In a move not unlike Stephenie Meyer’s refusal to finish Midnight Sun, George R.R. Martin has shelved the rest of the A Song of Ice and Fire series to allow for more creative adventures.

Martin announced today, April 1, that he has finally given up trying to finish his beloved series which HBO’s Game of Thrones is based on. After being asked for the 5,617th time when the latest installment would be finished, Martin responded by pulling what he has completed of the sixth novel out from under his suspenders and burning the manuscript right in front of an interviewer on Tuesday morning.

Since the popularity of Game of Thrones has reached a fever pitch, fans have been clamoring for the next novel. In 2012 the author said that he was only a fraction of the way through its completion, and his U.K. publisher once said that the book may not be ready until 2015. In other words, everyone should have stopped asking him about it so we didn’t risk him having a breakdown like the one today.

Samples of The Winds of Winter have been released online over the past few weeks, but now it looks like that will be the only portion of the book fans will be able to read – ever.

What will he do now without A Song of Ice and Fire? Martin’s new adventures are rumored to include writing Twilight fan-fic which still seems to be all the rage in the publishing world.

As for the fate of Game of Thrones, HBO released the following statement:

“We respect George’s decision and will continue production through A Dance with Dragons. In regards to his new project, werewolves and direwolves are kind of the same, right?”

A statement from Martin’s rep clarified his new Fifty Shades project. “Can you imagine Christian Grey in Westeros? Yeah neither can we, so George is working on something with all the sex that is expected in a Twilight fan-fic with the added bonus of his great ability to kill off everyone’s favorite characters. Perhaps after a bad performance in the bedroom… Well, it’s still a work in progress.”

When last spotted, Martin was heading to Phoenix where he was reportedly consulting with Meyers on spicing up Twilight. When pressed for a comment at the airport, Martin smiled and said, “We are starting with more boobies. The 13-year-old in me always starts there.”

It seems as if the iron throne has been turned to rust.

As for which characters Martin might choose from the Twilight world, it seems rather obvious: The wolves.

Fans may remember that Martin did once write a vampire novel called Fevre Dream, so it is possible he could revisit the creatures of the night that sparkle in the day. As for whether or not this new adventure will take the erotic route, that is still unclear.

Which characters would you like to see George R.R. Martin take on from ‘Twilight’?