Monster movies for those too afraid to watch monster movies

In need of some horror movies this Halloween season? Here are some great monster movies you can watch with anybody.

‘Tis the season to scare your pants off! That is, if you’re someone who likes to go to bed pants-less and afraid. But not everyone loves the spookiness of the Halloween season. Maybe they even hate being scared. Well, scaredy cats, you’re in luck! There are plenty of monster movies you can watch that won’t give you nightmares or make you want to check under your bed.

Zombies

‘Warm Bodies’

Warm Bodies is young romance with a twist. The zombie Twilight that recognizes the absurdity of its story and plays off of that. Zombie Nicholas Hoult saves human Teresa Palmer’s life, and so begins the cute and rather odd relationship. It’s both a zombie film and a romantic comedy, sure to please the horror fans who can’t handle as much fright.

‘Zombieland’

If you need a good laugh, Zombieland and the film below are without a doubt the best options on this list. You don’t need to be a fan of the zombie genre to enjoy either of these films.

Zombieland shows the American zombie apocalypse with nothing short of hick Woody Harrelson on a hunt for the last Twinkie. It’s silly in the best way possible with over the top action, hilarious one-liners, and the perfect cast portraying memorable characters. It’s original, it’s clever, and it never feels like it’s dragging. Clocking in at less than 90 minutes, it’s such a quick and easy watch that you’ll be wishing it were longer.

‘Shaun of the Dead’

The British zombie comedy flick is brought to you by Shaun of the Dead. The first of Edgar Wright’s Cornetto trilogy with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, Shaun of the Dead is a hilarious zombie parody that somehow manages to balance ridiculous wit, ridiculous action, and the just plain ridiculous.

You can’t help but root for these loveable losers as the world around them collapses and they finally have to do something in their life. It’s also quite the who’s who of British comedy actors, so those of you familiar with British cinema will probably have fun pointing out all the familiar faces.

Vampires

‘Twilight’

And the eyes roll.

Criticize all you want, but despite all the flaws of Twilight it can be enjoyable. Just because it wasn’t meant to be a comedy doesn’t mean you can’t have a good laugh! Let’s not forget the music either. Not to mention the aptly timed recent release of the gender-swapped Twilight. After finishing the book, go back and watch this first film again, but imagine Kristen Stewart saying Edward’s lines and Robert Pattinson saying Bella’s lines.

‘Dark Shadows’

Nobody said this list was exclusively good movies.

Look, we love Tim Burton, especially when he collaborates with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, but there’s just no saving this movie. That said, since you know it’s going to be bad, you can maybe enjoy it for the campiness. Laugh at it instead of with it. It’s Halloween after all, you’re supposed to be having fun! At the very least, you can enjoy the visuals (because no matter how bad a Tim Burton movie is, the visuals will always be striking), and the amazing cast.

‘Only Lovers Left Alive’

Unlike the first vampire flicks, this one does not have levity, but it’s a fantastic film nonetheless. It isn’t a particularly plot-driven film. By the end you might find yourself asking, ‘What exactly happened?’, but as the saying goes, it isn’t about the ending, it’s about the journey.

With Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton as our lead vampires, Only Lovers Left Alive shows a more realistic take (as realistic as vampires can be) on beings who have lived for centuries, and the disenchantment they’d have with humanity as the years pass.

Frankenstein and his Creature

‘Frankenweenie’

Remade from his own short film version of 1984, this Tim Burton animation is very classically Burton (and we don’t just mean because it’s in black and white). It’s a sweet story about a boy and his dog, and it isn’t overwhelmed by visuals or a convoluted narrative.

The look is still gothically Tim Burton, and it has the charm and heart of some of his best work. It’s also a definite watch if you’re a fan of Mary Shelley’s novel. This film is full of references to the original story, both overt and subtle.

‘Edward Scissorhands’

Another Tim Burton classic, Edward Scissorhands is a more subtle interpretation of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, and probably even more of a touching story than Frankenweenie.

Perhaps not the most original story, an outsider who is initially accepted by the community then misunderstood and shunned when things go bad, it is still done with grace and subtlety, and the perfect juxtaposition of beautiful melancholic brightness.

‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’

There really isn’t much that can be said about The Rocky Horror Picture Show that won’t ruin the experience for a first time viewer. Rocky Horror is the sort of thing you have to just dive into, and when it’s over, wonder what you just watched.

It’s a musical. The songs are catchy. It’s horror. It’s comedy. It’s fun. It’s weird. Give it a try if you haven’t already. At the very least it will be an experience.

On page 2: Werewolves, witches, ghosts, and more!

Werewolves

‘Teen Wolf’

You know the show and you probably even love the show, so take 90 minutes to watch the movie that (loosely) inspired it! It’s a rather typical ’80s teen movie, though possibly a bit more ridiculous. Nonetheless, it’s fun and funny (when it means to be and when it doesn’t) and an easy popcorn flick if you’re in the mood for some ’80s romp.

‘New Moon’

That’s right, the second Twilight film! Well you’ve watched the first one, might as well keep the momentum going, especially if you’re more into werewolves than vampires. These aren’t comical werewolves either. No men dressed in silly costumes. These are wolves, albeit big wolves. Picture a horse. Now picture that horse as a wolf and you’ve got Twilight werewolves. Even if you’re not into wolves, surely you’re into fit men who walk around shirtless. Are you convinced yet?

Witches

‘Hocus Pocus’

All of you ’90s kids will no doubt have childhood flashbacks when you think about this movie. Perhaps it’s too juvenile to watch for the first time as a teen or adult, but those of us who were obsessed when it first came out will surely remember what made it great, even now.

As a kid it was just creepy enough, it was funny, and it had juvenile fun befitting a Disney horror movie. The real treat though are the performances from Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy. They’re wickedly funny and such a delight to watch.

‘Practical Magic’

A severely underrated witch film (at least to this author, who watched it many times in her youth), Practical Magic stars Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman in this ’90s film about two sister witches who try to overcome a curse that’s been placed on them.

While classified as a romantic comedy, there are definitely spooky moments sprinkled in with all the laughs. It’s an easy watch, and a good film to see with a group of friends. Not to mention how great it is to see two women band together and fight against the evil man who’s ruining their lives.

‘Harry Potter’

There can’t be a list of witch movies without Harry Potter being on it. That would be blasphemous! Of course the recommendation is to watch all the films, but realistically you’ll want to watch some other movies too. In that case, if you can only watch one, choose Prisoner of Azkaban. It’s the ‘spookiest’ and most Halloween-esque Harry Potter film, thanks to Alfonso Cuaron’s dark and moody style. Also there’s a werewolf, so it’s the best of both worlds!

Ghosts

‘Beetlejuice’

An off-kilter haunted house ghost story, Beetlejuice is wacky and funny, showing that Tim Burton knows how to rejuvenate an overdone tale and spin it on its head.

A newlydead couple must live in their old home before they’re granted access to the afterlife. Easy enough, until new people move in and start to change everything they loved about the house. Unfortunately, the couple isn’t so good at haunting so they hire Betelgeuse for help. That’s when the real trouble starts. Michael Keaton’s Betelgeuse is so creepy and kooky, you can’t help but kind of like him even though he’s disgusting.

‘Ghostbusters’

It’s such a classic, you probably don’t even need encouragement to watch it. Yes, Bill Murray is amazing. Yes, it’s hilarious. Yes, it’s a lot of fun. What more can be said about Ghostbusters that hasn’t been said already? Honestly, what are you still doing here, just go watch it!

Miscellaneous

‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’

The great thing about Nightmare Before Christmas is that it’s both a Halloween and a Christmas movie! You get two excuses to watch it each year (assuming you don’t watch it throughout the year just because it’s a great movie, which it is).

Yet another Tim Burton film (have you picked up on the author’s bias yet?), this one is a holiday classic with a great story, great music, great animation, and a great balance of spookiness and humor for kids and adults alike.

‘Gremlins’

You can’t look at that little mogwai and say he isn’t adorable. Who wouldn’t want that as a pet? They’re fairly low maintenance too. There’s only three rules: Don’t expose them to bright light, don’t get them wet, and don’t feed them after midnight. Of course, we wouldn’t have a film if everything went smoothly, so what happens when these rules are broken?

Enter gremlins, the creepy, reptilian, batlike creatures who terrorize the neighborhood and must be stopped. Gremlins is a fantastic horror/comedy that’s incredibly clever, with a lot more wit and grit then you’d expect.