The incomparable Samuel L. Jackson has given us the Game of Thrones recap we never knew we needed.

The new video arrives a few weeks after the truly extraordinary finale of Game of Thrones season 6. As fans’ hearts finally begin to fall back into normal rhythm, Jackson swoops in with a gloriously uncensored review of the series’ highlights.

“Okay newbie, we’ve only got a few minutes and a lot to cover, so listen up,” Jackson begins, fast-forwarding through the credits to begin at the beginning. The actor urges his audience not to get distracted by the promise of dragons, and to focus on more important issues — like the weather.

Jackson’s Game of Thrones recap is surprisingly light on actual spoilers, avoiding specific discussion of the fates of Ned Stark, Joffrey Baratheon, and Jon Snow. Even the epic and gory Red Wedding is succinctly described — “Let’s just say that some wedding invitations, you shouldn’t accept,” Jackson says.

The video is also sprinkled with hilarious observations delivered in Samuel L. Jackson’s unmistakable drawl. Daenerys suffers from “mo’ power, mo’ problems,” while Tyrion is “a Lannister and a lush, but don’t hold that against him.” Arya works on “her revenge dance,” and Bran receives perhaps the most accurate synopsis of all.

“Bran?” Jackson muses. “Bran tripping.”

Jackson’s recap concludes before reaching most of the events of Game of Thrones season 6, but he’s quite aware of what he’s missing.

“All of this is nothing compared to what we didn’t have a chance to get into,” he promises, feigning ire when he senses that his audience is interested not in politics or power plays, but “these fucking dragons.”

“Here you go!” Jackson yells, over footage of the massive Drogon landing beside Daenerys in the season 6 finale. “Here you fucking go! Are you happy now?”

Oh yes, Sam. We are very, very happy.