The Lone Ranger is a film with so many problems working against it that it’s hard to know where to start dissecting the obstacles. There are small quibbles like the dead bird that rests on Johnny Depp’s head for the entire movie. But then there are major roadblocks like a production budget of over $200 million which causes more headaches than necessary.

For all the time and money spent on a movie about a forgotten serial,The Lone Ranger should not be as convoluted as it is. Huge chunks of plot make no sense and bring the film to a halt while disposable characters enter and exit for no reason other than to make you scratch your head in disbelief. It’s as if many of the major players behind this production all contributed ideas but none of those ideas were fully fleshed out.

The result turns out to be bits and pieces of wildly different tones and ideas that never come together to form a cohesive movie. It’s no surprise that two of the writers from the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise (Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio) share screen credit for The Lone Ranger since both properties suffer from the same muddled complications.

How bad could a movie about a Native American and a Texas Ranger solving crimes possibly be? There’s plenty of room to argue this point but let’s deal with the main offenses. Johnny Depp, as talented of a thespian when he wants to be, is a cartoonish stereotype as the film’s true lead Tonto (even though Tonto was the Lone Ranger’s sidekick in the original serial). Walt Disney studios and Jerry Bruckheimer are the makers of this mess and they haven’t made me cringe this much since they decided it was a good idea for Jake Gyllenhaal to play the Prince of Persia. Jake Gyllenhaal is neither a prince or Persian and the same backwards casting decisions could be said for Depp, resulting in him playing a stereotype and mugging for the camera the entire time.

The framing device that sets up The Lone Ranger is another unnecessary misstep. It makes no sense to the overall story and only serves as ego stroking for Depp. It’s another bit of irony that a film called The Lone Ranger barely makes use of that character at all. He’s supposed to be the main thrust of this story but as played by Armie Hammer (The Social Network), he doesn’t have much to do except whine and get himself into trouble.

It’s a shame because The Lone Ranger is directed by Gore Verbinski who last worked with Johnny Depp on another western, Rango. That film had a sense of fun and wonder that is nowhere to be seen here. And yes, Verbinski and Depp also worked on the first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies but only the first one counts as solid entertainment.

A bloated budget and screenplay make for a two-and-a-half hour mess that all principles involved should be ashamed of. Outside of a strong finale and an occasionally clever set piece, The Lone Ranger is the epitome of Hollywood masturbation, too much excess and no regulation.

Grade: C-

Rated: PG-13 (for sequences of intense action and violence, and some suggestive material)

The Lone Ranger opens in theaters on July 3.

Editor’s note: Read our interview with producer Jerry Bruckheimer on the resurgence of westerns, casting Hammer, and more.