The second part of last night’s Glee extravaganza was the long-awaited Nationals episode – the final Nationals for New Directions’ graduating seniors. You can read our full recap of the episode below.

As the New Directions were boarding the bus to Nationals in the final scene of the episode immediately preceding this one, its no shock that the penultimate episode of the season opens on the club already in Chicago for the Nationals competition. Mercedes is laid out in bed with food poisoning, due to an experimental burrito, and this plot line appears to serve zero purpose aside from providing an explanation for Quinn and Tina joining the Troubletones performance. Sue pulls Will aside to discuss this plan, and when he accuses Sue of only caring about winning so that she could regain full control of the Cheerios as promised, she states “your sniping is as expository as it is wrong.” Is there a special word for lampshading exposition in a show? Because I’m not sure I’ve ever seen it done before and I’m not sure if it’s ridiculous or genius. Anyway, Sue is actually genuinely concerned for the kids, and neither teacher wants the group to fall apart due to this setback, so Will reassigns the performance parts while Sue takes charge of getting Mercedes healed.

Emma finds a dejected Will sitting on the hallway floor, and he miserably asks her what will happen to the kids if they do not win. She points out that the kids are aware of the competition and aware that not everyone can be a winner, but Will is not consoled, once again proving that this is really more about his emotions and feelings of failure. He wants to grant them a few days of being able to walk the halls at McKinley feeling like victors, and is worried that he hasn’t done enough for them. Emma reassures him, but they are interrupted by Beiste, who says they need to come down to the rehearsal, where there’s trouble brewing.

In the hotel conference room the kids are using for last-minute preparation, they are all fighting as Will bursts through the door. There’s a physical altercation between Puck and Sam because Puck is trying to study for his geography test instead of dancing, Kurt is freaking out about Unique’s growing recognition and therefore growing threat, and Finn and Rachel are both pushing the group hard to be perfect despite the loss of Mercedes. Santana tries to call everyone to order and reads them the riot act, threatening to go ‘Lima Heights’ on them if they’re not all giving their all. Will steps in and asks them to listen to themselves, to which Santana, my darlingest darling who won me over forever at their first Sectionals competition when she told everyone sulkily “I like being in Glee Club. It’s the best part of my day,” immediately apologises and says “I know, I’m sorry. I always go to the yelling place, I have rage.” Will says that it’s a good thing – that what’s going on shows their passion. He offers them a half-hour break to recalibrate, but they ask to keep going – they’ve been given the first performance slot, which is known to be difficult, so they have to make the best impression. Schue gets them in order, setting the girls to rehearse “Edge of Glory” while Artie helps Puck study and Mike helps the weaker dancers with their choreography, and the team gets back to work.

At the Nationals venue, Rachel, in her costume, nervously paces around the entrance, looking out for Carmen Tibideaux, when she is greeted, in his own special way, by her ex-boyfriend, former Vocal Adrenaline star and now their coach, Jesse St James, played by the delightful Jonathan Groff. Jesse attempts to psyche Rachel out – in the meantime revealing that he’s basically stalking her actions from afar, and she’s a stronger girl than she once was because she kindly calls him on it, saying that she knows that when he’s nervous he gets mean and runs his hand through his hair like Danny Zuko. Jesse, mid-running his hand through his hair, stops himself and drops the pretence, speaking frankly to Rachel about the pressure of coaching Vocal Adrenaline, and how he’d promised to help them get back on top after they lost their winning streak last year. Rachel assures him that he has helped, and that what he did for Unique was amazing. Jesse gets caught up in himself and the stress of the situation, the new competition rules, and Rachel continues to reassure him, telling him that his team will do great, even though New Directions will beat them. He smiles at this, liking her attitude, and he is so clearly and painfully in love with her that it is difficult to watch. He wasn’t, when they were actually dating, I don’t think. But he has very obviously loved her from afar for the past two years and it’s so clear here. I have always found Jesse to be very complex and very vulnerable emotionally under his affectations, something made clear particularly in his episodes in season 2 and 3, and I basically just love every second he’s on screen. The pair are smiling together when Finn comes over protectively, and Rachel says her goodbyes, leaving the boys together. They awkwardly greet each other and Jesse offers his congratulations on their engagement, and you can see it physically pains him. He offers Finn a handshake and the rivals wish each other luck.

In the dressing room, Finn offers Rachel a gift – a glass Chicago souvenir mug. He explains that it is for the wedding, for the Jewish tradition of smashing the glass, because he wants a part of Chicago to be in the wedding, for this is the place where everything is going to change for them, becoming national championship winners. It’s kind of the sweetest thing ever, and Rachel praises his optimism. He tells her that he believes in it so much that he’s actually placed a bet with Rick “The Stick,” for $500 on their win. Rachel is dismayed, fearing that they will lose the competition and their honeymoon money, but Finn won’t hear of it. “Not this time. Carmen Tibideaux is coming, and we’re gonna be perfect, and then we’re gonna get married and I’m gonna smash this glass and then we’re gonna live happily ever after.” He’s so caught up in it and so matter of fact that it’s the cutest thing and I now would please like to be marrying Finn Hudson. What the hell.

Schuester takes a deep breath before entering the dressing room to do his pep talk, but as soon as he starts to speak Finn cuts him off. He reminds Will that he’d once told them “a teacher’s job is done when his students don’t need him any more” and my first response is like, ‘ooooh, sick burn.’ But no, Finn goes on to tell his teacher BFF about how they’d all sat around talking the prior night, and they’d all said the same thing – they want to win this title for him, not for themselves. (Again, why?) Finn goes on about McKinley’s Teacher of the Year awards, and how right now that doesn’t matter, to them, he has that title – he’s the teacher of a lifetime. Will thanks them as the bells start to ring for places, and the whole thing actually makes me pretty emotional, which is annoying because I think that Will is the worst teacher on the planet. If it was a teacher I genuinely believed in, the scene would have me in hysterics on the floor, but as it is it makes me cry, and Glee hasn’t made me cry all season.

The New Directions hype each other up just in time for Mercedes to return, ready to perform thanks to Sue’s crazy ideas for healthcare. They take their places for the nationals performance, as the adults take their seats in the audience and the judges are introduced: Lindsay Lohan, Perez Hilton and local politician Martin Fong, played by Rex Lee. As the New Directions prepare onstage, Santana gathers up Quinn and Santana in a moment of Unholy Trinity sentimentality – “starting together, ending together” before the girls start “Edge of Glory.” It’s a great number, showcasing the voices of Santana, Mercedes, Quinn and Tina, but my main query is about the extra Troubletones. Back at McKinley, extra Cheerios were recruited to the Troubletones as dancers in order to make numbers for the group when they were separate to the New Directions, and those girls are with them onstage today – but they were not on the bus, driving to Chicago, they were not in the rehearsal room at the hotel or in the dressing room of the competition. Did they just pack them in the luggage and then shake them out when they needed them onstage? Glee, you do so well and then little things like this tend to ruin it for me. Anyway, the number is well-received by the crowd, but Rachel, about to go on for her solo ballad, looks anxiously at the conveniently spotlighted empty seat that must be reserved for Carmen Tibideaux. She starts to lose focus, but Finn gets her back on track, telling her to forget everything else, just go out and take this moment for what it is.

Rachel takes centre stage to sing Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back To Me” and honestly, Lea Michele has had a lot of solos on this show, a lot of showstoppers, but this one takes the cake. Celine Dion may not be to every Glee viewer’s taste, some people may prefer pop or Broadway, but this number is the best solo Rachel Berry performance in all of Glee. The tempo and the crescendos in the song, as well as the emotional range, are perfect for her, they completely showcase her. Everyone in the crowd is awestruck, Jesse looks ready to burst into tears, and midway through the song, Carmen arrives, takes her seat and appears to be impressed. Rachel notices, and adds more energy, if that’s possible, and runs off stage into Finn’s arms while the crowd gives her a standing ovation.

New Directions take the stage for their final group number, and they continue reaching the high bar that’s been set for them. “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” is a theatrical story-song that focuses on Finn and Rachel as leads, and Lea and Cory’s performance chemistry has never been better, but it genuinely showcases the entire club. (Say showcase again, Natalie. I dare you.) It’s far and away the best group number that they have ever done, particularly at competition level, and it almost – almost sounds like they recorded it live. The cast is genuinely giving it their all – performing for a huge live audience, and I’m very jealous of the LA Glee fans that got to go along as extras to the taping of these performances. The audience is on their feet well before the end of the song, clapping along, and the applause at the end is huge. Carmen Tibideaux is among them, clapping and whistling for the group.

After the performance, Kurt and Mercedes burst into the Vocal Adrenaline dressing room with a flower for their friend Unique. They came to wish her luck, but Wade declares that he isn’t able to become Unique for the performance and that he can’t go out. Kurt tries to encourage Wade, reminding him of his first Unique performance and how wonderful it was, and Wade says something very poignant – at that time, no one knew Unique, so he didn’t have to be anyone other than who he truly was. Now Unique is known, an icon for something other than just Wade, and the pressure of other people wanting things from something that was meant to be just for you is a very difficult situation, one that occurs a lot. It’s a sad fact that a lot of artists lose things that were theirs, personally, when that factor of themselves is embraced by a public. It no longer means the same thing to them, and that’s what seems to be happening to Unique. Kurt and Mercedes try to encourage Wade, who decides to go on, but when Kurt asks if Wade is okay, he applies make-up silently. As the New Directions pair leave, he tells them “I tell you what, Unique might need to transfer schools next year.” Looks like you won’t be New Directions lead female vocalist any time soon, Tina, sorry.

Vocal Adrenaline take the stage and perform “Starships” by Nicki Minaj and “Pinball Wizard” by The Who. It’s good, but nowhere near as good as Unique’s first number “Boogie Shoes” – as a matter of fact, she kind of looks dead behind the eyes. I am not sure if this is intentional or not, but it really looks to me like her heart is not in the performances. New Directions, however, are intimidated by the show and look nervous when applauding, apart from Unique’s friends Kurt and Mercedes.

Presumably there are a bunch of other choirs, but the next scene is the judges retiring to their judging room. I adore Martin Fong’s obsessive fannish following of show choirs – something that both makes him a good and realistic judge and a realistic character, as these circuits do have dedicated followers. Lindsey Lohan’s attempts to revive her career by playing a heightened version of herself that outright states she’s there to revive her career? Not here for that. Perez Hilton’s lampshading of his douchebaggery, intended to imply that he is not, in fact, a douchebag? Not here for that. They dither around and argue about New Directions and Vocal Adrenaline and I basically don’t care, get these people off of my show.

Much more relevant to my interests: Jesse catches Carmen on her way out of the competition venue. He introduces himself and says that he auditioned for her two years ago and had been told he showed promise. Carmen says that she’s sure he did, but that she sees hundreds of people and starts to leave. Jesse tells her that he’s not there to speak about himself – he heard that she came to see Rachel Berry, and says that there’s something Carmen needs to know: that Rachel is the most talented performer that he has ever met, and that if Carmen takes her into NYADA she will not regret it. He thanks her for her time and starts to walk off, and Carmen recalls the exact details of his audition, including both criticism and praise. This seems to be her way of saying that she’s acknowledged what he’s said about Rachel. She wishes him luck, and Jesse looks very touched. Ten to one that Rachel will never even know about this interaction, excuse me while I sob in the corner.

The final teams are gathered onstage for the winners announcement. Unique is awarded MVP of the competition, but Vocal Adrenaline come in second place, because surprise surprise, the 2012 National Show Choir champions are New Directions. Instrumental music plays as the team hugs and cries, congratulating each other.

The club returns to McKinley en masse, clutching their giant trophy. They enter the school, which has posters and banners celebrating their win, but the other students stare at them in silence. The club looks nervous, and things seem worse when Rick “The Stick” and another jock approach them with slushie cups. Rachel hides her face, and Kurt looks steely, but the slushies are thrown and instead of frozen drink, the cups contain only confetti. This is the cue for the whole school to erupt in celebration. As New Directions cover of “Tongue-Tied” plays, we see a montage of events, including Will receiving a cake, Kurt getting hugged by some hockey player, Rick paying Finn his $500, Sue handing over the prize money to Figgins and claiming her job back from Roz Washington, and Will finding a special Emma pamphlet in his office saying “When It’s Finally Time To Have Intercourse,” and the kids apparently getting drunk in the choir room with some special champagne. Well, after Blame It On The Alcohol, Will did say if they won Nationals, he’s buying. Then we unfortunately see Will and Emma begin to have sex, and, much nicer, a young student asking Rachel to sign her yearbook., and looking on curiously as the girl skips away, delighted with her Rachel Berry autograph. Finally, the group lock their giant trophy in the choir room cabinet and admire it together.

I am sure that the school’s acceptance and celebration of the club is meant to be sweet or something, but honestly, I hated it. What is wrong with those kids, that they now love the glee club? Who cares that they won? It constantly confuses me, like how sometimes they cheer and adore the performances at pep rallies and stuff, and sometimes they throw food. It’s so fickle and bizarre and if I was the glee club I would tell all those people to leave me the hell alone. It’s like the story of Chicken Little – no one wants to help make the bread, but once it’s done, they all want in on it. I say New Directions doesn’t need any of that and they should just eat the bread all themselves. Ergh.

Figgins calls Finn and Rachel into his office and presents them with some special McKinley swag, as co-captains of the reigning champion team. He also gives them a gift of a five dollar bill for their wedding fund, which is both nice and completely bizarre. He asks the couple if he can get the glee club to sing at a special secret event, and they agree.

Will and Emma are preparing to attend the Teacher of the Year ceremony, and Will thanks Emma. She thinks he means about the sex, and then says some awful, awful things about how she did it/wanted to do it because her man is a winner, and deserves to be treated like one, and it’s possibly the worst message about sex I’ve ever seen this show deliver. No, no, make it stop, this isn’t okay to be portrayed as a positive thing. How can you possibly think this is a positive thing? Thankfully we move on, and Will clarifies that he was thanking Emma for the whole year of support. Sue grabs the couple and walks them to the awards ceremony, where she discusses how she is sure to win.

She doesn’t, of course. Figgins calls “the so-called Finchel” to the stage to announce the winner – Will Schuester. Will looks quite stunned, and as Emma kisses him, Sue congratulates him genuinely. Finn tells Schue to hold up on coming onstage, as they’re going to say a few words first. Finn and Rachel both give speeches about what he means to them – again, annoyingly emotional given that I loathe him – before they present him with a song, bringing the whole club onstage to sing Queen’s “We are the Champions.”

Next week, it’s once more unto the breach, dear friends, as we face the final episode of Glee’s season 3, and say goodbye to the original group of misfits that came to be New Directions.