the words of the resident “joke machine”? Will you be making a meme from what your favorite characters said? Are their words destined to end up on a t-shirt or coffee mug?
So, check it out, and see if our picks match your favorites. We want to include your fandom. If we missed something, you can make sure your favorite quotes are featured next week by giving a suggestion to the writer who usually covers your fandom in the recap discussion of the latest episode.
‘Scandal’
Capt. Jake Ballard: “Captain Ballard. Jake is what my friends call me. You’re not my friend, Mr. President. Friends don’t put you in prison for crimes you didn’t commit. They don’t refuse to hear you when you’re telling them the truth. They don’t hit you when you can’t hit back. So when you refer to me from this point forward it will be as Captain Ballard, is that understood?”
Jake lets Fitz know that there is a line that was crossed and there is no turning back. It doesn’t matter that he’s the president, Fitz doesn’t get a pass this time.
‘Revenge’
Emily Thorne: “Why didn’t you come for me?”
The moment that fans have long been waiting for has arrived. Finally, in the eighth episode of the season, Emily revealed her true identity to her father – with help from her infinity tattoo. She came to him only after she discovered that he had been keeping tabs on the fake Amanda the entire time. Had she known that he was there lurking in the shadows somewhere her path for revenge may have never begun.
‘Doctor Who’
The Doctor: ” I am not a good man. And I’m not a bad man. I am not a hero. I’m definitely not a President and no, I’m not an officer. You know what I am? I am an idiot! With a box and a screwdriver, passing through, helping out, learning. I don’t need an army. I never have! Because I’ve got them!”
The Doctor declines Missy’s (The Master’s) offer of an army because he doesn’t need one. After running from the thought of who he is all season, he finally embraces his identity, flaws and all.
On page 2: ‘The Walking Dead,’ ‘Once Upon a Time,’ and ‘American Horror Story’
‘The Walking Dead’
Dr. Eugene Porter: “The smartest man I ever met happened to love my hair. My old boss, T. Brooks Ellis, the director of the Human Genome Project. He said my hair made me look like, and I quote, ‘a fun guy’, which I am. I just ain’t Samson.”
Eugene defends his trademark Tennessee Tophat (A.K.A. mullet haircut) to the group. The simple fact is he likes it.
‘Once Upon a Time’
Will Scarlett: “Mate, when you find someone you love enough to ruin your entire life for, it’s always worth it.”
Will Scarlet and Robin sat down for a heart to heart in Granny’s this week. During the discussion they mulled over their rocky friendship, it also proved to be very therapeutic for Robin. Will’s own love may not be in the picture anymore, but his final sentiment about the risks we take for those we love is enough to convince Robin which path to choose.
‘American Horror Story’
Dandy: “I like Dora better.”
Gloria: “Well, hindsight is 20/20, dear.”
AHS is certainly taking the creepiness of man-child Dandy Mott to a new high as he treats his new house guests like royalty. But while the Tattler twins become acquainted with their new accommodations, Dandy and his mother continue to dine with the new house staff. Dandy is disappointed with the replacement of his recently murdered maid, Dora.
On page 3: ‘Supernatural,’ ‘Arrow,’ and ‘The Flash’
‘Supernatural’
Marie: “That is some of the worst fan fiction that I have ever heard.”
In a truly meta moment, the student director of Supernatural: The Musical reacts to Dean’s Cliffs Notes version of seasons 6-9, which followed the initially planned five-season run of the series.
‘Arrow’
The Arrow: “Masks are also useful for serial killers.”
Ted Grant: “Says the guy currently wearing one.”
The Arrow (Oliver Queen) confronts Ted Grant, whom he suspects of committing a series of murders. in return he gets a sassy response.
‘The Flash’
Barry Allen: “Well, is there like a bed store near here? What if I get a bunch of mattresses and stack ’em?”
Caitlin Snow: “Barry, this isn’t a Roadrunner cartoon.”
Barry, as The Flash, tries to strategize how to rescue a window washer dangling off the side of a building and falls short. It’s OK, he’ll get the hang of it, he’s still pretty new to all of this.
On page 4: ‘Elementary,’ ‘Grey’s Anatomy,’ and ‘How to Get Away With Murder’
‘Elementary’
Sherlock Holmes: “It is commonly believed that a child benefits most from the presence of two parents.”
Joan Watson: “Excuse me, but I am not Kitty’s mother, and she sure as hell is not our child.”
Joan and Sherlock are now on the same page about Kitty’s sordid past. Joan cannot help but break out her counselor past to suggest therapy to aid in her recovery.Sherlock tries, and fails, to create a parenting metaphor that will assign both he and Joan roles in Kitty’s life.
‘Grey’s Anatomy’
Derek: “All I do is hurt people. The last people I want to hurt and I just can’t get control of it. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
Amellia: “I know how you feel. We call it rock bottom.”
After nearly ruining Amelia’s career in Seattle, Derek waits up for her to finally arrive home. In a moment that requires his apology, he instead flips the situation to explain that he is completely lost and not sure who he is anymore. With every choice he makes he pushes himself further away from everyone he loves. He has hit rock bottom.
‘How To Get Away With Murder’
Michaela Pratt: “See what happens when you use your brain instead of your penis.”
Michaela finally scores for the team by using her brains rather than Connor who’s been sleeping with anyone he can think of to get evidence.