What were the ten best moments of Game of Thrones royal wedding episode “The Lion and the Rose”?
After last week’s cinematic season premiere, we were wondering how the writers would try and top it this week. With novel writer George R. R. Martin penning this season’s sophomore effort, we should have known there were shocks coming. And boy were there! It’s hard to whittle down all of those great moments to a list of our ten favorites. So, Hypable writers Harri Sargeant and Laura Byrne-Cristiano have teamed up to try and narrow down the entries. Then, Tariq Kyle worked some gif magic so you can re-live this week’s best laughs, shocks and one-liners again and again.
Check out our favorites below, and don’t forget to share your picks in the comments! This article contains strong language.
Every wedding has its questionable moments whether it’s the wannbe, pop-star wedding singer, or the drunken uncle whose antics are funny only to himself. Westeros’s weddings are no exception. It’s a wonder anyone gets married here because the floor shows keep upstaging the “happy couples.” Citizens of Westeros take note: as soon as they play The Rains of Castamere, run; it’s a harbinger of doom.
“There is too much amusement here today…time has come for all of us to contemplate our history.”
The best part of the dwarf show was the reaction of the guests to it when they thought no one saw their faces. Predictably, Joffrey and Cersei were oblivious to its content affecting the guests. Tommen, the future king, went from enjoying to then realizing, “Oh, perhaps this isn’t funny after all”. Margaery simply couldn’t keep up the pretense any longer after the jibes at Renly and by extension Lloras. She looked like she’d just downed a bite of Lamprey Pie gone bad. Saddest of all was Sansa, who in trance-like desolation, was utterly alone reliving the deaths of most of her family. – Laura Byrne-Cristiano
The Lannisters have ruled the seven kingdoms for over two seasons now, and have done so with very few challenges. Especially after the Red Wedding, it was beginning to seem as if they were invincible. So, we were genuinely thrilled when Oberyn Martell swanned into the capital last week – and this week we got to see the Red Viper’s bite.
“In other places, the rape and murder of women and children is considered… distasteful.”
When Cersei tried to mock his paramour Elia Sand, Oberyn retorted with a scathing and thinly veiled attack on the Lannister’s entire approach to politics. Those two season’s of blonde dominance were all worth it for those few seconds of stunned silence from the “former” Queen Regent. We’re sure this won’t be the last time we hear from Oberyn’s sharp tongue – and we can’t wait. – Harri Sargeant
Meanwhile, back at the ranch,…er…that cold, cold road North, we have Bran, the Reeds, and Hodor. Just when book fans thought visions were never going to play a big role this series, finally, a vision pops up. Alas, both the vision, and the follow-up discussion were way too short.
“Look for me. Beneath the tree. North!”
As Bran touches the godswood tree, images flood his mind: the three-eyed crow, the crypt at Winterfell, Ned Stark’s sword, Ned himself, Bran falling from the tower, an empty throne, and a dragon shadow flying above King’s Landing. Why was there no vision of Lyanna’s statue in the crypt? What does it all mean? Who knows, other than Bran feels strongly that he has to obey the voice commanding him to the North, which may not be the greatest idea now that Theon has spilled the beans to the Boltons. – Laura Byrne-Cristiano
Poor Theon Greyjoy went through hell last season, as he was flayed, tortured, and broken down by the psychotic Ramsay Snow. Though we saw him taking on the name ‘Reek’ at the end of last season, we saw an entirely reborn character in the opening scene of this week’s episode. No longer requiring shackles, he obediently follows his new master as they chase a girl through the woods.
“Peeled a few bits, removed a few others.”
He’s a broken man, passing up the opportunity to slit his captor’s throat – instead just shaving him and giving up valuable information about Bran and Rickon’s whereabouts. We can’t even be angry at him, because he’s clearly been driven mad in his misery. But Reek is possibly doing more damage to the Stark family than Theon Greyjoy ever did. – Harri Sargeant
Jamie finally admits to Tyrion that he’s been putting on a brave face, a bold arrogance in public to keep his detractors at bay. He truly believes what both Tywin and Cersei all but said last week: Jamie is worthless as a knight. The brothers are usually, totally honest with only each other.
“A toast to the proud Lannister children: The dwarf, the cripple and the mother of madness.”
Tyrion tries to help Jamie. First he tries witty remarks about the food. Next he lets him know that all the Lannister children are failures in Tywin’s eyes. Finally, he spills wine himself to demonstrate Jamie’s concerns are not that grand. In the end, Tyrion gives the most practical help of all, a swordsman to train Jamie who has been paid to keep his mouth shut about Jamie’s diminished skill set. – Laura Byrne-Cristiano
On page 2:
Shae’s sadness, unrequited love, and pigeon pie…
Page 2: Our 10 favorite moments from “The Lion and the Rose”
Stannis and the gang were back this week, which means we saw more from the creepy Red Woman. After burning three of her King’s most powerful and loyal bannerman, Melisandre went up to comfort Shireen. It led to one of the quieter, but nonetheless affecting moments of the episode.
“There is only one hell – the one we live in now.”
After a strange sequence in which the Red Woman tried to compare burning people alive to giving birth, she gave a surprisingly apt summary of Westeros. After telling Stannis’s little princess that the seven gods were just myths, she declares that there is only one hell: the one they live in now. In a world where weddings become massacres and the writer’s are always happy to kill their darlings, it’s hard to imagine a realm that could be worse for Game of Throes‘s characters. – Harri Sargeant
Tyrion got his first reality check of the evening when Varys warned him that both Tywin and Cersei knew about Shae, and that Varys would not lie to cover it up. His only assistance was in the warning itself. Tyrion’s played a dangerous game talking freely, making enemies, and now they will make him pay for being too smart, and putting the realm before family.
“I have enjoyed my time with them, and I have enjoyed my time with you most of all, but now that time is over.”
As bright as she is, and with considerable exposure to life in Kings Landing, Shae couldn’t seem to grasp the level of danger. Tyrion used his best weapon against her: his own words. In the end, the most severely wounded person was Tyrion himself. He is left having to live with the cutting lies, half-truths, and even total-truths he spoke to force Shae to go. – Laura Byrne-Cristiano
With apologies to Lady Gaga, Brienne ain’t got no poker face. Cersei reads her in five minutes flat, and gains additional information to make Brienne’s life hell should ever she choose.
“In truth he rescued me your grace.”
On a certain level, the viewers feel sorry for Brienne. Cersei voices out loud a truth, that up until now, Brienne has likely not even wanted to admit to herself. All things considered, perhaps did a more dangerous question remained unasked: does Jamie return the feeling?- Laura Byrne-Cristiano
Poor old Loras Tyrell had a rough time this episode, not only was he ridiculed in front of his family and the collected dignitaries of the country during Joffrey’s offensive dwarf display, but he was also mocked and warned by the one-armed Kingslayer himself Jamie Lannister.
“Neither will you.”
After making the eyes at Oberyn, Loras bumps into his fellow knight. Jamie seemed to go through something of a transformation last season, but it seems he still has a little venom in his heart. When he tells the young Tyrell that he’ll never have children or marry Cersei, Loras is quick on the come back: “Neither will you.” Own of the season so far? – Harri Sargeant
Non-book readers were left shocked and ecstatic by the sudden death of Joffrey Baratheon at his own wedding. Remedying the tragedy of the Red Wedding, the so-called Purple Wedding is a serious contender for not just the best moment of the episode, but best moment of the series. After the reception reminded us of the many reasons we hate him, Joffrey finally met his maker as he choked on a rather dry piece of pigeon pie.
“He poisoned my son, your king. Take him!”
Unfortunately, Tyrion was instantly accused of his murder, meaning that the country’s jubilation led to arrest for the Master of Coin. Still, there’s much to celebrate! After three and a bit seasons of his tyrannical reign, the Lannister love child finally got his come-uppance. The King is dead! F**k the king! – Harri Sargeant
