Sheldon and Amy have become a romantic staple on The Big Bang Theory, but their breakup may be the best move the show has made in years.
It’s easy to understand why Sheldon and Amy are such a popular couple. Sheldon’s rigid personality and unassailable asexuality were firmly established by the time Amy became a regular presence on the show in season 4, and Amy served as an intriguingly challenging force for Sheldon.
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Amy pushed Sheldon’s physical and emotional boundaries, creating possibilities for the character that previously would have been impossible. As Shamy’s relationship progressed inch by excruciating inch, both characters gained depth and resonance — and it was pretty funny, too.
But while Amy and Sheldon have passed various milestones — hugging, kissing, exchanging I love yous — it has become increasingly obvious that something is missing from their relationship: Sheldon does not respect Amy.
Sheldon insults Amy’s field of study. He belittles her scientific skill and professional accomplishments. His idea of “meeting her half-way” in their physical relationship is to harangue Amy about her minimal requests for attention and affection.
Amy has met Sheldon’s mother; Sheldon is utterly disinterested in Amy’s family. Amy is attentive to Sheldon’s needs and comfort; Sheldon’s idea of reciprocation is to make Amy feel guilty by getting her a Christmas present.
The bottom line seems to be that, for Sheldon, his relationship with Amy is all about him. The years of their developing relationship haven’t changed the fact that for Sheldon, his own needs, comfort, desires, and neuroses always come before Amy’s.
Shamy’s breakup in the The Big Bang Theory season 9 premiere was a perfect illustration of this. Sheldon wasn’t concerned with why Amy wanted her space. He didn’t care about her feelings, or examining his own behavior to restore this important relationship. Sheldon just wanted things to go back to normal — to continue taking advantage of Amy as he always had.
Oh, and to insult her whenever he felt like it, too.
Even their ultimate breakup was precipitated, not by Amy’s decision, but by Sheldon’s ridiculous inability to respect Amy’s needs.
And of course, Sheldon’s response is to whine about how wronged he has been by the woman who spent five years trying to make their relationship work.
Sheldon and Amy’s breakup has been controversial among the couple’s many fans. But the fact is, Sheldon’s pattern of selfishness and vindictiveness against Amy has grown way beyond what can be excused by his socially awkward behavior. The genius Dr. Cooper is acting like a stupid, nasty child, and that has to end.
It’s possible that Sheldon and Amy might still have a future together. It’s possible that Sheldon will recognize the error of his ways, and make a commitment to be kind and understanding to Amy. It’s possible that Amy will decide to give Sheldon another chance.
But until them, I can’t help but be relieved that Sheldon and Amy’s relationship has come to an end. The writers of The Big Bang Theory made a brave and honest decision, and I’m looking forward to seeing where the story goes from here.
The Big Bang Theory season 9, episode 2, “The Separation Oscillation,” airs on Sept. 28 at 8:00 p.m. on CBS.