Game of Thrones said goodbye to a fan favorite character in “The Door,” and the actor feels just as sad about it as you do.

If any character on the notoriously bloody Game of Thrones seemed safe from the reaper, it was probably Hodor. Big, strong, and almost wordless, it seemed like even George R.R. Martin and the series showrunners wouldn’t be so cruel as to kill off the sweet, simple, giant.

Alas to those naive hours. Hodor, played with incredible warmth and nuance by actor Kristian Nairn, turned out to be the Dobby of the series in Game of Thrones 6×05. But it wasn’t enough for Hodor to lose his life; no, we also had to learn his heartbreaking (and appallingly well-connected) backstory to boot.

“I had tears in my eyes,” Nairn told Entertainment Weekly on the tragic development. “I don’t see myself on screen, I see Hodor. I always talk about him in the third person. I just saw the character die and it was very sad.”

But in spite of the irony and horror of Hodor’s death, Nairn finds a genuine solace in the way his gentle giant joined the ranks of Game of Thrones dead.

“I love it,” he admits. “I couldn’t be happier how he has gone out… it’s a really good way to do it. I couldn’t have asked for a better goodbye to a character I love.”

“My favorite part is it ties up the question of why is Hodor ‘Hodor,'” Nairn says. “Why does he say the word ‘Hodor’? Only George R.R. Martin or David and Dan could have come up with this. It’s incredibly sad. The minute you finally learn something about Hodor, they kill him!”

Kristain Nairn has become a fan-favorite among Game of Thrones lovers for his talent at investing his only line, ‘Hodor, with wonderful variety and nuance. Nairn has repeated the word thousands of times over the course of his six seasons on the series, and proudly professes his fondness for his singular responsibility.

“Each ‘Hodor is like one of my children,” he says. “I love them all.”