The Riverdale season 4 Halloween episode showed us all the reasons we definitely don’t want to live in this town. Here’s our review of “Chapter Sixty-One: Halloween.”

Riverdale season 4, episode 4 played into some of our worst nightmares and the horror movies we’re still scarred from. The episode did a great job of paying tribute to some classic horror tropes from Buried, When a Stranger Calls, and more, while showing off some awesome costumes, scaring us just enough, and moving the story forward.

There was a lot going on in this episode. For the most part, the main characters were separated, and luckily, there were enough tricks and treats for everyone.

Reggie and Kevin became an unlikely duo, but not for long. Kevin quickly ratted Reggie out when given the chance, which I honestly don’t blame him for. Principal Honey was seriously threatening his future, and I don’t know many high school students who would hold up under that pressure.

In season 4, episode 4, Honey continued to demonstrate that he already knows a weird amount about these students, and that he means business when it comes to keeping them in line. Maybe he’s the one leaving these weird tapes on everyone’s doorsteps!

Archie and Monroe are learning that they’ve got their work cut out for them with their community center. All we can do is hope that Archie doesn’t make terrible decisions as a result, but if history is any indication, that’s exactly what he’ll do.

Meanwhile, Veronica may have pulled off her most badass move yet in this episode of Riverdale. I did not expect her to come through with that bucket of oil, but I literally squealed with excitement when she did. I think it’s hands down the best thing she’s ever done on the show.

Admittedly, I don’t know what horror movie Veronica’s story was based on, but it did remind me of the Halloween episode of Dawson’s Creek, when Joey meets the “lady killer.” That’s a fun addition since both Kerr Smith (Principal Honey) and Chad Michael Murray (Edgar Evernever) were on the show!

The most interesting storylines of Riverdale season 4, episode 4 belonged to Betty and Choni.

I really like the dynamic that’s being set up in the Cooper/Jones household. I want to see more of Falice, although I’m disappointed we didn’t get to see how they reunited, and I love that Betty and Jellybean are bonding.

It’s no wonder that Riverdale is as screwed up as it is if kids and parents actually think it’s a good idea to dress up as serial killers from the town’s very recent history. It’s not too big of a leap to go from there to prank-calling people as that serial killer. I’m still not convinced that it was really Polly (and equally not convinced that it wasn’t actually Hal), but Betty’s “no, bitch,” was the highlight of the episode, regardless.

I also really liked that Betty was beginning to bond with Charles until he got all creepy. Is he even the real Charles, or are we going to have another character reveal himself as Charles two seasons down the road? This Charles is listening in on their conversations, which isn’t all that different from watching their houses like the tapes show. Also, he’s the one who traced the call, so he could’ve been covering for anyone.

Unfortunately, I didn’t like the story unfolding at Thornhill quite as much.

First of all, how dare the ghost of Cheryl’s absorbed triplet interrupt what was about to be the hottest sex scene Riverdale has ever blessed us with. Second of all, “Julian” was a very disappointing answer to the question of who the mysterious Blossom triplet could be.

Last, but not least, are we (and Toni) really supposed to just accept that Cheryl wants to have her brother’s corpse around and there’s absolutely nothing crazy or weird about that? I’m going to have a really hard time taking Cheryl seriously in Riverdale season 4 as long as I know she’s just desperate to get home to the ghost of seasons past. It’s even making me question Toni a little bit.

Although Jughead didn’t have a lot to do in this episode, I thought Cole Sprouse did a fantastic job. It would obviously be terrifying to be buried alive, but he really made me feel his pain and fear in Riverdale season 4, episode 4.

His classmates are seriously messed up, and in no way do I believe that he’ll suddenly be welcomed with open arms now that he’s gone through the initiation. Especially not if Moose felt the need to leave the school. Unless, of course, the “Stonewall Four” have become the “Stonewall Five,” after all.

Unfortunately, Jughead wasn’t able to deliver as much emotion in the final scene of Riverdale season 4, episode 4 because he was looking pretty…well, dead! I’m refusing to accept this as a reality of the show. He must be pretending to be dead to fool whoever is watching the town. Yup. That’s gotta be it. I won’t hear any other arguments (but let me know your arguments in the comments anyway).

Since it’s Riverdale’s senior year, each week I will be giving out some yearbook superlatives for the episode. Check them out here!

‘Riverdale’ season 4, episode 4 awards

Cutest couple: Falice! They finally live!
Best Halloween prank: Jellybean Jones
Best costume: Choni’s couple’s femme fatale costumes
Worst official law enforcement: F.P. Jones because somehow Dodger is still a threat even though he shot a kid right in front of the Sheriff
Best unofficial law enforcement: Veronica for putting the heat on “the family man”