Labor Day weekend is usually a slow time at the movies. The summer months have released their final blockbuster and the transition into more adult fare for Oscar season starts around mid-September.

So what better time for studios to dump their unwanted movies than this one, right? It brings me no joy in declaring that the new film Getaway opens today and follows in the tradition of terrible movies to open on this notorious movie holiday.

This particular Getaway bears no resemblance to the original 1958 Jim Thompson crime novel or the two films spawned from it. It only borrows the title and creates its own brand of awful.

Ethan Hawke built up so much goodwill with his turn in Before Midnight at the start of the summer only to follow that up with two of the worst films of the year (this one and the home invasion thriller The Purge).

Here he plays Brent Magna, an ex-race car driver and the only character in this movie to have a name (everyone else has nondescript titles like “The Kid” or “The Voice”). This is meant to be clever but like most things in Getaway, is insanely misguided.

Trouble finds Magna within the first minute of the movie as he comes home to a ransacked place and finds his wife kidnapped by “The Voice.” His vocal skills are performed by Jon Voight and we only see his lips for most of the movie, but his evil plan involves putting Magna through as many dumb situations as possible to save his loved one.

These unbelievable tasks include racing a customized sports car fully equipped with audio and video surveillance provided by our villain through the streets of Bulgaria (where this movie takes place and was also presumably filmed). This special vehicle will allow our antagonist to always be spying on Magna and make sure he doesn’t deviate from his plan as he causes maximum chaos throughout the city. Both men know the car is loaded with these microphones but for some reason Magna decides to verbalize his escape plan while driving this wired car.

STUPID!

What’s worse, our villain on the other end of the mic who claims to be always watching and listening to Magna so he doesn’t veer off course never catches this huge uprising as it’s happening in real time.

INCREDIBLY STUPID!

I can forgive silly plot holes in movies if there’s something else of substance to hold on to, but everyone involved with Getaway seems determined to make the worst movie possible. The film looks incredibly rushed and cheap, camera work constantly switches to grainy video footage for no apparent reason, and the actors can barely keep a straight face as they collect their paycheck.

Selena Gomez is also in Getaway and she plays “The Kid,” a character with no energy and depth whatsoever. She is another pawn in “The Voice’s” evil plan, but it doesn’t matter. The stakes in this movie are so low, and the people behind it are barely trying, that we as an audience can never connect on any level.

The curse of bad Labor Day weekend movies strikes again!

Grade: D

Rated: PG-13 (for intense action, violence and mayhem throughout, some rude gestures, and language)

Getaway opens in theaters on August 30, 2013.