Even before Guardians of the Galaxy was thrown into pre-production talks, fans of the Guardians wondered if their favorite non-human entities, Rocket Raccoon and Groot the giant tree, would ever make it to the silver screen.
Then Marvel unveiled a concept design for the characters, and surprise! Rocket Raccoon and Groot were confirmed to be a part of the adventure, which elevates the Marvel property away from heroes like Iron Man and Captain America and into the budding cosmic cinematic universe introduced by Thor and further explored by the introduction of Thanos and the Chitauri in The Avengers.
Casting updates regarding the Guardians have been circulating almost faster than we can collect them. From Joseph Gordon-Levitt to John Krasinski to Eddie Redmayne, everyone has been under Marvel’s eye for inclusion in the universe, and young actors are fighting tooth and nail to nab a lead role in Guardians.
It’s been known that both Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler are reportedly being “courted” by Marvel for role(s) unknown. With the news that Vin Deisel is being heavily considered for the role of Groot, we must assume that this is part of Marvel/Disney’s search for the perfect Rocket Raccoon.
Carrey and Sandler are both great choices, but we have some suggestions of our own.
The Contenders
In the comics and in a number of animated adventures, Rocket is given a heavy cockney accent and a love for burning lead. Although keeping the accent would be a nice tip of the hat to his character from the comics, Disney/Marvel has earned a reputation for changing things up to better suit their purposes.
Here’s the test. Below we have a gif of our sweet, innocent, dual uzi wielding Rocket Raccoon.
For each of the actors, we’ve included a quick clip of one of their shoutiest performances.
Now, play each clip while looking at the gif to determine who the real Rocket is.
Ready? Go!
Sharlto Copley
This District 9 star is fresh on the upswing from several critically acclaimed turns. He plays the villain in the upcoming Elysium, so we’ve provided a clip below for you to judge if he is worthy of the title of Rocket.
Best moment for raccoon comparison: At :37 seconds in when he yells, “I WILL FIND YOU! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN!”
Patton Oswalt
Aside from being one of the funniest people in this post-golden-platinum-Sharpie age of stand-up comedy, Patton also carries the unique distinction of having voiced a rodent for Disney in the past. Ratatouille‘s Remy was a little more relaxed than the heavily strapped raccoon, but Patton’s comedy has proven that he can turn the intensity up to 11 and a half.
This video is from his album Werewolves and Lollipops, and there’s no better way to see how someone can tap into their animal instincts than by seeing how they deal with a heckler.
Best moment for raccoon comparison: At 2:28, the phrase, “ALIEN CIVILIZATIONS WILL KNOW THAT I AM A DOUCHEBAG!”
David Tennant
Fans of Doctor Who know that The Doctor isn’t a big fan of guns. Too bad. Rocket Raccoon takes the rocket in his name seriously by carrying rockets and machine guns and the like. Either way, Tennant has been rumored to be reading for the role of the raccoon, and after seeing both his performance in Doctor Who and his take on the coward soliloquy from Hamlet below, we would be more than happy to see him grab it.
Best moment for raccoon comparison: At around “48 seconds in when he shrieks “VENGEANCE!”
Gilbert Gottfried
Rocket Raccoon isn’t always shouting. In fact, some of his best moments are when he’s quietly being an asshole to everyone around him. Gottfried has never been great with the whole subtlety thing, but he sure can voice the hell out of some animated characters.
Best moment for raccoon comparison: Every time he has ever said anything ever.
Alec Baldwin
As one of the best actors of our time (just ask his friends in the Film Actor’s Guild), Baldwin has plenty of people chomping at the bit wanting him to be in their movie, especially now that he no longer has any 30 Rock obligations to fulfill.
Baldwin recently revealed that he already turned down the role of a villain in an existing Marvel feature (my money is on Iron Man 3‘s Aldrich Killian), but that doesn’t mean that he’s out of the comic book genre entirely.
Best moment for raccoon comparison: At 2:05 during one of our favorite lines in cinema, “Have you made your decision for Christ?!”
Adam Sandler
Hey, sometimes when you have the right name you have the right name. Producers may end up going with Sandler, who has the name to attract an audience as well as the vocal voracity to have people actually believe that he’s a raccoon with a rocket launcher.
Best moment for raccoon comparison: Just searching for “Adam Sandler yelling” on Google yielded tons of results. We chose the one that fit in best with the GIF above.