Glee this week was “Guilty Pleasures,” an episode all about the embarrassing music that everybody secretly loves. The theme also extended to explore some more deep-seated personal shame for some of our favorite characters, including Jake, Kurt and, unrelatedly, Blaine. You can read our full recap below.

This episode opens on Blaine attempting to slip his good buddy Sam some cash-dollas, coyly telling Sam not to make a big deal, but that he wants to help him and his family. Sam is totally confused by the gesture, and it turns out that, the day before, Blaine spied Sam stealing bags of food from the school cafeteria, and Blaine – assuming this is to do with Sam’s family’s poverty – doesn’t want his friend getting into trouble, so he tries to give Sam fifty bucks to buy groceries. Realisation dawns on Sam’s face as he explains that Blaine got things wrong – that yes, Sam has been pilfering dried pasta, but that it isn’t for food, it’s for his macaroni art.

He makes Blaine swear to keep the lame hobby a secret, and shows him some of the incredibly realistic portraits that he’s created – Emma Stone, Ralph Macchio, even one of Kurt. Blaine thanks Sam for telling him the truth, and Sam asks Blaine to ‘fess up himself, about his own guilty pleasure: “Everybody’s got that one thing that they like, that they’re so ashamed of, that they refuse to admit it to anybody.” Blaine’s transfixed by Sam’s mouth as he talks, and it’s pretty obvious what Blaine likes and is ashamed of, but he weakly stutters out that he loves the band Wham!. They’re interrupted by Tina, who tells them that Schuester is out sick, and therefore not in the episode. Tina! For once you are the bringer of joy!

Upon hearing this from Tina, Sam sarcastically enquires, just out of curiosity, will Tina be going over to Schue’s house, straddle him while he’s passed out and rub ointment on his chest? Tina glares at him as Blaine tries – and fails – not to laugh. Man, I love that apparently everyone knows about the Vapo-Rape and calls it out as the creepy-ass shit it was, because, ew. Still. Ew. Tina tells the boys not to bother coming to glee club, as it will be cancelled, but Blaine looks at Sam and muses, “Not necessarily.”

Blaine and Sam call a glee club rehearsal. When everyone asks why they’re still meeting even though they are Schueless, Blaine – who comes from the Warblers, who don’t have a faculty advisor whatsoever – tries to instill some drive into the club, saying they can’t afford to miss a week of Regionals preparation. Sam announces the week’s assignment – guilty pleasures – and the rest of New Directions look at the enthusiastic duo blankly. Blaine chides them, saying everyone has some musical guilty pleasures, and when Ryder asks if Blaine really expects them to sing one of those songs for Regionals, Blaine says no, he doesn’t, but that he and Sam had a great conversation about their guilty pleasures which made them feel safe and liberated, and if the whole club experienced this together, they could become a more cohesive team. 

Sam nods along and asks if there’s anything anyone would like to share, but the club continues to stare doubtfully. “Guys, this is a great team-building exercise,” he insists, and actually, it kind of is – way better than most of the stuff Schuester dreams up when he’s off staring in the mirror oiling his hair – and I really hope that showing the students as competent leaders is Glee‘s way of hinting that we can get rid of Will, properly, really soon.

Jake, raising his eyebrows, challenges Blaine and Sam to put their money where their mouths are, but this week’s leaders are one step ahead – they strip off their hoodies to reveal Wham! “CHOOSE LIFE” shirts and begin to perform “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.” Some of the other club members join in, and for a minute I get really excited because I think this is going to be a choir room group number, which they NEVER do these days – choir room is only for solos or team performances, they never do whole group numbers running around the choir room any more. Remember “Gold Digger”? “My Life Would Suck Without You”? “Forget You”? Choir room group numbers are my absolute faves and this starts out as one for a few seconds, but unfortunately it quickly shifts to a semi-fantasy auditorium performance, including sequences glowing under a black light with the whole club jitterbugging in fluoro t-shirts and shorts.

The next day or something, Brittany confronts Kitty about her mean behaviour, bluntly telling her that no one likes her and no one will work with her. Kitty says that she’s been trying to change, and Brittany offers to help her, inviting her to come on Fondue for Two and bare her soul. “So, Kitty. Everyone at school hates you, because you’re a two-faced lying slut who no one can trust,” Brittany states on-camera. Kitty nods, saying this is true, but that people keep telling her secrets anyway, which – yeah, why do they do that? I’m looking at you, Marley.

Brittany invites Kitty to play a little getting-to-know-you game in order for people to relate to Kitty more. They exchange some bizarre guilty pleasures – “Lord Tubbington’s guilty pleasure is Scientology” – and bond over their love of the terrible sequels in the Bring It On series. They reach a stalemate where Kitty will not admit her biggest guilty pleasure, and, too embarrassed, she whispers it in Britt’s ear, and looks traumatised.

Kurt, in an acting class at NYADA, inner monologues about how even his acting is an act, because in the exercise, which is meant to relate to secret memories and fears, he’s covering up his true day-to-day shame, over things like Richard Simmons work-out videos; but he reveals that his biggest guilty pleasure is his “boyfriend arm,” a pillow with a fake arm that hugs you in your sleep. “I ordered it one night while on Ambien,” he admits, as Glee steals from Chris Colfer’s life story once again, and goes on to say that if anyone ever found out – Adam, Blaine, even Rachel and Santana – it would destroy him.

Yeah, right now I don’t think Blaine’s too concerned about you right now, Kurt, as Sam comes to him in the locker room to admit that he’s been holding out on a deeper secret, something that he’s kept buried for as long as he can remember. He’s practically having an existential crisis. “Do you… have feelings for me?” Blaine asks, going into supportive mode while badly suppressing wild hope, as he wonders if Sam is coming out. Sam looks astounded but quickly realises that it had kind of sounded like that, and assures Blaine that no, that’s not it, it’s way worse.

His deep-seated sense of shame, the inner turmoil that he’s been hiding? “I like Barry Manilow,” he whispers to Blaine, who doesn’t quite catch it, and when Sam repeats it it’s a loud snap, which causes everyone around them to freeze and stare. Blaine apparently understands just how dire the situation is, telling Sam no, he can’t say that, he must shush immediately, but Sam poetically insists that Barry knows his soul, that he loves the stories in the songs and he just can’t help himself. Blaine tries to stay supportive and tells Sam that he should ‘come out’ about it to everyone, and that he won’t feel free until he does.

Unique, Marley and Tina, who have been watching Fondue for Two online, accost Kitty and Brittany in the hallway – as fans of the show, they demand to know Kitty’s big secret. Kitty won’t tell, but Brittany does – it’s the Spice Girls. Bitch, please, in what world are the Spice Girls something shameful? Especially compared to Bring It On: Fight to the Finish? From the way Kitty was acting, I thought she’d revealed that she was into something super messed-up, like child porn. The girls all pause for a second, stare, then start to scream in joy, all admitting their love and quickly deciding that they all must do a Spice Girls number for the week’s assignment.

Santana, who has moved back into the Bushwick apartment without explanation – but let’s face it, she probably just came back and demanded to be let in – is getting her own way with Kurt by holding the threat of revealing Brody’s secret to Rachel. Kurt’s trying to protect her, he thinks it will mess her up too badly if she finds out before her audition for Funny Girl – I guess that’s still a thing that’s happening – and as Rachel continues to pine over him, we discover that Rachel doesn’t know why Brody left, just that he has left, with no real explanation. Santana taunts Rachel about this, or pretends to, in an attempt to cover up the fact that she knows exactly why, but she attempts to cheer Rachel up by suggesting they play a prank on Kurt. I don’t understand pranks, they just seem like bullying to me, but whatever, Rachel is tickled by the idea.

They sneak into his room while he’s asleep, to soak his hand in water in an attempt to make him wet the bed, and to their great shock they discover Kurt in bed with Bruce, his boyfriend pillow. Rachel exclaims over the arm’s creepiness, and Kurt blearily defends himself, mumbling wildly as he explains – “I kept thinking about the ad, you know, ‘are you lonely, do you need companionship’ yes, yes, I need all those things.” Creepy or not, it is, as Santana states, probably safer than trolling Grindr.

Sam, terrified, pulls himself up in front of the glee club to announce his status as a Fanilow. What starts out as a quiet admission escalates into a defensive rant as the glee club – you guessed it – stares in silence. There’s a lot of blank staring in this episode. “This is who I am, and I make no apologies,” Sam finishes up, and performs “Copacabana” for the glee club, complete with ruffly jacket that I am sure has a technical name and is most commonly seen in conjunction with a plastic fruit headdress.

Now, I love this song. I won’t call it a guilty pleasure because I don’t really do guilt – I’m not ashamed of anything I like, whatever the genre. I really like this song and Sam sounds amazing on it – vocally maybe the best he’s ever sounded, his tone is lovely. Can we get him some Sinatra next? Put him in a suit and let the boy croon.

The club members join in on this one, singing along, prancing around and acting out the song’s story. It’s pretty close to being a beloved choir room group number, and I love everything about this song and performance in general – a total highlight of the season for me. At the end, everyone cheers for Sam and most of the other glee club boys also admit to liking Manilow as well. Sam can’t believe it, but Blaine explains that that’s the point of guilty pleasures – that they’re things lots of people like, but that it was brave of Sam to be the one to stand up and say it out loud, opening the door for others.

The McKinley Spice Girls have a meeting to work on their number. Many bad British accents are attempted as the girls jump around throwing the V sign and talk about who should play whom. Kitty, in an attempt to be nice, says that Marley should be Posh Spice, “because you’re so skinny and you make everyone uncomfortable!” Their delight is interrupted by the entry of their final member, Tina, who returns to her role of professional joy-killer, as she tells them, shellshocked, that something horrible has happened. We cut straight to the reveal of what this is as Marley storms down the hallway, shouting at Jake, who’s at his locker. “Tell me it’s not true,” she demands, cold and angry. “Tell me you’re not planning to sing a Chris Brown song.” Ooooooooh.

Sam finds Blaine in the library, indulging in a pile of Goosebumps books – I guess they’re meant to be a guilty pleasure of his – and they notice that their guilty pleasure exposure seems to be spreading to other students in the school. Let me ask, since when is the glee club so influential? They always seem to affect the school in big ways, they’re the hub of everything – surely they, by now, are the elite. Why do they only have twelve members – at most – and still get shunned whenever the plot requires it?

Anyway, Sam tells Blaine that all week he’s been leading this guilty pleasures excercise but he hasn’t really come forward himself with any confessions – he’s been talking the talk, but Sam needs him to walk the walk. At this point, it’s kind of obvious that Sam knows what Blaine’s hiding, knows that it’s hurting Blaine, and he’s trying to encourage Blaine to just come clean and let it go, that it’ll be okay. This friendship, you guys, they are beautiful.

Marley, followed by the other four, drags Jake into the choir room to yell at him about supporting Chris Brown, and the discussion that follows is actually one of Glee’s finest – the quality reminds me of that weirdly great conversation they had about religion in the “Heart” episode of season 3. “I get that Chris Brown is a douchebag,” Jake begins, and the Spice Girls all accost him in a circle, yelling over one another about how terrible he is – Kitty even references his recent fight with my boo Frank Ocean – but Tina sums it up with the most important fact: “He beat up his girlfriend Rihanna, and then he got a picture of a battered woman tattooed on his neck, the dude is a psychopath.”

Jake states that he knows, that he understands – and that’s why he chose the song, because he does not like or approve of Breezy, but he does like some of his music, and he feels guilty about that fact. He goes on to say that in glee, they do songs by people like Whitney Houston and Britney Spears – people who aren’t role models – “You shut your mouth,” Brittany interjects – and even Rihanna herself, that they always do Rihanna songs but that performing her songs doesn’t mean they’re agreeing with her personal choices or the message that her reconciliation with Chris Brown sends.

Jake makes a reasonably fair point about separating the art from the artist, one that I would say applies to most people and their shortcomings, but I’m on Marley’s side when she says that when it comes to Chris Brown, she can’t hear his music without thinking about how much of a terrible person he is. “If there was a list of people’s music who we should never do in this room, Chris Brown would be at the top of that list,” Tina adds, and the girls all give final retorts, leaving Jake to his thoughts.

In New York, Kurt has a surprise for his roomies – boyfriend pillows for both girls, though Kurt has thoughtfully added a boob and some perfume to Santana’s and given it a sex change. She’s delighted, but Rachel is still creeped out, and also denies that she needs comforting – she’s not lonely, and she says that even though Brody moved out, they might get back together. Santana, stunned, quite gently tells Rachel that it is over, and that though she had been wrong about the drug-dealing, it’d just been a matter of what he was selling. She tells Rachel that Brody was a gigolo, and Rachel appeals to Kurt, asking if it’s true, and if he knew. She knows him well enough to interpret his silence, and horrified, she runs off to her bedroom.

Back at McKinley, Blaine has worked up the courage to do his own guilty pleasure performance in front of the glee club – he plays piano on the auditorium stage and performs “Against All Odds” by Phil Collins. It’s a live audio take, like “The Break Up’s” “Teenage Dream” – they stuck the cameras on Darren and let him sing and play the number live, so the performance is poignant and unpolished, with the kind of breathing and emotion that’s realistic to the scene. It makes the moment much more emotional than most Glee performances and it begs the question why on earth Glee doesn’t do more live performances. Even if they release a studio version of the song for sale, they should record live takes while filming and include those in the episodes, as it is much more in the moment, and makes the song feel more part of the story. Big group numbers, or stuff with heavy choreography, maybe not, but all the solos should be live like this.

Blaine looks out at the audience periodically while singing, and Sam stares straight back at him, looking sorrowful. Blaine finishes, nodding gracefully when they applaud, and Tina, because she’s a bitch, asks knowingly who the song was about. Kitty hits her and tells her to shut it, ergo, Kitty is my new baby angel. Blaine claims that he sung it about Kurt, that the break-up was still an open wound, but it’s a lie. The fact that he can lie about that makes me really hope that he’s over the break-up and over Kurt in general, and that we never see them as a couple ever again, because this feels like growth. But Blaine claims that the important part of the performance was recognising the genius of Phil Collins. He goes on a slightly over-dramatic rant about dedicating his life to Phil Collins, and Sam continues to look at him sadly. Blaine looks sadly right back. It’s sad. They’re sad. They both know what’s going on. Wahhh.

They then whack in two musical numbers back-to-back in the choir room – the Spice Girls do “Wannabe,” with Kitty as Geri, Unique as Emma, Brittany as Mel C, Tina as Mel B, and Marley as Victoria. Kitty looks so awesome in the classic Union Jack dress, but there is this weird moment between her and Artie that I’m not into – I need them to not be a thing. It’s a pretty cool performance, except for the strange fake-British enunciation on “slam your body down and wind it all around” – maybe it sounded worse in American, but whatever they were trying for, they failed. The boys thoroughly approve, with Artie shrieking “BEST THING EVER” which I would bet money was a Kevin McHale ad-lib, and Blaine teacherly thanks the girls and introduces the next performer, Jake.

He’s booed and heckled by the club, and he throws out his arms, imploring them to stop, and announces that he’s chosen another “Brown” song – not Chris Brown, but Bobby Brown. He begins to perform “My Prerogative,” which younger viewers may know better from Britney Spears’ cover of the song, and busts out some sweet moves, gliding all around the choir room. Opinions in the audience are mixed, but Jake’s one true love Ryder leaps to his feet in support, and by the end most of the club, except for Marley, is bopping along. Jacob Artist sure shows off his dance moves, but the lyrics of the song seem almost like a symbolic defence, either of Jake’s desire to sing Chris Brown, or of Chris Brown himself, and it actually makes me kind of uncomfortable, like Glee’s letting Jake get away with the last word.

Later, we see the aftermath. Tina’s cosplaying Vicki, the robot girl from Small Wonder – “that’s it, I’ve reached my guilty-pleasures-that-nobody-cares-about limit,” Kitty declares – when Jake approaches Marley, Tina and Kitty in the hallway. He says that he needs to apologise, and that he “didn’t know about the Bobby Brown thing” – the thing, we flash back to see Artie scathingly telling Jake, being that Bobby Brown got Whitney Houston addicted to crack, and ruined her life.

This fact apparently didn’t deter Artie from grooving along like his life depended on it, and I’m a bit like – really? Really? Are we now going to force people to apologise for every artist’s personal failings? Because this show has done The Beatles, and John Lennon beat his wife. This show has done a number by Hole, for God’s sake, and Courtney Love is the craziest human being currently alive on this planet, and has caused a metric ton of damage to many people’s lives.

I completely agree with the earlier point that, in the current climate, if the glee club – and Glee in general – were to have a list of people who they categorically do not support in any way, Chris Brown should be Public Enemy Number 1. But if they’re going to start casting judgement and making people feel guilty about the personal background of artists, they’ve got a long back-list of apologies that they need to start making.

Anyway, Marley and Jake once again sort out their difference with a mature conversation, making sure to touch on The Moral Of The Story – “can a few high school kids boycotting Chris Brown make a difference?” “Well, every little bit helps” – and sickeningly, Marley calls Jake her own guilty pleasure.

The episode takes a turn for the even-more-morally-questionable when Rachel finds Brody at NYADA and decides to confront the situation by sarcastically slipping him some money to pay for his services. This approach sends the issue from what it should be, “it’s terrible that he lied to Rachel,” to slut-shaming pretty fast, so I kind of tune out, but I’m pretty sure that Brody says “don’t cast judgement” and tells her that Finn was the one who came and broke his face. He apologises for the lying, but tells her that how he felt was real, and that she hadn’t been honest about her feelings for him and for Finn. Rachel admits that this may be true.

They both say the relationship is over, and when Brody, a bit broken, tells Rachel, “Seeing you around is really gonna suck,” they begin to sing Radiohead’s “Creep” as they walk away from each other in slow motion. It’s a really weird performance and the main thing that I take from it is that Rachel is finally wearing some college-appropriate clothes, jeans and a blue-and-black t-shirt, as opposed to all those insanely tiny skirts. 

The pair drift through their day, singing the song in grief, but as an actual Radiohead fan I just can no longer take it when they get to “running out the door” and they are actually. Running. Out. Doors. The performance ends in a fantasy on-stage moment with Rachel and Brody in dramatic, funeral clothing – a suit, a long black sleeved dress – and I just don’t know why they chose this song. Like… this song is… not what this situation is about.

Right, back to something that makes sense, and is well-handled – Sam finds Blaine alone in the auditorium, still messing around on the piano. Blaine’s experimenting with another Phil Collins song to finish up with before, to quote, “they make us put our guilty pleasures back in the closet.” Sam tells him that maybe they don’t have to – that everyone feels better with it out on the table, that life is better that way. Blaine denies this, saying that if they always indulge themselves in that kind of thing, they would make people uncomfortable. He’s not talking about Phil Collins, but that’s okay. Neither is Sam. Sam looks straight at Blaine and tells him that he doesn’t have to be uncomfortable – that he knows Blaine’s shameful secret is that he is attracted to Sam. Blaine shakes his head, but stares at Sam when Sam says he’s known all year and doesn’t care – in fact, because Sam knows he’s hot, he would have been offended if Blaine wasn’t into him.

Poor Blaine doesn’t quite know how to process this, and asks Sam in disbelief if he’s not freaked out. He begins to explain in earnest that he doesn’t want to jeopardise their friendship and how they’ve been there for each other but Sam shushes him, cutting him off and telling him that nothing is going to change – that they’re like brothers (well, no, Sam), that he trusts Blaine, and that the attention is kind of flattering. I cannot fathom how much this – especially the statement about trust – must mean to Blaine, a character who spends so much time being polite and repressed for the sake of other people’s feelings, creating a ‘safe’ and de-sexualised image of himself in order to come across well.

Sam demands that they hug it out, and Blaine is taken aback by the force Sam holds him with, then leans into it, enjoying it. Of course, this is Glee, so the moment is ruined by a typical “is that a box of breath mints in your pocket or are you just happy to see me” gag, though they do slightly subvert it by actually making it an innocent situation where Blaine is like “oh, yeah, here, you want one?” The pair go off together to teach their final class – Sam has an idea for a song that everyone will love.

In New York, Kurt and Santana are cuddling their pillow-partners and planning a Facts of Life musical. Rachel comes home and tentatively asks to be included – “That depends on what happened with you and the American Pyscho,” Santana asks curiously, and, okay, I get it, Brody lied. He lied about a having a job that’s very taboo and quite shady. I don’t adore him, but I’m kind of starting to feel sorry for him and the vitriol getting slung at his character for this situation – he’s not creepy or psycho or a “weirdo manwhore” or anything like that. He’s a guy who has sex for money, and he hid it because he was ashamed of it, and in my opinion that’s a lot less bad than being a drug dealer. But whatever.

Rachel explains that they had a mature conversation ending their relationship, and she thanks Santana for not giving up and trying to look after her. She also thanks Santana for bringing Finn to NYC to “defend her honor,” which, oh my god, Rachel, Brody being a prostitute is so far from being anything to do with your honor that it is almost painful to explain.

Rachel sits down sadly, and Kurt tells her to smile; she’s still got her hot boyfriend pillow, Colin – “I named him Colin after that non-threatening boy in The Secret Garden, because I know you loved it.” Fun fact: Colin Craven, the non-threatening boy in The Secret Garden, was so possessive of his cousin Mary Lennox that he wouldn’t let her talk to any other guys and ended up marrying her. So… that’s cool. Anyway, Rachel says that she’s not sad, that she feels good inside, but that she gets to play the wallowing-in-pity card for one night, and picks out a feel-good guilty pleasure movie – Mamma Mia. She holds up the DVD case, sitting on the back of the couch and starting to sing the title song to her friends, who watch her lovingly. She wanders over to the open space in the apartment and the other two join her on the chorus when the song speeds up.

The song then cuts to McKinley, where New Directions are also performing “Mamma Mia” for their final guilty pleasure number, lead by Marley, Unique and Kitty, on a completely white set with costumes and choreography that are an homage to the original ABBA music video, as opposed to Rachel, Santana and Kurt’s re-enactment of the musical. Both versions are good, though I probably would have preferred a full version of one location or the other, just for consistency on the vocals, but I especially like Rachel and Unique – and I will admit that this number is the first time in season 4 that I have full-on sung along, at full volume, with an episode of Glee while it aired. But there’s this weird Klaine moment where both parties are using hula hoops as props and Kurt tosses one and Blaine catches it, which I’m sure is meant to be some sort of symbolism, and also, don’t think I missed that moment of Kitty pulling Artie’s shell-shocked face into her breasts, Glee. Don’t you dare try to make this a thing.