New Year’s Eve is looming before us like a big black pit of depression. So says John Oliver in a new Last Week Tonight web segment.

John Oliver has been taking big organizations to task on his HBO talkshow Last Week Tonight, tackling everything from the Miss America pageant to the climate change debate.

His newest video, released via The Wrap, reveals the truth about New Year’s Eve:

Oliver claims that whatever holidays we’ve just got done celebrating, we can all unite in hating New Year’s Eve.

“New Year’s Eve is like the death of a pet. You know it’s going to happen, but somehow you’re never really prepared for how truly awful it is,” he says. “New Year’s Eve is THE WORST.”

Oliver lays out his argument, stating that New Year’s Eve means three of the worst things we can imagine: “forced interaction with strangers, being drunk, cold and tired, and having to stare at Ryan Seacrest for five solid minutes, waiting for him to tell you what the time is.”

He then graciously offers up some very specific excuses if you have plans you want to get out of.

Skeptical? “Think about it this way: do you really want to sit on your friend’s sofa and watch hummus turn brown all night? No. Nobody does.”

So here’s the best excuse: “Just tell them, ‘I’m doing a cleanse.’ There’ll be no follow-up questions, because nobody wants to hear about your f***ing cleanse.”

John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight will be back in 2015, Until then, “I’m still popping up here occasionally to ruin everybody’s holidays.” Which we appreciate.

Do you agree with Oliver? Is New Year’s Eve just the worst?