S.A. Bodeen, author of The Compound and The Raft, gives us an up-close-and-personal look at the highs and lows of an international book tour.

The Amazing Book Tour by S.A. Bodeen

For years I’ve watched The Amazing Race, wondering what it would be like to race from place to place, to drop exhausted into an airplane seat and watch the latest destination recede as anticipation for the next builds. Recently, I experienced that, author visit style: Fifteen days visiting international schools in the Eastern European cities of Bratislava, Minsk, Kiev, Chisinau, Ljubljana, and Skopje, as well as the island of Malta.

Just the facts:

Presentations given: 33+

Flights taken: 14

Hours in the air: Roughly 40

Hours in security lines, passport control, and customs: 7 (2 of which were at JFK)

Airlines flown: 9 (Air Malta had the best cheese sandwich. Belavia gave us chocolate bars, as did Austrian Air. Croatia Air had the best coffee, served in tiny clear plastic cups.)

Flights missed: 1 (Delta put us up in Paris and gave us each a $1000 voucher for future travel. We did not whine.)

Flights almost missed: 1 (Zagreb airport. It’s a long story.)

Movies watched on trans-Atlantic flights: 4.5 – Whiplash, The Judge, Rudderless, Catching Fire, and half of Interstellar. (It’s okay, I already watched it.)

Hand wipes used: 1 and a half packages

Sick days: 0 (See hand wipes above.)

Cappuccinos: 30+

Croissants: 12+

Hours of sleep per night: varied from 2 to 6. (See cappuccinos above.)

Shortest stay: Slovenia, 16 hours. (A shame, it is absolutely stunning.)

Longest stay: Malta, 3 days. (We found Calypso’s cave and went to the ancient walled city of Mdina.)

Best school lunch: Malta (catered by a former 5 star chef named Ishmael.)

Best cake: Minsk (Had covers of all my books on it.)

Words learned in other languages: Basically “thank you,” “hello,” “goodbye,” and “water” in five different countries. (“WC” is universal, thankfully.)

Number of Kiev airport employees who laughed at my pronunciation of “Chisinau”: 3 (FYI: Quiche-in-ow. Not cheese-in-ow.)

High point: Facing my fears and letting two teachers drag me to the deepest subway in the world.

Low point: When the handheld shower nozzle in Macedonia flooded the bathroom, resulting in a howled “I miss Wisconsin!”

Best souvenir purchase: Green Packer nesting dolls in Ukraine.

Most memorable question: A nine-year-old boy in Kiev: “Do you think your soul will ever want to stop writing?” (Same boy came up afterward and asked for my phone number.)

Funniest question: A five-year-old boy in Minsk: “Why are you so old?” (But seriously, has he seen Dr. Seuss?)

Time needed to decide if I would do it again: None. I’d leave tomorrow. (And, after all, I do have that Delta voucher.)

The Detour by S.A. Bodeen will be available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and your local independent bookstores on Oct. 6, 2015.