Let’s face it. Made-up people are better than real people, and we are all in love with fictional characters. We’re all adults here, we’ve been in fandom for a good long while. This is just part of life, and we have to accept it.
While discussing this very important topic in honor of Valentine’s Day, the staff of Hypable discovered that a lot of our faves, even the sexy ones, are completely undateable — too damaged, too evil, too young, too in love with someone else. So we thought long and hard about which fictional characters we’d genuinely want to be with. Who we’re compatible with. Who’d be a great partner. Who’d be the real deal: relationship material. Here’s what we came up with.
Donya: Poe Dameron from Star Wars
I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t deliberate over this for an agonizing amount of time — choosing your potential fictional partner is some serious business that deserves a lot of thought. And, honestly, most of my favorites are (objectively) human disasters, and I’d, admittedly, never date them. How’s that for some self-awareness? But, despite what I might believe textually from The Force Awakens, if he would have me, I would date Poe Dameron in a heartbeat. Would it be an easy relationship? Not by a long shot — having a partner who would be in the line of fire almost constantly, and gone just as much, would be difficult, but his conviction and belief in the cause of the Resistance would make standing by that (and him) as simple as anything else. It’s no secret amongst my friends (and anyone that follows me on Twitter) that Poe stole my heart almost immediately — from his fearlessness as he flies in the face of the First Order, his kind and gentle nature to those around him, be they droid or defector, his confidence that refuses to turn cocky, and, well, just that little bit of a smart mouth, he has a lot about him that you can admire and respect, and even love. Not to mention… I’ve always had a thing for those orange flightsuits. – @virtual_don
Brittany: Killian Jones from ‘Once Upon a Time’
Some 300 years ago, Captain Hook was the most fearsome pirate to sail the seas. Though he pillaged and plundered for what seemed to be only personal gain, he was driven by a secret motivation — love. Well, revenge too, but let’s focus on the passion, shall we? Killian Jones, circa 2015, still holds onto three signature items from his past including his hook, a fondness for leather, and passion in a relationship. He’s willing to get to know your crazy family, he lets you forge your own path in life, and let’s be honest, the man knows how to plan an evening on the town. Sure he still has some darkness to outgrow, but his heart is in the right place. This pirate knows that life can throw a curveball — or curse — in your path at any moment, so he does his best to make the most of every moment you’d have together. Not to mention the man has the most expressive eyebrows and can make any person come undone by raising a single one. He is one the few human beings who can pull of guyliner and multiple rings. – @britlovely237
Josh: Hermione Granger from Harry Potter
I have to admit that Emma Watson (and her English accent) is mostly to blame for falling in love with Hermione, but her intelligence, strength, and loyalty are also what makes me want to date the beautiful witch. As Ron puts it in Deathly Hallows, “We wouldn’t last two days without her.” She’s her harshest critic, which I find adorable since she’s undeniably perfect, and her convictions would only make me want to date her even more. Hermione is proud to be the most intelligent person in the room, and in the film adaptations she happens to be one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. I could only hope to date someone as beautiful, inside and out, as Hermione Granger. – @JoshuaNealey
Karen: Barry Allen from ‘The Flash’
It was a hard call between Barry and Cisco, but I think I have to go with the man of the hour. He’s super-smart but he’s also kind of awkward, so he has this ability to put you right at ease. I love a guy who’s funny and dorky and a little weird. Barry is also a great boyfriend. He’s dedicated and attentive and romantic, plus he’s got that whole superhero thing going on for him. I’d like to think he’d trust me with his secret and that I’d be understanding of his lifestyle. Plus he has some great friends and an incredible family. Hanging out with Cisco coming up with puntastic villain names? Shopping dates and coffee with Iris? Family dinners with Joe? Sign me up. – @Karen_Rought
Kristen: Flynn Rider from ‘Tangled’
He may have started off a thieving wretch, but by the end of Tangled, Flynn Rider proved himself to be brave, loyal, and willing to go the distance for his lady love. Who wouldn’t want those qualities in their significant other? Plus, his dreams included being somewhere warm and sunny, tanned, and rested, all of which sound pretty fantastic to me. When you throw in that smolder of his, it’s no wonder that the ladies have trouble resisting this incredible man. We haven’t even begun to discuss his sense of humor. Flynn is downright funny, as well as pretty well adjusted for a boy that didn’t have the most charmed life as a child. When you think about it, Flynn Rider is pretty much the ideal man, as long as he can keep those urges to pickpocket and steal under control. – @kranzie85
Andrew: Levi Stewart from ‘Fangirl’
I was debating between Levi and Peeta from The Hunger Games for a while, but ultimately settled on the former. Levi, my beloved Levi. You can’t read Fangirl and not fall in love with him. His good looks, his patience with Cath, and his appreciation of Cath’s love for fandom are what sell me on him. That last point is what really sold me. Too often we forget that one of the most important parts of a relationship is caring about your partner’s interests, whether or not you love those things yourself. Rainbow Rowell puts that on display in Fangirl, and I love her (and Levi) so much more because of it. I’d date Levi in a heartbeat. – @sims
Caitlin: Sam Winchester from ‘Supernatural’
You’d think that being destined to be the Devil’s plaything and growing up moving from place to place, with only your older brother and oft-absent father as constants in a world where things really do go bump in the night, would make a person jaded. But not Sam. Despite being jerked around, tortured, betrayed and any number of other awful things, Sam has remained kind. He protects those weaker than himself, he acknowledges his own mistakes and his capacity for forgiveness seems infinite. These are all traits that make great boyfriend material. Sam would rather spend a night in reading a book or watching TV than going out, which sounds perfect to me. Did I mention he loves dogs? Of course, there are those whole hunting monsters and codependence with his brother things, but hey, I’ve seen the show. I know what I’m in for. I mean, have you seen that glorious hair? – @purplehrdwonder
Ariana: Jake Peralta from ‘Brooklyn 99’
Despite my own better judgment about his ever-mounting debt, I can’t help but find myself crushing hard on Brooklyn’s finest detective. He’s funny, kind, loyal, and brilliant to boot, but I think what I appreciate most is the way he’s willing to learn and grow from his mistakes. Even though he’s the hot shot at the precinct, he chooses to takes the underdogs under his wing, while genuinely being everyone’s best friend. (Plus, on a personal note, he apparently has a thing for neurotic Latinas, so at least I’ve got that going for me.) – @Ariana_Qz
James: Margaery Tyrell from ‘Game of Thrones’
We all know that she’s up to something, but hey, what does it matter anyway? We’re in Westeros after all, and you can’t do a whole lot better in that universe (or this one for that matter) than Natalie Dormer in a series of low-plunging outfits. Determined and resourceful, Margaery knows exactly what she wants and how to get it. This sort of independence and self-motivation is very attractive. Also, after looking through my list of potential fandom partners, I came to the conclusion that I’ve known Hermione for too long (we’re practically like brother and sister!), Peggy Carter wouldn’t put up with my nonsense (plus, can we talk about how I would feel competing with an ex-boyfriend like that?!), and Rey is just far too busy to settle into a long-term relationship. I like stability and a sense that I’m working toward the same goal with my partner, and with Margaery I feel like we could achieve this as we work together to seize the Iron Throne. – @thisisjimmybean
Laura: Jamie Fraser from ‘Outlander’
James Alexander Malcolm McKenzie Fraser, JAMMF, himself, or just plain old Jamie is exactly who I want. It’s hard to find an 18th century man who respects women as intellectual equals, equals in a marriage, and equals in good times and bad, but that’s exactly what Jamie Fraser comes around to in the eight books and counting of the Outlander series. Don’t get me wrong, Jamie isn’t perfect. He makes plenty of mistakes, and he can be a man of his times, but he has the capacity and inclination to listen and learn. In the end it comes down to one word: honor. Jamie is a man who honors his legacy and commitments, and who takes the honorable path even when that path is a difficult one. He is someone you can rely on no matter what. His word is golden. – @NewYorkerLaura
Natalie: Luke Skywalker from Star Wars
I only discovered my love for Star Wars recently, and the greatest gift it’s given me — even more than perfect human Poe Dameron — is Luke Skywalker. I love him helplessly. I’d take him at his sleeveless swamp sexiest, and I’d take him at his hilltop hobo hairiest. Yeah, being attached to the Savior of the Galaxy would have a price — it’s likely that Luke has many enemies and many creepy followers, both of whom might not think much of his partner. But it’d be worth it to be around him every day and have that smile turned on me. Luke has the most beautiful soul in the universe. He’s constantly so optimistic and so kind. He’s so earnest. He’s very comfortable with himself. He tries so hard at everything he does, and he makes the people around him better by believing in them. He’s also hilariously sassy — I cherish every single eyeroll at Han’s expense — and he’d be the most fun to sit around and privately laugh with, though I know he’d keep me from getting too mean! He also has a quiet sense of power that I find really attractive. He’s very accepting of his position of authority and responsibility while remaining grounded and — even though I find Jedi mind tricks deeply unethical — when he does it, it’s kind of hot. Just call me Mara Jade. – @nataliefisher