Galavant season 2 continued its journey to all-out-war tonight with episodes 5 and 6, and ended on one hell of a pointed note.

Episode 5, “Giants vs Dwarves,” opens with some handy exposition from Richard — have we mentioned how much we love the fourth-wall breaking, tongue-in-cheek approach to the show this season? — about them needing to seek out the giants in order to build their army, to save Isabella and take back the kingdom of Valencia. Sounds pretty straight forward, right?

Well, not quite. Richard, in his usual well-meaning way, decides that giants aren’t the kind of creature they need to take back his land and save Galavant’s love. Oh no. Because there’s something far better than giants…

Dragons.

Or, what Richard honestly believes is a dragon. Sure, he reasons with Galavant, it’s tiny now, but it’ll soon grow up and raze villages to a charred crisp with one breath. This, unfortunately, is a step too far for Galavant — as Richard has traded the jewel of Valencia for his new pet lizard — and they find themselves at odds once more. It’s a perpetual will-they-won’t-they with these two when it comes to their friendship.

Galavant seeks out the giants on his own, and it doesn’t take long before he comes across them. Only, there’s something not quite right, because they’re not exactly… well. Giant. Galavant sets that minor detail aside, as he needs an army, and all they want in return is his help to defeat their mortal enemy — the dwarves (arrgh).

Of course, it’s not quite that simple. Richard has joined forces with the dwarves, who aren’t really dwarves, and the two on-again, off-again friends look about ready to go to war with each other — terrible puns and all. In the midst of all this internal feuding, Galavant and Richard have forgotten one very crucial detail.

Roberta shows up to talk some sense into them, but isn’t successful. Initially, at least. We can’t really be too upset about that, though, as it leads to one of our favorite musical numbers of season 2 so far: a West Side Story-esque build up to their clash. We’re thoroughly enjoying this season’s particular brand of ridiculousness.

The battle is deescalated when they can’t seem to tell each other apart, and Roberta points out Richard’s unflinching loyalty to Galavant and his quest. Galavant has to admit that no one has stuck by his side quite like Richard has, and they reconcile. Unfortunately, neither the dwarves, nor giants, will be joining them on their quest, as they have a bridge to fix. So they’re back to square one. At least they have each other?

Meanwhile, in Hortentia, the still-brainwashed Isabella is continuing to prepare for her incestuous wedding. Wormwood needs her to resolve one little hiccup before the final details fall into place — Princess Jubilee has yet to R.S.V.P. It becomes immediately obvious why Princess Jubilee hasn’t confirmed her place at the wedding, and that’s because it’s not quite her style. Princess Jubilee treats Isabella to a punk-rock-bisexual-Princess show, which results in the mind-controlling crown being knocked from her head.

As for Madalena and Gareth? They’ve found even more common ground, and a mutual attraction, much to Sid’s horror. He attempts to talk some sense into Gareth, as Madalena’s love interests don’t tend to last very long, but that blows up in his face when Gareth lets slip all of the details — and some more — to his new beau. Madalena orders his death, and Sid high-tails it out of there. Which makes us wonder why he didn’t sneak out before, when there wasn’t a price on his head?

Head to the next page for our review of episode 6, ‘About Last Knight’

The sixth episode, “About Last Knight,” kicks off with Sid, now a wanted man in Valencia, attempting to sneak out of the kingdom. Unsurprisingly, his attempts are unsuccessful, and the villages are more than willing to hand him over for six gold pieces. Until Sid rouses them into a frenzy via song, and tries to overthrow Madalena and Gareth. They don’t get very far, as Sid conveniently points out that this will get them all horribly killed.

It’s a small stroke of luck for Sid, at least, as that diverts their attention away from him enough to make his escape. And where does he escape to? The Forest of Coincidence, where he coincidentally runs into a newly-exiled Wormwood and his assistant. This coincidentally leads to his learning exactly where Galavant is, reacquiring his sword, as well as a horse that can make a five day journey in no time at all. As Sid sets off to return to Galavant’s side, Wormwood coincidentally learns that Madalena and Gareth are into unfounded wars.

What a coincidence.

Speaking of the newly-loved-up Queen and King of Valencia, it is Gareth’s birthday, and Madalena sets out to give him exactly what he wants. A new scar. Only, now that he’s King, no one wants to brawl with Gareth, even in the seediest of taverns. It looks as though the whole thing is going to be a bust, right up until Wormwood (coincidentally!) arrives to guide them on the path to bloody war with Hortentia. Which is close enough to a brawl for Gareth.

As for our intrepid heroes, they’re all out of food and options, and Richard’s pet lizard is looking more appetizing by the second. Richard is firm, however, that no one is eating his dragon, which is just as well because they (coincidentally) come across the home of Arnold Galavant.

Galavant is reluctant to visit, despite their hunger, due to his less than ideal relationship with his father. Richard and Roberta insist, and Galavant is resigned to facing the one man he’d rather not face. Things have changed in Galavant’s absence, as Arnold is now mentor to a whole school of disadvantaged boys. Which doesn’t exactly go down too well with Galavant.

He tries, without much success, to shed some light on his father’s true self, but the kids are having none of it. Arnold (coincidentally!) overhears Galavant’s disparaging of his character, and the two have a heart-to-heart, where Galavant discovers his father has been keeping up with all of his exploits — and documented them in a beautiful tapestry.

With Richard training with the kids, and Galavant reconciled with his father, things seem to be on the up-and-up. And they only continue to get better when Sid (coincidentally!) shows up, sword and all. He tosses it in Galavant’s direction — sans sheath — and…

Well.

Yeah, we didn’t see that coming.

Galavant, briefly distracted by Richard’s antics, doesn’t catch the sword and is impaled.

Which is where the episode ends.

…We were all told not to run with scissors as children, but we guess the medieval alternative would be “don’t lob swords at people!”

Here’s hoping it’s just a flesh wound.