Yes, Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper have amazing chemistry when they perform, but that doesn’t mean that you should ship them in real life.

The 2019 Oscars proved to be way more entertaining than anyone expected for multiple reasons, but the most talked-about event of the night was Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper’s performance of “Shallow,” which appeared in their movie A Star is Born and won the Academy Award for Best Original Song.

Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper did an amazing job making the song sound powerful on stage, while also keeping it romantic and intimate, ending it smiling with their heads together in what had to be some of the best on-screen chemistry the Oscars has ever had.

By the end of the night, social media was exploding with memes about Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga’s relationship, while also digging at Cooper’s girlfriend, who sat in the audience. By the next day, there seemed to be articles everywhere talking about “how she reacted”, and speculating about Lady Gaga breaking up a relationship.

It all peaked on Jimmy Fallon, when Fallon asked Gaga about it, prompting the most genuine eyeroll I’ve ever seen a star give during an interview. She replied:

“People saw love and, guess what, that’s what we wanted to you to see. This is a love song… when you’re singing love songs, that’s how you want people to feel.”

It was clear from her tone that she’s fed up with the way the media and fans are spinning the situation. And it’s completely understandable: she and Cooper are friends and colleagues, and it must be uncomfortable to have the press spin this like you’re breaking up your friend’s relationship.

Plus, the fact that people are talking about this rather than how great of a performance they put on is disrespectful to them both.

It’s easy to become invested in the celebrities we follow, and try to find connections between their work and their lives. But there are serious issues with this mentality, and as fans, we should realize that there are some lines that shouldn’t be crossed.

This situation reminded me a lot of Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart’s relationship, years ago. All their fans wanted Edward and Bella from the Twilight movies to be together in real life, and celebrated when they became a real couple. But when their relationship fell apart, and rumors spread about infidelity, memes circulated, death threats were sent to Kristen Stewart, and the entire internet became a participant in the story.

It was a terrible injustice to everyone involved — and what should have been a private issue became international news. Fans don’t need to have opinions about celebrities’ personal relationships, much less shout them at the celebrities through social media. Jennifer Aniston even had to pen a piece about the years of harassment she endured (and still endures) at the hands of the press because of her split with Brad Pitt, and people’s speculation about her possible pregnancies.

Reality shows may have made us feel like it’s okay to be spectators to celebrities’ love affairs, but not everyone is choosing to be exposed in this way. Mixing up an actor with their performance is disrespectful, and can even be dangerous.

And it’s turning our enjoyment of pop culture into something it shouldn’t be.

(What does this say about real-person fanfiction? I don’t know. But at the very least, we should know not to blur the lines between real life and fiction in a way that actually disrupts people’s lives.)

What we’re doing to Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper isn’t cool. And it’s disrespectful to Cooper’s girlfriend, as well as Cooper and Gaga’s performances. We can, and should, appreciate how amazing their rendition of “Shallow” was at the Oscars — but let’s focus on that, instead of making this about their personal lives.