Who would’ve thought we’d be kicking off 2016 by reviewing the first two episodes of Galavant’s second season? But boy, are we glad we that we are!
The season 2 premiere, “A New Season… AKA Suck It Cancellation Bear,” picks up a few weeks after we last left our heroes, aboard Lord Grantham Peter the Pillager’s pirate ship. Galavant, at the behest of King Richard, is about to treat us to a reprise of the show’s incredibly catchy theme, until Peter promises a painful death for the two of them if Galavant continues. We guess the song really can get old, especially when you’re trapped in close quarters for a prolonged amount of time.
No matter. The characters treat us to our first new song of the season, and it sets the tone for the remaining episodes — not least because it lets slip exactly what’s coming for the potentially epic finale. That’s right, amongst all the tongue-in-cheek references to expensive guest stars, and the fact that most people are probably going to DVR the show, is the reveal that there’s going to be a huge battle to crown the one true king (or queen) of all the kingdoms.
Getting to that battle isn’t going to be a breeze for Galavant and Richard, as their ship is wrecked on Richard’s advice as to where to land. Not exactly ideal, but it sets up the theme of the episode — Galavant’s exasperation at Richard’s incompetence.
The duo set off for Richard’s castle, only to be waylaid in the forest due to Richard’s terrible sense of direction. Hey, we’ve all been there. Sometimes your GPS just wants you to drive through a lake. No harm, no foul. Galavant and Richard, at least, come across a pub, which has our first “expensive” guest star — Kylie Minogue.
Minogue is the Queen of The Enchanted Forest, a gay bar that Richard’s uncle was lost to when Richard was much younger, though Richard believed it was an actual forest — for which we now bestow on him the title of Cinnamon Roll. Considering the icon Minogue has become for the gay community, it was a hilariously apt role for the pop superstar.
After Galavant is liberated from his shirt (should we be starting a shirtless tally?) during a spellbinding number from Minogue herself, the Queen puts both him and Richard to work at the pub… forever. Or, at least, until Galavant’s abs go squishy. Either way, Galavant and Richard are trapped in The Enchanted Forest, despite a couple of valiant escape attempts on Galavant’s part. It’s ultimately Richard who saves their skins, however, when he stumbles upon his uncle and discovers another door to the outside, via the ladies room — which wraps up that tension between Richard and his new BFF neatly before the end of the episode.
Meanwhile, back in Valencia, Madalena and Gareth, “the guy that was with the queen when she killed the other guy who was kind of the king,” are dealing with mundanities of ruling a Kingdom. Both Sid and Gareth are frustrated with their perceived roles, or lack thereof, and team up together in order to put themselves back in the narrative.
Due to Sid’s unique skill of being able to read a scroll, he secures a prominent position as Gareth’s assistant, and Gareth himself secures the title of king, which is less of a mouthful for everyone when he’s being introduced, so it’s probably for the best, really. And though Madalena and Gareth don’t quite see eye-to-eye, we’re loving their dynamic relationship. Or hateship.
Not to be left out, Isabella and the rest of the gang in Hortentia are settling into their new lives — the Jester especially, who has the easiest gig he’s ever had, entertaining Prince Harry with fart and poop jokes. But, like Isabella, we think there must be something strange in the water because almost everyone seems fine with her marrying her cousin, her parents included — but that’s mostly because her father doesn’t want to foot the entire bill for her potential wedding to Galavant. Financial gain isn’t a good enough reason to imprison your daughter and force her into a marriage with her cousin, FYI, former King of Valencia.
Head to the next page for our review of episode 2, ‘World’s Best Kiss’
The trials and tribulations of long distance relationships are the focus of the second episode, as both Isabella and Galavant recall their one “perfect” kiss together, before they were cruelly torn apart. Or, well, not quite so perfect, once they start really thinking about it. Doubt creeps into the relationship, thanks to their isolation, and the rampant gossip that apparently spread about their awkward first kiss. Not exactly the encouragement either needs when the entire world is hell-bent on keeping them apart.
But it’s no matter, because Isabella don’t need no man, and puts her own escape plan into action, after securing the help of Chef to get her the key to the Barbie Dreamhouse. She intends to sneak out of the palace during the unnecessarily long changing of the guard, and leaves Chef with the pendant of Valencia — which Isabella insists she wears at all times, despite us never seeing her wear it before.
Whilst Isabella is enacting her escape plan, Galavant and Richard make it to a village, where they stop to get Richard’s boots repaired. All that walking has worn his soles down, which is a case against walking if ever we heard one. You have to wonder how the Fellowship managed to escape without any footwear malfunctions. This leaves the twosome with plenty of time to kill, aside from Richard’s brief stop at the petting zoo, where he encounters a friendly unicorn. A fake one, mind you, because Richard maintains that he’s laid with plenty of women…
They visit the local fortune teller, who conveniently has a way to communicate over long distances. Lucky for Galavant that Isabella has one single item she keeps on her at all times — oh, wait. Chef and Gwynne pick up the call, and are tasked with returning the pendant to Isabella, before she escapes the palace.
It couldn’t all be that simple, though. While the glitchy call “reassures” Galavant that everything is fine, and their kiss actually was pretty great — it wasn’t — it doesn’t turn out so well on Isabella’s end. Subjected to what she believes is a barrage of Galavant refuting his love for her, and calling her a brown cow, she’s then resigned to going through with the marriage to Prince Harry. Guess that tight time frame Galavant was on to rescue Isabella just got a whole lot tighter — and he’s none the wiser. Yikes!
Theirs isn’t the only relationship tested, as Richard learns that Gareth has taken over as King at Madalena’s side, the ultimate friendship betrayal. He’s pretty crushed about the whole thing, but it’s okay, because he picks up a new sword that was abandoned in a tree stump. It’s handy for all of those adventures he’s having with Galavant — and it just so happens it’s the sword of the One True King. We can see where this is going.
The duo hit another snag, however, when they arrive at Richard’s castle, only to find it has mysteriously disappeared. Did anyone else get Robin Hood: Men in Tights vibes from that, or was it just us?
Meanwhile, in Valencia, Gareth and Madalena are at odds over the decorations in the castle. Gareth wants to add his own touches to the decor, and Madalena wants to throw it all in the moat. They find it difficult to reach any common ground, and more stuff ends up in the drink than in the castle by the end of their duet (and please, there needs to be 200% more duets between these two, immediately), but they finally settle on something — Sid is incredibly annoying.
We can only hope that’s a fond annoyance, and not the kind which will see Sid marched to the gallows. Or beheaded. Or any other gruesome outcome. Protect Sid at all costs!