Stephanie Elliot’s Sad Perfect was inspired by her own daughter, and she’s here to discuss the importance of NEDA and to offer more book recommendations.
About ‘Sad Perfect’
For 16-year-old Pea, eating has always been difficult. Some people might call her a picky eater, but she knows it’s more than that, and it’s getting worse. And now there’s a monster raging inside of her, one that controls more than just her eating disorder. The monster is growing, and causing anxiety, depression, and dangerous thoughts. When Pea meets Ben and they fall crazy-mad in love, she tries to keep the monster hidden. But the monster wants out, and as much as she tries, she can’t pretend that the bad in her doesn’t exist. Unable to control herself, a chain of events thrusts Pea into a situation she never imagined she’d find herself in. With the help of Ben, her family, and her best friend, Pea must find the inner strength to understand that her eating disorder doesn’t have to control her.
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The inspiration behind ‘Sad Perfect’ by Stephanie Elliot
I never planned to write a young adult novel. It was the last thing on my mind. We were raising three teenagers and my youngest son had just gotten regulated on medication for epilepsy when my daughter was diagnosed with an eating disorder. I was on parental overload and needed a break. But instead, we jumped into a 20-week intensive outpatient therapy program for my daughter.
Our daughter has ARFID, Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. It’s basically extreme picky eating — the fear of trying new foods. McKaelen would eat a menu of safe foods: pancakes, French fries, pizza without the cheese, bagels, Goldfish, ice cream, and some other junk food, but that was basically her menu, the only stuff she ever ate. People with ARFID are unable to try new foods, without gagging or vomiting, or they simply refuse to do it; they literally are unable to try other foods. Her brothers — an older one, and a younger one — would try any food I offered them. But McKaelen, she was different. She had a serious problem, a real eating disorder.
McKaelen was 15 when we finally figured out she had ARFID. We were thrilled that it wasn’t just something in her head, something ‘made up.’ We were desperate to get help for her, so she started that 20-week intense therapy program four days a week.
One evening, during family therapy night, parents were asked to draw a picture of how we saw our children. I drew McKaelen with a blindfold over her eyes and an X over her mouth because she never ate, and that’s how I perceived her. I wrote the words Sad Perfect, having no idea that would become the title of a young adult novel someday. I just knew that she was very sad, but also, as her mom, she was perfect in my eyes. I kept that picture and didn’t think anything of it.
About a month into therapy, McKaelen met a boy while tubing on the river. When she told me about her day on the river, I had the urge to write about the incident because it had sounded like such an adorable ‘meet-cute’ and, as a writer, I wanted to jot it down as a vignette.
I wrote about my real life daughter meeting a boy and how I imagined it happening, never thinking it would be the start of a novel.
And then I kept writing.
It turned out that I ended up writing as a way of dealing with my own emotions about my daughter’s eating disorder.
On therapy days, I would drop McKaelen off and go to a coffee shop, where I continued to write about a girl who was no longer my daughter, but had some similarities. She had the same eating disorder, and anxiety and depression, but there were other things happening to her, too. She became Pea, the fictional character in my book. For three months my daughter went to therapy and I went to the coffee shop and wrote.
This story became Sad Perfect. And, even though it is fiction, I will forever be grateful for my daughter for allowing me to share such a personal part of her life in this novel.
If you think you have ARFID or you know someone who may have ARFID, there is help available. While it is a relatively new term in the eating disorder community, doctors and health professionals are doing all they can to learn how to properly treat this disorder. Please feel free to contact me at my ARFID website for more information.
Recommended books:
What I Lost by Alexandra Ballard: I’m reading this stunning debut now and it will tear at your soul when it comes out in June. The main character suffers from anorexia and is in residence at an eating disorder center. While she’s struggling to get better, she begins to receive mysterious packages from someone. I just love everything about the main character Elizabeth, and how hard it is for her. She wants to get well, and I really feel for the struggles she’s facing.
Paperweight by Meg Haston: I read this one when it first came out and remember it staying with me long after I finished. Another one about recovery, the main character carried a lot of guilt over the death of her brother. Again, this was one where the scenes in the eating disorder center felt so real to me, and each secondary character played significant meaningful roles. It was a beautifully written, powerful story.
The Weight of Zero by Karen Fortunati: This book is not about eating disorders but about bipolar disorder, but since it also deals with depression and anti-anxiety medication like Sad Perfect, I thought I would include it as well. I loved Catherine and her relationship with Michael in this book and especially loved the strength Catherine possessed despite the mental health issues she struggled with.
The Art of Starving by Sam J. Miller: I just found out about this eating disorder book and I contacted the powers-that-be immediately (OK, I begged Sam!) because I have to get my hands on this book. An eating disorder book where the main character is a BOY! Has there EVER been a book like this?! Something has happened to Matt’s sister, and for Matt, when he doesn’t eat, he feels as if he gets powers—powers that will help him get close to the bullies who made his sister go away. I am desperate for this book, debuting in July, which is a “moving story of body image, addiction, friendship, and love.
About the author
Stephanie Elliot is the author of the YA contemporary novel Sad Perfect (Feb. 28, 2017; FSG). She has written for a variety of websites and magazines over the years and has been, or still is, the following: a book reviewer, an anonymous parenting columnist, a mommy blogger, an editor, a professional napper and the author of three self-published novels. Stephanie currently lives in Arizona with her husband and three children. They are all her favorites.