Though media is slowly moving past the fairytale archetype of the evil stepmother, the character isn’t usually seen as a hero. In To the Bone, Ellen’s stepmother Susan overcomes the stereotypes to play that vital role in Ellen’s story.
Ellen doesn’t have a lot of consistent support in her life. In battling her eating disorder, she moves from treatment center to treatment center and doctor to doctor. She manages to push them all away before long. She doesn’t make any lasting friendships or have a steady boyfriend.
Even her own parents don’t stick around long to help. Her dad keeps long hours at a nondescript job. In fact, viewers never get to see him in the Netflix movie because he’s always absent. Ellen’s mom, meanwhile, picks up and moves to Arizona with her new girlfriend.
There is one support system, however, who stays by Ellen’s side through it all: Ellen’s stepmother Susan. Recovery from an eating disorder is a long road that never really ends. Stability and support are important tools in overcoming the hardest parts of an illness like that. In To the Bone, Susan is able to provide that for Ellen.
When To the Bone first introduces Susan, we hear Ellen telling the housekeeper that “she’s not my mother.” Ellen doesn’t want to accept the support Susan is giving her. Understandable, since Ellen isn’t used to getting that support. Susan doesn’t always show it in ways that are clear or helpful, either. She’s struggling through this journey, too, after all.
As the story plays out, Susan loves and supports Ellen in the ways she most needs. Here are some of the important ways that Susan supports Ellen throughout To The Bone.
With tough love
One of the first times the audience actually sees Susan, she weighs Ellen. She follows a routine that’s obviously been given to her by a doctor or therapist — weigh, take picture, remind Ellen that skinny doesn’t equal beautiful.
Susan is adamant about the routine if Ellen wants to live there, but she’s gentle with the execution. She wants Ellen to know that she is loved no matter what, but that she has to live by the agreements they made.
Susan often takes on the role of “bad cop” since Ellen’s other parents aren’t around to implement structure. That is shown through the weighing routine. It is also shown when she must break bad news to Ellen, like when Ellen’s mom doesn’t want her to come to Phoenix.
It is shown again when she takes Ellen to meet a new doctor. Ellen doesn’t want to be there, but Susan so desperately wants Ellen to get better that she’s willing to drag her along to new doctors.
Susan talks a lot when they meet the new doctor. Ellen doesn’t like that either, but Susan wants to support and protect Ellen in all the ways she knows how.
With misguided attempts
At dinner one night, Susan gives Ellen a speech of support. It’s clear from comments she’s made about Ellen’s mom that Susan is a little uncomfortable with gay people. Whether she’s religious, politically conservative, or simply hasn’t been exposed to a lot of diversity, she doesn’t speak well of Ellen’s mom.
Susan’s perspective is also jaded because of what Ellen’s mom has done by leaving Ellen behind. But Susan very clearly wants Ellen to know that she is loved and supported, no matter who Ellen loves. She tells Ellen, “If you have that kind of turmoil, you might feel like you don’t deserve to eat.”
She doesn’t express it well, but what she’s really trying to get at is that Ellen should feel like she deserves to eat. Because she does. Susan loves Ellen and wants to support her in any way she can.
At that same dinner, Susan presents Ellen with a cake in the shape of a burger and fries. (The frosting job makes me think it’s a well-intentioned home-made design.)
She uses the cake to make a joke about Ellen’s eating disorder because she’s trying to cope with it, trying to help the family cope with it. She wants it to be something they can talk about, if not joke about. The effort is off-base, but the heart is there.
With kind words
Susan shows her kind words and support to others when she drops Ellen off at the new treatment center. She tries to make small talk with the other residents, like Luke. She wants to meet the doctor, too, to explain Ellen’s tricks.
Susan thinks, if nothing else, her knowledge of Ellen’s habits can somehow be the key for a professional to use to unlock Ellen’s eating disorder. Susan wants to be helpful in some way, to offer what little she has to help Ellen.
When Susan leaves Ellen at the new treatment house, she leaves her lots of words of kindness, like you’d expect from a family member. Call us. We’ll see you soon. Be good. She course corrects after the last one. “Not too good. Not perfect.”
This course correction seems to come from Susan herself, not a prescribed method of communication from a doctor. She wants Ellen to know that she doesn’t have expectations to live up to. She doesn’t have to be a perfect person. Susan doesn’t want to feed the eating disorder. She just wants to love and support Ellen.
With her presence
Susan is the parent most present in Ellen’s life. When Ellen starts treatment with the new doctor, Susan is the first to show up for the group therapy session. Granted, she’s not traveling all the way from Arizona like Ellen’s mom, but the fact that she shows up first for Ellen says a lot about her intentions.
Susan wants to be at that office as soon as Ellen is. She doesn’t want Ellen to be alone. She wants to be there to support her in any way she can.
Susan also drives Ellen to treatment centers throughout this story. We see Ellen taking a cab when she leaves a treatment center, but when she leaves home, Susan goes with her. She supports Ellen as long as she can.
When Ellen finally realizes that she wants to get better, accepts that she has to put in the work to begin recovery, she doesn’t stay in Arizona with her mom. She goes home to Susan. Susan has proven to be a supporting lifeline in Ellen’s life and now that she’s ready to heal, she’s ready to reach out to Susan.
When she arrives home, Ellen gets out of the cab and gives Susan a hug. She doesn’t turn to her sister first, who she bonded with earlier in her journey. She reaches out for Susan. Susan hugs her tight and smiles.
Later, we see her taking Ellen back to the treatment center. Susan asks her, “You sure?” Susan wants this to be on Ellen’s terms. She wants Ellen to feel in control. Ellen reaches for other support in Luke when she gets to the treatment center. But Susan is who got her there.
In the end, Ellen remains her own hero. To the Bone is clearly her journey. She makes the choices to save or destroy herself for herself. Keeping that control proves to be vital to her success. Susan is aware this, of Ellen’s power and role in the story, but she steps up to support Ellen in ways no one else does.
That’s more of a heroic act than anything else. Why? Because its exactly what Ellen needs.