Earlier this week Facebook announced that you can now tell the social network who can take control of your account when you die.
Since we’re always thinking about the world through the eyes of fandom, we started wondering what would happen if our favorite television characters decided to set up their “legacy contact.”
We put our heads together and came up with these sad truths.
‘Once Upon a Time’
Character: Emma Swan
Legacy Contact: Henry
Storybrooke residents can barely use cell phones, let alone social networks. But Emma has her past life to worry about. Since Henry spent a significant amount of time during the lost year as a teen in the real world, he is the only one who would even know what Facebook is.
‘American Horror Story’
Character: Every cast member
Legacy Contact: Ryan Murphy
Seeing as he is hailed as the “person to reinvigorate” so many careers, it seems only fitting that Ryan Murphy would send off his cast in style.
‘Veronica Mars’
Character: Veronica
Legacy Contact: Mac
If Veronica were to pass and Mac wanted to get into V’s Facebook, it would be a cinch. However, Mac would also be able to lock out anyone else forevermore, thus protecting not only all of the ante cards that Veronica likely holds against her greatest enemies, but also the deepest and darkest LoVe conversations.
‘Elementary’
Character: Sherlock Holmes
Legacy Contact: None, permanently delete
Joan Watson would be up to the task of removing her partner’s Facebook page in a heartbeat. But how many accounts does Sherlock actually have? Not believing in the use of such a narcissistic social activity, Sherlock would only have accounts in place to progress a case. Better take care of this himself and not have Joan dwell on this trifle of a mystery when she could be out solving his murder.
‘Doctor Who’
Character: Clara Oswald
Legacy Contact: Doctor
Clara might be tech savvy, but the Doctor has a lot to learn. At this point he’s got to keep up with the times. Even the Master seems to have mastered the selfie. If the Doctor can brandish a sonic screwdriver, and pilot the Tardis, surely he can handle Clara’s Facebook. Besides, now that Danny is gone, who else would Clara trust the most to keep her web footprint in order?
‘Parks & Rec’
Character: Leslie Knope
Legacy Contact: Ann Perkins
Most people would assume Ben would be the person Leslie hands over her Facebook account to after she fell down a pit to her death (that’s how she would die right!?), but it’s actually Ann. Ann’s the beautiful tropical fish that would continue to post Leslie’s feminism quote images, Joe Biden fail videos and all the extraneous posts about what’s going on in Pawnee. Ann wouldn’t cut Ben out though — she would share his Hypable posts about Game of Thrones.
‘Game of Thrones’
Character: Bran Stark
Legacy Contact: Hodor
Hodor hodor hodor. Hodor? Hodor! Hodor, hodor hodor. Hodor hodor. HODOR!
‘Teen Wolf’
Character: Scott McCall
Legacy Contact: Stiles Stilinski
Who else would Scott trust besides his best friend? Scott has surrounded himself with people he loves and who love him in return, but no one would be able to manage his Facebook account like Stiles. Sure, Stiles’ sense of humor can sometimes leave something to be desired for Scott, but he knows that when it comes right down to it, Stiles will make sure everyone remembers the best of him.
‘The Mindy Project’
Character: Mindy Lahiri
Legacy Contact: Michael Fassbender
She knows better than to leave her precious digital identity to Danny Castellano, one of the most technology-illiterate men on the island of Manhattan, so instead she would leave it in the hands of one of the most attractive men today. Granted, Morgan would probably take it over anyways, but it’s a good try, Mindy.
‘Eye Candy’
Character: Lindy Sampson
Legacy Contact: Self Destruct
Let’s be real. Lindy’s Facebook account would be nearly unhackable while she were alive, so why would she leave it to chance after she passed? Sophia might be the prime candidate for her legacy contact, but Lindy knows the power of social media and what it can do in the wrong hands — and she’s been making plenty of enemies recently. No, she’d rather her friends celebrate her IRL and shut down her Facebook page after her death, just in case.
‘Arrow’
Character: Oliver Queen
Legacy Contact: Felicity Smoak
The last time Oliver Queen went off to die, he left his city in the hands of Team Arrow. Even though Starling City is dear to him, his social media presence is another story entirely. There are too many secrets and false identities to keep up for anyone but Team Arrow’s tech guru.
‘Orphan Black’
Character: Sarah Manning
Legacy Contact: Felix Dawkins
There’s no one in this world that Sarah trusts more than Felix. He’s been with her through her entire life, and stuck by her side throughout all the clone drama. Despite the clone drama getting between them, she knows he’s the one to take over her Facebook account — if she even had one. Let’s face it: When you’re a con and you’re avoiding people, you’re probably not going to be on social media much.
‘Scandal’
Character: President Fitz
Legacy Contact: Cyrus Bean
There’s only one person the President could trust, and that’s his Chief of Staff. Mellie couldn’t have access because she’d see all of his messages to Olivia and get jealous. Olivia is too busy handling other people’s lives to have a Facebook of her own. Plus, if Fitz dies, Olivia couldn’t handle ever getting a glimpse of him again.
Now it’s your turn: Who would fictional characters set as their legacy contact?
To learn more about Facebook’s new feature, click here.
Brittany Lovely, Mitchel Clow, Laura Cristiano, John Thrasher, Jimmy Bean, Tariq Kyle, Karen Rought, Kristina Lintz, and Caitlin Kelly contributed to this feature.