The best TV quotes of the week are highlighted every Saturday on Hypable. If you want to know what was funny, sad, or snarky on TV this week, look no further.
Did your favorite show bring on the funny, the memorable, or the meta this week with quotable TV quotes? Did you laugh out loud from the words of the resident “joke machine”? Will you be making a meme from what your favorite characters said? Are their words destined to end up on a t-shirt or coffee mug?
So, check it out, and see if our picks for favorite TV quotes of the week match your favorite TV quotes of the week. We want to include your fandom. If we missed something, you can make sure your favorite TV quotes of the week are featured next week by giving a suggestion to the writer who usually covers your fandom in the recap discussion of the latest episode.
‘Glee’
Coach Beiste: “You take Fred Flintstone off his brontasaurus, all he is is Wilma with a set of man plumbs. Conversation over.”
In an episode about love and identity, Coach Beiste makes a fitting analogy about gender stereotypes.
‘Agent Carter’
Agent Thompson: “A lot of stuff gets stolen from Howard Stark: cars bombs, death rays.”
Jarvis: “Actually, the death ray is accounted for. It’s in Nevada, I believe.”
Jarvis is always the consummate butler and right hand man. He has all the facts at hand, and is relatively unruffled under interrogation.
‘American Horror Story’
Paul: “What do we do now?”
Desiree: “Steal her jewelry. And bury the bitch.”
Just another day on the grounds for the Freaks of Elsa Mars’ Cabinet of Curiosities. When Maggie gets sawn in half as a result of Chester’s brush with insanity, Desiree and the others waste no time mourning her loss. After all, Maggie was initially there to kill and sell off everyone. You could say she had it coming.
On page 2: ‘Elementary,’ ‘Galavant,’ and ‘Looking’
‘Elementary’
Sherlock: “I was waiting for Watson. As you know, nothing helps clear up a case as stating it to another person.”
Detective Bell: “What am I?”
Although this exchange fell on deaf ears, Bell does have a point. Sherlock has certainly made allowances for Bell in his life and respects the man as a detective and friend, but isn’t it time he gave the guy a little more credit? After all, Bell has been around the block a few times, once or twice providing Sherlock with valuable information. At least let him mirror back your observations now and again!
‘Looking’
Patrick: “Can we just all watch the sunrise and pretend everything is going to turn out fine?”
The opening episode of Looking season 2 ends with the realization that while they may have escaped their problems for a weekend, the sun is rising, and with that comes the return to reality. Patrick discloses his secret relationship with his boss Kevin to his friends, and takes their opinions on the matter in stride. Agustîn’s new friend, Eddie, sheds some light on possibility of moving on from Frankie. Dom has a few loose ends to tie up in his life if he wants to make something of his relationship with Lynn. The sun is coming up and the boys have some choices to make.
‘Girls’
Shoshanna: “Both of my parents are named Mel. It’s the worst thing that ever happened to me, and it was, like, the first thing that ever happened to me.”
Girls season 4 may finally bring out the Shoshanna we all deserve. Without NYU as her safety net, Shoshanna is finally entering the same pool of uncertainty as Hannah, Marnie, and Jessa. We meet her parents briefly in this week’s premiere and get a glimpse at who produced the anxious little ball that is Shoshanna. Hopefully, Shoshanna gets a bit more of the spotlight in season 4 as she goes off into the world, dog barrettes and all.
On page 3: ‘Constantine,’ and ‘Galavant’
‘Constantine’
John: “I’m John Constantine. I do stupid in spades.”
Give the Devil his due: not everything goes right for John Constantine.
‘Galavant’
Galavant: “Oh for the love of God, in your purse? That’s where you thought no one would look?”
Isabella: “I put it with my girl supplies. Guys never look there. They must have sisters.”
Apparently the supposed, dreaded fear of the feminine hygiene products isn’t any more true in the Middle Ages than it is today.