This week, Glee Chat co-host Natalie Fisher writes the very extensive recap to the final episode of 2011, “Extraordinary Merry Christmas.”

Catch Natalie on Glee Chat or follow her the Glee Chat tumblr, her personal blog, or on Twitter @nataliefisher!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year at William McKinley High School, and as Mercedes belts out All I Want For Christmas almost as well as the little girl in Love Actually, the newly re-combined New Directions decorate their choir room. It’s an enthusiastic whirl of present-tossing, tinsel tug-of-war, and rich winter fabrics, and the end result is a display more lavish than any department store. Best moment: the searingly hot look Sam gives Mercedes as she dances around him at the piano. Jones, if you don’t want him, I’ll take him.

Rachel approaches Finn in the hallway and presents him with a list. “I thought we agreed the ‘things we did wrong this week’ list was hurting more than helpful,” Finn says, and I promptly die in a fit of hysterics. When this show gets its absurd pathos humour right, it knocks it out of the ball park. But no, Finn, it’s a Christmas list – Rachel’s been told that her boyfriend had really been struggling for gift ideas. In another laugh-out-loud moments, we then see a flashback to the boys locker room where Finn is asking for advice, which Kurt overhears. “Socks,” Artie suggests, while Mike and Rory respectively recommend “a wok” and “soil.”  Blaine, combing his hair, backs up Artie’s idea of socks, and the entire fandom is required to suspend their disbelief in order to accept that Blaine actually knows what socks ARE. Maybe in the Anderson household, socks are the gift representing ultimate love, and Blaine doesn’t have any because his daddy doesn’t love him. “Who told you? Kurt?” Finn demands to know. “No!” she exclaims, in sync with Kurt’s blunt chime-in of “Yes.” as he passes them in the hall. It is another beautifully hysterical moment and I’m actually pretty impressed with how solid this episode is so far, given how truly, truly awful last year’s A Very Glee Christmas was. Anyway, Rachel has an extensive list of things for Finn to pick five items from. They include things to give her the edge, style-wise at NYADA auditions – jewellery, teeth whitening, spray tanning. “Holy crap,” Finn says to himself in astonishment as Rachel waltzes off. “I’m dating Kim Kardashian.” And ladies and gents, we’re four for four.

Sue calls Wheels, Porcelain and Other Gay into her office. She has graciously forgiven all the ways in which they have ruined her life – “We… accept your forgiveness?” a beautiful line which I am totally stealing – and in the spirit of Christmas, would like their help volunteering at the Lima homeless shelter. In a spectacular show of continuity, Kurt and Artie remind her that she has stated before that she doesn’t believe in homelessness,  and had called them urban campers. (Thank you, Ryan Murphy. Thank you for for hiring a team of writers to have the sense that you lack and who were willing to go back over the past seasons and find moments to throw back to, instead of pretending that at any given moment that no incident in Glee before this one ever existed.) Sue tells Stumbles, Gelfling and Young Burt Reynolds – Blaine looks very chuffed at this nickname – that this will be her first Christmas without her sister and that she is trying to keep busy. She’d originally planned to go shooting reindeer from a helicopter with Sarah Palin, but unfortunately that had fallen through. Kurt tells her the club would be happy to help.

Back in the Santa’s Village the choir room has become, Rory tells the others that this will be his first Christmas without any of his family, and he wants to sing about it. He sings Blue Christmas, which he dedicates to his family and to ‘The King’, to which Kurt asks, slightly horrified, if Rory means Jesus. Blaine incredulously glances at Kurt and silently mouths ‘no’ in a way that could better be described as “oh gurl. Really?” That kind of genius background stuff is seriously what keeps me watching this show.

Sidenote: Kurt looks incredibly bored during this performance, and I don’t know if they just caught his expression at the wrong moment, but everyone else is all soft-eyed and crooning along, and he’s kind of rolling his eyes. (http://i44.tinypic.com/2is88ld.png) He also acted very similarly in Rory’s first solo to the club, back in Pot O Gold, and it makes me wonder if Chris Colfer has been given some character notes saying “Kurt disapproves of Rory” because I’m not sure what the deal with this is.

Rory finishes, and besides a thumbs up from Sam, the general consensus of the club is “That’s nice, but please stop depressing us.” Tina, because apparently it’s in her contract that she may only have lines that are blatant exposition, reminds the club of why last Christmas was so crappy. Mr Schue bursts in and says that a Mr Don Barowski, the station manager at Lima’s public television broadcasting station, has seen their performances and asked them to make a Christmas special. Rachel hopes desperately that he has accepted the offer, and Schue says he has, and that he’s nominated Artie, after his experience with West Side Story, to direct it as well. “I swore that I would never sell out and do television.” Artie states, and if this is not a “ooh, burn” reference to the fact that Matt Morrison himself is “selling out” and directing this current episode, then I will eat Kurt’s weird hat.

Sam finds Rory at his locker and commiserates with him about being lonely, and away from their respective families, sharing that they never thought it would be so hard. Rory shows Sam pictures of his family in Ireland, and Sam invites Rory to spend Christmas with him back in Kentucky. He also offers to be Rory’s emotional support in this hard time at school when everyone else is so excited.

Mercedes, really. It’s cool. If you’re happy with your boyfriend? I’ll do you a solid and take care of Sam for you. Really. Just say the word.

Mr Barowski meets Artie at the school to talk about the special. After pretending Barowski didn’t offend him horribly about being crippled, Artie says he has two demands for making the programme – that, after Chewbacca came to him in a dream (and yes, Lucasfilm sent over the REAL Chewbacca and all the cast tweeted adorable, stoked-out-of-their-minds pictures with him on set) it must involve Star Wars, and secondly, that he wants to film it in black and white, as an homage to Old Hollywood and the era of programmes like the famous Judy Garland Christmas Special. Dude says he can do whatever he wants as long as it doesn’t exceed his budget of $800.

In the auditorium, on a set of about 30 Christmas trees and knee-deep fake snow (I’d say that’s the $800 budget blown) Rachel sings River by Joni Mitchell as the club watches from the seats. Artie criticises her performance, saying that it doesn’t fit his vision and that it makes him want to kill himself. He tells the club what his vision actually is – the Swiss Alps, a roaring fire in perfectly appointed winter chalet belonging to Kurt and Blaine, who welcome the others into their home for fun and cheer. “Are you telling me I’m not invited to Kurt and Blaine’s for Christmas?!” Rachel says, overcome nearly to the point of tears, and it is so funny that it may actually be my favourite delivery of a line that Lea Michele has ever pulled out. “Not unless you pick a happier song.” Artie tells her. He goes on and explains the evening will conclude with Rory, dressed as the Christmas elf, reading an uplifting tale – Frosty the Snowman.

Sam points out that Frosty is not a fun story, that at the end, Frosty melts and dies. Artie says that he is “re-booting” Frosty and changing the story, and Sam becomes angry, asking why they have to deny that Christmas can sometimes be a depressing time – and that the sad things make you remember what is really important. Artie rejects the idea, and Sam chooses not to be involved, deciding to go see if he can help out a charity. He asks Rory to come with him, but Rory decides to stay. Sam swallows hard but says nothing as he walks out. (Really, Mercedes. Any time. Let me know when you want me to tap you out. I got this.)

Another Finchel hallway scene, and Finn offers his sympathies about Artie rejecting her song. Rachel expresses her determination to still get a song in the show, and also coerces Finn into giving her a gift on the spot. She’s been hinting and hoping for earrings, but Finn proudly presents her with a card saying he’d sponsored a pig in her name, to be fattened up and fed to an African family. “You gave me a dead pig for Christmas?” “No no, it’s not dead yet, you gotta get it fat first.” “I’m a vegan.” – Seriously, Lea and Cory are both killing it this episode, humour-wise. The lines are only half of it, their delivery is just killing me. Rachel, you’re a maniac. You’re also Jewish, which brings up a whole other bucket of questions as to why you care so much about Christmas, or why you didn’t pull out the “eight gifts for eight nights” Hanukkah tradition, but Rachel is very clearly swept away in one of her moments of having a perfect vision and wanting the real world to slot into place the way her vision does. She sweetly and condescendingly tells Finn to try again on the gift front.

Blaine and Rachel perform Extraordinary Merry Christmas, which was written specifically for this episode. It’s possibly the weirdest Christmas song of all time, but those two hobbits are so freaking perfect performing together that it’s actually sort of amazing. Kurt and Rachel is something very important to me and possibly my favourite relationship on Glee, but Blaine and Rachel also holds a very special place in my heart. You know how on Star Trek, they say that Spock and McCoy are meant to represent the two halves of Kirk’s personality? I feel like if you mashed Kurt’s personality – (his ambition, his ruthlessness, his visions of perfection) and Blaine’s (his sheer joy, his need to be liked, his idealism and naivety, the way he gets caught up in emotions and performances and expresses his feelings externally) together, you’d get Rachel. She and Blaine are so incredibly cheesy here, but because it’s them, it doesn’t feel like the show is being cheesy, it just feels like these are two super over-dramatic people – which they are. They play off each other so well. They are Rock Hudson and Doris Day. They are Ryan and Sharpay Evans.

Artie approves the number and Rachel nearly melts with relief. Sue comes to check on their progress and reminds them about their commitment to the shelter. Artie says they can no longer participate, as it will be when they need to tape their Christmas special for the PBS, and she argues with them. They try to defend themselves, but they look troubled – especially Quinn.

The next 15 minutes show us the final product of the Glee Holiday Spectacular. From the “long time ago” Star Wars intro, the entire thing is beyond proper description, because it is so insane, but I’m going to make some dot points of key things.

– The credits, everyone’s faces, I just can’t.

– It opens on Let It Snow, which is a Kurt and Blaine duet and apparently the only time I like them singing together is at Christmas because this is kind of epic. It isn’t Baby It’s Cold Outside, vocally and chemistry-wise, but it makes up for it with the choreography and the “acting.” I will be watching this one a LOT of times.

– Kurt welcomes the audience, and introduces himself and his “um, best friend and holiday room-mate, Blaine Anderson.” – this is very much the old “a couple of confirmed bachelors” line that used to be used to reference gay couples, but the placement of the laugh tracks makes you know that they’re not trying to hide it, that they are making fun of it. It is freaking hysterical, not even going to front.

– Kurt bidding on the Elizabeth Taylor auction. They timed that incredibly, to be the most current reference possible – it really did happen tonight. Glee’s references are going to get dated SO fast, but to be seeing them as they happen is always kind of cool.

– Lea Michele has this fabulous way of making Rachel look super nervous when she’s actually in the public eye, like she makes Rachel over-act, and do crazy eyes. She does it here and it is moments like that – actually, this whole episode – when I really appreciate what a good actress Lea is. But it makes me worry about what will become of Rachel when she actually tries to pursue a career as a performer.

– The lamp-shading of Blaine’s ridiculous clothes. I died. And if Glee knows that everyone thinks it is a massive joke, does that mean it can change? Like seriously, who did Darren Criss annoy in Glee’s wardrobe department. His suit here is flawless though.

– I actually need to take a moment to talk about Darren here, in this entire special. It is no secret all over Hypable that I am the world’s biggest Darren Criss fan and that I would love anything that he did. But this is his genre. He was born into the wrong era – the others are playing at being Old Hollywood, he IS Old Hollywood. I know that’s the point of Blaine’s image, but putting him into black and white and putting him in that era? God, it is uncanny. Everything that he does in this  – his tone of voice, his smile, the looks he shoots directly into the camera, the way he delivers his lines and sings, the way he laughs, the way he moves, even the way he clutches his lapels or stands and puts his hands in his pockets. It is not an affectation, or over the top the way it is for the others. It is so, so real, so natural, that is exactly the performance style in those old films. The others are playing with it, he’s doing it for real. It is incredible. And has made me stoked out of my mind that I will be seeing him in How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying. The only thing that could have made his performance here better would be if he’d actually got to play the piano.

– Rachel, Mercedes, Kurt and Blaine perform My Favourite Things which is… not a Christmas song? And I am actually ashamed of how much its feel-good-iness actually works on me.

– “And then I said to Justin Timberlake, ‘That’s not eggnog’” I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY GOT AWAY WITH THIS JOKE.

– Finn and Puck entering dressed as Luke and Han – wait, sorry, that’s copyright infringement, any resemblance to Star Wars characters is purely coincidental. They perform a rock version of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, with a kickin’ harmonica solo from Blaine.

– The last guests are Santa Mike Chang, Brittany, Santana and Tina, with the Cheerios, and they perform Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses. There is nothing about this number that does not confuse the hell out of me. But can I put Santana in that outfit on my Christmas list?

– The special ends with Itchy, the Holiday Elf, coming out to read the group a story. Rory chooses not to recite Frosty the Snowman, and instead reads to them from the Bible. Everyone looks moved, especially Puck, who’s also Jewish.

Notably absent from the special are Sam and Quinn. They’re down at the shelter, helping Sue serve food and talking. Sam tells Quinn he’s happy she’s made it through her rough year and that she deserves good things. (Mercedes Jones, take this boy back RIGHT NOW.) Quinn tells Sue that she doesn’t think they have enough food to serve everyone there, and just in time, the glee club, along with Emma and Schue, burst in with the Christmas dinner they used for the special, and Sue looks very pleased and proud. She even calls Artie “kiddo”, which, for Sue, is the equivalent of calling someone “sweetheart”.

Puck’s hat in this scene: deserves its own line of text.

The group performs the Band Aid single, Do They Know It’s Christmas, and spread joy and general cheer, because it’s Glee and singing fixes everything. But oh god, beautiful imagery – Mike Chang dancing with a small girl, and oh god, Santana being defencelessly happy rather than smirky, and oh god, Sam bopping kids on the head. (MERCEDES.)

Back at school, Rachel meets Finn in the hallway… again… where they both have something to show each other. Rachel shows Finn that she now appreciates her sponsored pig and has decorated the picture and named the pig – what else – Barba. “I just hope that pig Barbra inspires all the children who eat her just as much as the real Barbra inspires me.” Glee, how do you even say these things. Anyway, Rachel apologises sincerely for her previous materialist behaviour, but Finn has another gift for her – a star. A real star. He hasn’t named it after her, though, because he says that there’s already a star called Rachel Berry. He named it after himself, so that she’d always know that he was looking down on her. This moment is sickeningly sweet and such a beautiful example of how well-meaning both Finn and Rachel are, even though it often fails in the execution. It also feels, weirdly, a bit like they’re foreshadowing Finn’s death, but it’s Glee so I don’t think that’s what I’m meant to be getting from this. He also gives her the earrings she’s been hinting at, but she is overwhelmed and takes him to return them, as well as her expensive gift for him – an iPod. They go to where Sam and Rory are bell-ringing and collecting money for charity and donate the money from their gifts. They exchange sentiments about the true meaning of the season and join the boys in their bell-ringing, but the real Christmas gift here is Sam in that green knit hat. Any time, Mercedes. Any time.