Empire 2×13, “The Tameness of a Wolf,” did not disappoint with its shocking revelations. We had a feeling Cookie’s birthday wouldn’t go as planned.

In “The Tameness of a Wolf,” we start off with a sort of memorial for Camilla. Hakeem actually seems a bit emotional during his speech. We find out that Rhonda is now the new creative director as well. That was a quick turnover. Then as they walk into the Empire HQ, Lucious is sitting in the throne and congratulates Hakeem on “killing” Camilla. Hakeem gets defensive because he (obviously) didn’t kill her, but I had a feeling Lucious was going to go this route.

Tiana vs. Lara

Tiana is complaining that Lara and her group are cutting into her time. She lets Lara know and Lara claims she was genuinely just trying to be the hype girl for Tiana. Is Tiana wanting to be with Hakeem again?

When Becky brings the war to Hakeem’s attention, he decides to take a little trip to D.C. to, um, handle the situation. Naturally, Tiana, the headliner, lists a bunch of her demands. Hakeem agrees but on the condition Tiana allows Ménage à Trois to perform a little longer in the smaller cities. Lara is ecstatic about the news and also invites her family to see her. Oh, and that little number above is a performance that Hakeem jumped into with Tiana and Lara. Definitely digging it!

Hakeem notices Lara’s tight-knit Latino family dynamic and is a bit jealous because his is the polar opposite. He wants that so badly that after the crazy events of Cookie’s birthday dinner Hakeem goes straight to Lara, outside the area she just performed at earlier, and proposes in front of a bunch of fans!

Yes. Hakeem Lyon just proposed to Lara and says he wants to start a family with her like the one she has. He freaking put a ring on it! Ladies and gents, this is a very different Hakeem than what we’re used to.

Lucious’ backstory/music video

Dwight Walker. We, the viewers, have known for a while now about Lucious’ secret. Now that the whole world knows since Jamal threw him under the bus, Cookie thinks it might be a good idea to use the music video to “Boom boom boom boom” to “tell his story.” (Queue Hamilton’s, “Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story” here.)

In the process of creating the video, Cookie discovers things about Lucious’ past that she never knew, and not only his real name. He tells Cookie of his mother’s suicide, which happened right before him.

And they decided it was a great idea to add that to the music video. Creepy, right?

Lucious struggles with casting his mother and keeps having flashbacks of him almost drowning and the gun his mother used.

Jamal, Hakeem and Freda collab

Hakeem and Jamal head out to the streets to get Freda to do a collab with them. She isn’t wanting any part of it because she’s still Lucious’ golden child at the moment. They tell her that it’s only a matter of time until Lucious kicks her to the curb, too.

Like clockwork, Freda realizes her verse has been taken off of “Boom Boom Boom Boom” and she decides to join Jamal and Hakeem. Turns out, Hakeem is a pretty decent producer and Jamal and Freda work at a common ground — having jerks for fathers.

When Cookie listens in on their studio session and she hears Freda rap about Frank Gathers, she stops the music. We all remember who Frank Gathers is, right? Her daddy, aka Chris Rock, who played her father earlier this season — who Cookie and Lucious had murdered. Yikes. They’re always making friends with the wrong people.

It’s Cookie’s birthday, y’all

Leading up to Cookie’s birthday, she continues to tell everyone that all she wants is a DRAMA FREE birthday dinner with her family. Pffft. One by one, everyone kept telling her how they couldn’t make it and they’d make it up to her. She settled for having dinner with just her and Lucious. That is, until the piano started playing in the other room and the whole family was there singing “Happy Birthday” a la Steve Wonder. It was actually an adorable moment until Cookie wanted to show them Lucious’ video.

As they’re all watching the video, they see who is supposed to be Lucious’ mother — their grandmother — kill herself and almost kill Lucious beforehand! Andre stands up and turns the TV off and flat out asks if his grandmother was bi-polar. Lucious said he didn’t know, he “ain’t no doctor,” but he “guesses” she is. Here comes Hulk Andre.

What angered Andre was that Lucious always treated him differently and had he known why it might have been easier for him. Lucious tells Andre, “The real truth is my mother was a nut-job, and I was embarrassed by her, the same way I’m embarrassed by you.”

Now you see why Hakeem wants a different family so badly?

Oh, and Rhonda was forced to walk home, so who does she decide to call but her baby’s killer Anika. She’ll be staying with Anika for a while, too. She better find those pointy shoes with the red soles in Anika’s closet!

Our favorite ‘Empire’ one-liners of 2×13

– Cookie’s take on Camilla’s last creative venture: “… going out like a carpet-munching Romeo and Juliet.”
– Becky explaining to Hakeem about Tiana vs. Lara: “This is bad. This is Keyshia Cole versus Black Twitter bad.”
– Cookie to Porsha: “Can you and your country-ass traditions give us a minute, please?”
– Jamal to Freyda, after Lucious’ betrayal: “Even when you know you dealin’ with the devil, it still hurts.”
– Lucious to Cookie after she asked how he pulled off the surprise: “Apparently they love you more than they hate me.”
– Jamal to Cookie about Lucious: “You all sprung on that man.”

What did you think of ‘Empire’ 2×13, ‘The Tameness of a Wolf’?