You undoubtedly know the story of Snow White. Even if you haven’t read the original fairy-tale or haven’t seen the ultra-saccharined Disney iteration, you know that it features a wicked witch, a mirror, an apple, and a girl that is “the fairest of them all.”

Snow White and the Huntsman features all of these things, but in a hazy rush to spin a classic tale into something flashy enough for modern audiences, it lost the heart that the characters spend oh-so-much time talking about.

One of the most startling things about this retelling of the classic Grimm fairy-tale is its unwillingness to allow the story to bear a likeness to its origin. This type of blind ambition isn’t always a death sentence (it’s this ambition that put Batman Begins on the map after all), but in this case the story seems more preoccupied with trying to surprise us instead of telling a genuine and earnest story. On this vein, it seemed akin to a twin sister that will wear anything just to separate herself from her doppleganger.

It must be difficult to adapt a story that everyone knows by heart and keep it fresh for a savvy new audience, and Snow White and the Huntsman does its best to include elements beloved from the original tale; but the exclusion of key elements to the story and the retooling of others make important plot points seem only vaguely connected.

It takes a twenty-minute introduction sequence (narrated by Chris Hemsworth for some reason) to explain how the Queen made it to the castle, how three drops of blood made a name for Snow White (Kristen Stewart), how the kingdom withered once the Queen decided to take over, and how White ended up imprisoned in the tallest tower. To the surprise of no one, she escapes (good thing she found that knife-thing outside her window literally one moment before she needed it) and makes her way into the dark forest, thanks to the help of some delightful woodland creatures that she ends up abandoning.

After hearing this, the Queen sends for someone who has braved the dark forest to track her down, mostly because her mirror has just informed her that Snow White’s heart is the secret to her eternal youth. She forces The Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) into her employ, promising him that his dead wife will return to him upon the completion of his task.

Speaking of the Queen, Charlize Theron impresses as the deliciously evil sorceress, but the decision to allow the narrative to explore her past, including a montage explaining how she got her powers in the first place, only served to distract from the story. It was a worthwhile distraction, especially given Theron’s penchant for emitting an evil aura without even trying, but there’s no denying that it seemed like a placeholder to distract us from the fact that both Snow White (Kristen Stewart) and The Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) have run out of things to do in the dark forest.

Stewart and Hemsworth both perform admirably, lending credence to an otherwise dead tale. In fact, no real problem could be found with the stylized acting type, even among all seven of the dwarves (some of whom you’ll recognize). It’s all done in a very straightforward English dialect reminiscent of Shakespearean performance, and the addition of sayings that sound as though they are thousands of years old (and very cliche) only adds to this illusion.

What this incarnation of Snow White does benefit from is a very strong visual style. There are sequences, creatures, and picturesque landscapes (nearly all of which we’ve seen in the trailers) to behold, and the decision to give the dark forest hell-raising hallucinatory powers instead of…well…turning it into the Ent forest from Lord of the Rings ended up being one of the best decisions that first-time director Rupert Sanders could have made.

The visuals twirl, morph and dazzle, but without a proper narrative stringing them together they come off better as immaculate works of art than scenes from a film. A gorgeous scene featuring Snow White approaching a magnificent stag creature is only cut short by hearing a nearby dwarf remark that “this has never happened before” and that “she is the one to end the darkness.”

Without the accompanying commentary from the dwarf, this scene would mean nothing to us. In fact, even with the commentary from the dwarf (who we’ve just met by the way) the moment means very little. You’ll find plenty of these types of moments in Snow White and the Huntsman. There’s plenty of sound and fury in the form of visual effects, but they never find a way to penetrate deeper than your breast-bone.

Grade: C-

Rated: PG-13 (for intense sequences of violence and action, and brief sensuality)

Snow White and the Huntsman opens in theaters on June 1, 2012.