Jon came face-to-face with the world’s greatest threat, and everyone else made smaller plans on Game of Thrones season 5, episode 8.

What we want

In Meereen, Tyrion tries to make a case for himself and Jorah, and offers to advise Dany; she challenges him to advise her on what to do with the knight. Tyrion reluctantly agrees that Jorah should be removed from Meereen, but he proves harder to shake off than greyscale.

Jorah goes straight to the slave master Yezzan and demands to fight before Dany in Daznak’s pit.

“Let me fight for her,” he offers, “And I belong to you.”

Right up until you crust up and die from greyscale.

Meanwhile, Dany meets with Tyrion privately. He tells her more about why he sought her out, and defends Varys. Dany decides that she is not going to kill Tyrion, who is rather dumbfounded at having actually gotten his way.

She wants him to advise her on how to “get what she wants” — aka, Westeros — and Tyrion rather admirably her tells that, straight-up, her prospects are terrible. But Dany is determined. The wheel of Westeros’s Great Houses has spun long enough, and she is hell-bent on breaking it.

Dany’s intentions are admirable, of course, but we can’t help but wonder how long it will take someone to realize that without all those Great Houses, nothing stands in the way of House Targaryen crushing the smallfolk all by its grand and terrible self.

Sinners

Speaking of smallfolk, Cersei is getting a healthy dose of powerlessness at the hands of the Faith. Dressed in dirty robes, her hair askew, Cersei continues to refuse Septa Unella’s demands that she confess her sins.

Qyburn, possibly her very last friend, arrives to update Cersei on the world beyond. She has been charged with “fornication, treason, incest, and the murder of King Robert.” “All lies,” Cersei proclaims.

Kevan Lannister has returned to act as Hand of the King, and Tommen is not doing well. Cersei is desperate to gain her freedom, but refuses to confess. After Qyburn leaves, Cersei’s thirst forces her to lick spilled water from the filthy floor.

How the haughty have fallen.

A new perspective

In Braavos, Jaqen gives Arya her first new identity — Lanna, an orphaned oyster seller. He sends her to the docks, though he doesn’t tell her what to look for. Arya sells oysters to a gambler, who refuses to take the money of a needy man.

Back at the House of Black and White, Jaqen sends her back again with a thin vial — “A gift for the thin man,” he says.

Arya has been assigned her first kill, and walks away with a smile.

Still, the Waif insists that Arya is not ready. Jaqen tells her that basically, it’s all the same to the Many-Faced God.

Meanwhile, Sansa continues to suffer in Winterfell, and takes out her rage on Theon Reek. Reek insists that he was helping her to dissuade her from escape; there is no escape from Ramsay Bolton.

Sansa is enraged, and rails at Theon Reek for his crimes against her family. But in her fury, she forces him to confess that he murdered the farm boys — not Bran and Rickon. He refuses to tell her anything more.

At the same time, the Boltons make their plans for Stannis. Roose is actually smart and wants to wait in Winterfell and let the snow take care of the wannabe king. Ramsay is more ambitious, and says he can take him out with only 20 men.

Yeah, we’ll see.

Fools together

Up at the Wall, Olly basically asks Sam, “So legit, WTF is Jon doing with the wildlings?” Sam is like, “Massive armies of the dead, bro.”

No, but he really says, “Sometimes a man has to make hard choices. Choices that look wrong, but that you know are right in the end.” And Olly, presumably, gets the message… though maybe not the one Sam intended.

Jon, Tormund, and their motley mix of Black Brothers and wildlings arrive at Hardhome. Tormund promptly kills the Lord of Bones when he refuses to listen to reason, and brings Jon to talk to the other wildlings.

The negotiations turn out to be a mixed bag.

“This isn’t about friendship,” Jon tells the wildlings. “This is about survival.”

He earns points by reminding them of the threat of the White Walkers, but loses them by being a complete idiot and totally omitting the context in which he killed Mance Rayder.

Still, with Tormund’s help and the offer of dragonglass, Jon manages to get his message across: The Long Night is coming, and no one group of men — beyond the Wall or below it — will be able to stop the White Walkers.

The tales of dead men

A female wildling, Karsi, agrees to join Jon; one of the Thenns insists that it is a trap. The Night’s Watch loads wildlings — including Karsi’s children — onto their ships… but sure enough, the rescue mission is interrupted by a massive attack of zombie-wights.

No, don’t change the channel. It’s not The Walking Dead.

The fight is long, strange, and vicious; as the wights begin to break through the settlement gate, even the giant gets involved. White Walkers on horseback are visible from a high peak, an ominous promise of what is to come.

Jon scrambles for the dragonglass inside the burning hut, and finds himself crossing swords with a calm and terrible White Walker. Ordinary swords shatter beneath the Walker’s blade, but Longclaw — forged of Valyrian Steel — not only holds up, but allows Jon to slay the White Walker.

The Night’s King watches grimly.

Still, the assault of wights is relentless. Karsi is killed by baby wights; Jon, Tormund, and a few others manage to escape to the boats, leaving many wildlings behind to die.

The wights pour down to the edge of the water, where the Night’s King raises his arms and reanimates the newly-slaughtered. Jon and the others can only watch in horror as the madness, and their hopes of safety, recede behind them.

How do you feel about the epic events of ‘Game of Thrones’ season 5, episode 8?