Zealots left blood in their wake from Kings Landing to Meereen (and promised more to come) on Game of Thrones season 5, episode 4.
Out of the box
Stuck on a boat, Tyrion manages to figure out both Jorah Mormont’s identity and his goal. Though Tyrion is actually amused by the fact that he is still headed for Daenerys Targaryen, Jorah’s already watery sense of humor appears to have evaporated completely, and he beats Tyrion into silence.
We suspect that Tyrion might be missing Varys’ comfortable box right about now.
Salt, sand, and stone
Jaime and Bronn catch a merchant ship to Dorne. Bronn is frustrated with Jaime’s rather poor planning for this mission – including the one-handed man’s decision to come along on the rescue mission.
“It has to be me,” Jaime insists. You know, to rescue his “niece.” Jaime also mentions that he will kill Tyrion for murdering Tywin if he sees him again.
Harsh.
Jaime and Bronn make landfall in Dorne (no thanks to Jaime) and Bronn points out another one of Jaime’s rapidly growing list of mistakes. In this case, he allowed the ship’s captain to sail away with the very profitable information of their whereabouts.
Jaime is like, “Nah, it’s cool, I asked him really nicely not to say anything.” Bronn is like, “FML.”
The FML factor increases when the Dashing Duo run into and have to kill a group of Dornishmen. Still, Bronn saves Jaime’s life from a snake, and the two men discuss the way they would like to die.
No foreshadowing here, folks.
Rage
Elsewhere in Dorne, Ellaria meets up with three of the Sand Snakes – Oberyn’s daughters Obara, Tyene, and Nymeria. The three women have captured the captain of Jaime’s ship, and know that the Kingslayer is in Dorne – likely for Myrcella.
They pledge their loyalty to Ellaria, and her chosen course of war.
The seventh Hell
In Kings Landing, Cersei makes two calculated moves. She sends Mace Tyrell to parlay with the Iron Bank of Braavos, and offers the High Sparrow permission to re-arm the Faith – pointing him in the direction of one very specific sinner.
Immediately, chaos breaks out across the city. Bearing the Seven-Pointed Star carved into their foreheads, the Faith Militant attack evil-doers across Kings Landing. Gay men are a specific target of their violence, and Loras Tyrell is arrested for his “crimes.”
Margaery demands that Tommen free her brother from Cersei. Poor Tommen is about seven mental steps behind everything she says, but gathers his wits enough to tell Cersei to free Loras. Cersei feigns innocence – she claims that the arrest was all the High Sparrow’s doing, and certainly she has no influence over the actions of the Faith.
Tommen’s visit to the High Sparrow is a failure; he has neither the respect of the Sparrows nor the love of the people, who call him an “abomination” and a bastard. The young king reports his failure to Margaery, who completely freezes him out.
Marriage is complicated, kiddo.
The ones who need love
Up at the Wall, Stannis observes the Night’s Watch. Queen Selyse nicknames her daughter “Weakness,” but Melisandre assures the royal couple that Shireen has her father’s royal strength in her veins. She also makes sure that Stannis agrees to bring her to the coming battle at Winterfell, and tells him that her only desire is to serve her Lord.
To that end, we guess, Melisandre then pays a booty call to Jon Snow. Not having bothered with underwear, Mel gives Jon a behind-the-scenes tour of her body and tells him that there is power and life to be had in their joining.
Glurgh.
Jon is bamboozled by the opportunity to touch boobs again, but ultimately rejects Melisandre’s advances due to his vows and his continuing love for another. Annoyed, Melisandre storms out of Jon’s chambers
“You know nothing, Jon Snow,” she says. Jon thinks, “That’s spooky,” and we’re like, “We agree.”
At the same time, Shireen visits her father and asks if he is ashamed of her. He tells her the story of how she contracted greyscale as an infant, and how he refused to consign her to the Stone Men, or resign himself to her death.
Shireen hugs her father; stiffly, Stannis hugs her back.
(For those keeping score at home, this is the third extended reference to greyscale in four episodes. So keep an eye on that.)
Prologue
Sansa visits her aunt Lyanna’s statue in the crypts below Winterfell. Littlefinger creeps up and tells her the story of the Tournament at Harrenhal – an event in which Lyanna Stark played a crucial role.
Lords and ladies from across the realm gathered for the tournament. Prince Rhaegar Targaryen won the final joust against Barristan Selmy, leaving the men cheering and the ladies laughing at his gallantry.
But then, says Littlefinger, “All the smiles died.” Rhaegar did not give the winner’s crown to his wife, Princess Elia. He rode past her, and laid the crown of blue winter roses in Lyanna’s lap instead.
“Yes, he chose her. And then he kidnapped her, and raped her,” Sansa says, putting an end to the story. Littlefinger gives her a look of “I know something you don’t know,” but he does not pursue the matter further.
Instead, he tells Sansa that he is leaving for Kings Landing. Sansa is understandably upset at being hauled to Winterfell and then abandoned, but Littlefinger assures Sansa that she can handle whatever comes. Either Stannis will attack the castle and win, ending her betrothal to Ramsay, and Sansa will be named “Wardeness of the North,” which is not a thing, but fine.
Or Sansa will have to go through with the marriage and bring the Boltons to heel on her own. “The North will be yours,” Littlefinger promises, and kisses her on the lips.
And that’s our cue to shower.
Epilogue
In Meereen, Barristan Selmy tells Daenerys about her brother Rhaegar. Far from loving to fight, the Prince loved to sing, and would often perform in the streets of Kings Landing. Clearly, there was a strong bond between the Kingsguard knight and the silver prince. It is not clear that Rhaegar Targaryen was the sort to kidnap, rape, and murder Lyanna Stark.
But that’s a story for another time.
For now, Dany gives Barristan his leave. She listens, unimpressed, to Hizdahr zo Loraq’s new petition to re-open the fighting pits. But Hizdahr urges her that without the bond of watching people fight to the death, there will be no common ground between the freed slaves and former Masters.
As he makes his case, a troop of Unsullied is ambushed by a mob of Sons of the Harpy. Grey Worm is one of the last Unsullied fighting, and he is almost rescued by Ser Barristan – but the old knight is cut down too.
In the end, the streets of Meereen flow with still more blood, and Dany has lost at least one – if not two – of her most valuable councilors.