*SPOILER WARNING* This article assumes you’ve seen the first three episodes of season 7 of Game of Thrones on HBO. If you haven’t, spoilers abound.
Enjoy this guest post by Amy E. Reichert, author of The Simplicity of Cider.
I love Game of Thrones — the politics, the action, the back stabbing, and the complicated histories that actually matter. Anytime something wonderful happens (welcome to Dragonstone, Dany!) I cheer, but then my soul girds itself for when the bad news will come — because it will.
Bad news = winter = is coming.
Related:‘Game of Thrones’: An open letter to King’s Landing’s wasteful food-throwing crowd
Yet the romance lover in me can’t help but ship so many of these characters. I know GOT isn’t a romance —
heck, I’m not even sure if it’s a traditional epic fantasy. George RR Martin and the TV show’s writers seem to delight in twisting our expectations into knots, then exploding them with wildfire. But I’m a happy-ever-after kind of gal at heart, so I can’t help but wonder what the show’s ending might look like if it were hijacked by romance writers.
So, dear reader, here goes — my proposed HEAs (happily ever afters), complete with ridiculous titles. Agree? Disagree? Did I miss someone?
A SONG OF FIRE AND ICE: Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow
Dany and Jon are absolutely destined to be together. Normally incest is a no-go in romance, but this is Westeros and we’re dealing with Targaryens, so an aunt/nephew coupling absolutely counts as diversifying the gene pool. Not to mention, they would literally be making a “song of fire and ice.” *Wink, wink* I like to think Ghost and Drogon will cuddle like those adorable memes of cats and dogs.
THE LADY AND THE SQUIRE: Sansa Stark and Podrick Payne
After permanently shutting down Littlefinger — probably with a dagger in the Godswood, Sansa is going to want something simple and pure. Young Pod will do nicely. He just wants a strong woman to follow, and she wants someone she can trust who will make her feel oh-so-good. Check and check.
HER SECRET PRINCE: Arya Stark and Gendry
During her revenge crusade through Westeros, she’ll bump into the last-seen-rowing-out-to-sea Gendry, bastard of King Robert. She once offered to be his family, and now he’ll take her up on it. They’ll settle into a small cottage in the suburbs of Winterfell, raising direwolf pups. Her ability to change faces will keep things saucy in the bedroom.
WICKED KNIGHTS: Brienne of Tarth and Jaime Lannister
Theirs is a tale of hate to mutual respect to love. Each time they meet, the tension crackles more. Jaime admires Brienne for the glorious warrior goddess she is, and Brienne knows Jaime’s true and honorable nature — both bringing out the best in the other. When they meet again, their armor and hearts will crash together. Think of their stamina!
AN UNSULLIED KISS: Missandei and Grey Worm
Damn straight they end up together, living a quiet life of never-ending cuddles and kindness and creative lovemaking. With the help of Varys and Theon, they’ll adopt children orphaned by the war because they are the best. They’ll live near Dany and Jon so they can have casual bonfires and roast s’mores together.
WHEN A DAMSEL DESIRES: Yara Greyjoy and Ladies Everywhere
Yara isn’t settling down anytime soon. There’s an entire world of women to explore, and the weather is way nicer than the Iron Islands. When her ships a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
When Amy E. Reichert is not obsessing about Game of Thrones she is usually writing stories that end well, with characters you’d invite to dinner. A wife, mom, amateur chef, Fix-It Mistress, and cider enthusiast, she earned her MA in English Literature and serves on her local library’s board of directors. She is the author of The Coincidence of Coconut Cake, Luck, Love, and Lemon Pie, and the recently released The Simplicity of Cider.